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NFL Conference Championships 2021 Post MOrtem: A Love(?) Story

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Introduction

Sorry that I’m a day late on this NFL Conference Championships 2021 post mortem article. I was busy simulating for my epic 70 year run of Super Bowl LV: As It Should Have Been. Actually, I don’t own the teams for this year yet to be able to simulate the games yet. They won’t be released for another couple of months at the earliest.

In all honesty, I’ve just been slacking lately.

But, I bring you my take on the fallout from the games this past weekend. Spoiler alert: I liked one outcome. However, I hated the other in every way possible. Instead of dwelling on the games themselves, which we all watched, allow me to reflect on how the results may have affected each team. I realize that may be unorthodox.

What are we if not unorthodox around here. I just try to find those forgotten or lost topics to write about. With so much content out there, especially in sports, that can be difficult. Nevertheless, 6 years of a web page that reaches about a dozen people at a time proves that I do not give up easily. Join me, now, for the NFL Conference Championships 2021 post mortem.

Green Bay Packers – Wither Aaron Rodgers?

Not my terrible photoshop, but I happened to be in my Simpsons crapposting group on Facebook and this one popped up.

Poor Aaron Rodgers. I mentioned in the previous two articles that he has thrown less than 100 interceptions in his career. This season, he again made a compelling case as the MVP. And yet, in the aftermath of this weekend’s game, the less imaginative members of sports media saddled him with the “can’t win the big one” label.

Yes, the Packers lost the game with him. Yes, that makes them 1-4 in conference championships with him as their. Forget for a minute that wins and losses are not a quarterback stat. Football is the ultimate team game until a quarterback has an unfavorable record. Then, all of a sudden, he’s a choker and “can’t win the big one”. So stupid.

Tampa Bay got Tom Brady and then basically sold their future for now. They got Leonard Fournette, a good receiving corp and offensive line, Bruce Arians as coach, and one of the best defenses. Kansas City reloaded after Hunt went to Cleveland. Hell, even Buffalo got Stephon Diggs to help Josh Allen. Aaron Rodgers has the other Aaron, a receiving corp that drops ball after ball, and a suspect defense made even more so by a cornerback whose kink is apparently getting beat like a drum every other play.

Chris accused me of “Brady hate” during our text exchange during the game. More on that later. The whole game, I just kept thinking how much this sucks for Rodgers. I hope he gets another chance to drag this corpse of a team up the mountain and shut everyone up. Oh, I forgot to mention earlier. You’re the coach of a team down 8 with about 2 minutes to go. What do you do? Oh, you’re kicking a field goal. Surely, you have the trickiest onside kick planned, right? Right? RIGHT?!

Buffalo Bills – Young Coaches Got Schooled

Bills fans are adorably naive.

I quietly rode the Josh Allen bandwagon last year. He looked to be improving. However, I didn’t want to come out as a full Josh Allen fan. I’ve been burned before. Remember Kordell Stewart? I bought too many shares of that stock just before it tanked. The jury on Tua in the NFL is still out, but his college career is enough for me to hang my hat on. Therefore, unless your name is Patrick F. Mahomes, I reserve the right to be, uh, reserved in my adoration.

Even though I wanted to watch this game more than any other game so far this season, I didn’t. I tuned in to the Gamecast and saw KC was up 21-9. Texted Chris, “Well, at least something is going according to plan.” He agreed. I “watched” the Gamecast for a bit more and went to bed confident in the Chefs’ victory.

So, not having seen the game, I can’t comment with 100% accuracy. I will, instead, report from one of the various articles I’ve read in the past week. It looked to me like the two losing teams simply got outcoached. Yes, I realize that seems hypocritical when I just said the team wins and loses and that it can’t be blamed on one person. Nevertheless, the coach (especially in the NFL) has much of the power and decision making capacity.

Think of it like a game of Magic the Gathering (what’s this, gaming content?). Now, granted, football players are more than simply pieces of cardboard. But, stick with me for this possibly overwrought metaphor. The decisions that you make (right or wrong) add up over the game and one costly mistake can lose you the game. The point is the Bills will be back and I’m fully on the Josh Allen bandwagon now.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Oh, God, Not This Again

Yes, much of what I’ve said about Tom Brady should not be published on a fan friendly web page. Allow me to explain.

I already said that Chris accused me of Brady hate. He said this in response to my preview article where I said that I don’t hate Brady as a football player or a person. I assure you, all of that is true. Then again, by simply needing to assure you, I may have already exposed my guilt. So, what’s the deal? Do I or do I not hate Tom Brady?

I don’t hate Tom Brady the person. Yes, he is a consummate con man that peddles questionable medical and lifestyle advice. Basically, he’s Gwenyth Paltrow for sports dudes. But, he seems to actually believe the crap he says, so it’s not like he is Trump level con man. I also don’t hate Tom Brady the football player. He does what a quarterback is supposed to do and he does it very well.

I do hate, still, that he receives a bulk of the credit, especially for this game. He threw 3 TDs, that much is true. He also threw three interceptions and, in the second half, looked like Eli Manning. As mentioned, his defense bailed him out. It also helped that Green Bay’s coach isn’t very good at probability and statistics.

I read one article that credited the defense, which gives me some faith that bad actors in sports media are being ushered out the door. These guys are professional writer and speakers and the best they can come up with is “Tom Brady Good/Aaron Rodgers Chokes”. It infuriates me to no end. I even said to Chris this week, why do we pay for sports media content? Eff the sports media.

Kansas City Chiefs – Start Chad Henne?

I’m sorry, Patrick. Please forgive me.

In the closing seconds of the Green Bay/Tampa Bay game, I might have texted Chris, “I might consider starting Henne in this game to give Mahomes more time to rest and recuperate.” He texted about turf toe in an attempt to trigger my paranoia, so I responded in kind.

I forgot that the NFL has access to a wide variety of pain killing medication (surprisingly, even though it’s been decriminalized and legalized, that doesn’t include cannabis) that they can mix into cocktails to get a guy ready to take his 3 hours of abuse on the field. So, it most likely is that Mahomes was out there and tossing 3 TDs against a Bills defense that looked good earlier in the year and the week before, but wilted against decent to good offenses.

A couple of days ago, I went back and read my article previewing the Eagles/Patriots Super Bowl. I must cheer against Tom Brady. I cultivated my entire football fan identity around that key idea. And, so, as a former Pittsburgh native, I swallowed my pride and cheered for the Eagles. I took no joy in this.

This year, I can both root against Tom Brady and for Patrick Mahomes. I do this fully aware that the NFL loves a “riding off into the sunset” story and will push that above all else. Knowing that my heart might be ripped in two adds to the excitement. I take solace in the fact that Chris and I both agree that Tampa, unless their defense plays out of their minds, doesn’t have a chance in this game. Oh crap. That gives me no solace at all.

The Verdict

I enjoyed this past weekend. I did tune out of the Packers/Bucs game for the second and third quarters because I thought the Bucs might run away with the game. Chris got me back in by updating me on Brady’s three picks each time they happened. I then sat in stunned silence at the field goal call before texting Chris that I’m not a football coach but I did not understand it at all. You already know that I didn’t watch the Chiefs/Bills game, but the Chiefs won, so that’s all gravy. Thanks for reading my NFL Conference Championships 2021 Post Mortem and see you in a few days for the Super Bowl Preview.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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NFL Conference Championships 2021: A Love(?) Story

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Introducton

I think that Chris missed my article this week about the NFL Conference Championships 2021. He texted yesterday to ask my picks for the Super Bowl. I know we talked about it at the end of the wild card round and I told him Kansas City vs. Green Bay. Maybe he wanted to see if I changed my mind.

Spoiler Alert: I didn’t change my mind.

I responded, “I want to see KC/TB, but Brady still has that mojo even if he isn’t very good.” He replied that he wanted to see the same. I hopefully texted back, “The solace is that Brady faced Brees, who is clearly on his last leg. At this point, Rodgers is the superior quarterback.” He agreed. So, since that’s settled, what will I write in this article.

A couple of years ago, I ranked the potential Super Bowls according to an extremely scientific “Eff the Pats” scale. Since the Patriots sucked out loud this year without Brady, I won’t have to implement that scale. I don’t hate Brady as an individual. He only offended me in his unholy union with Belichick. Maybe I should use a “Mahomes Magic” scale. It’s just the “Eff the Pats” scale, but positive. Everyone, send your magic to the Chefs for tomorrow. Chad Henne did okay last week, but I need Mahomes. Continue to read my thoughts on the NFL Conference Championships 2021.

Bills/Bucs – 0 Mahomes Magic

Technically, Bills/Packers is 0 Mahomes Magic, too. However, I will explain in the next section why that isn’t true. This game is, for sure, 0 Mahomes Magic, though. No actual Mahomes. We do get discount Mahomes in Josh Allen. However, if he beats the Chefs, I would be too bitter to enjoy watching him play in the Super Bowl.

Add in the fact that I’d have to watch another Tom Brady Super Bowl and you have a recipe for a potential emotional breakdown. Granted, I just admitted that I don’t hate Brady as a player or even as a person (but he does seem like kind of a trash person sometimes). Not wanting to see Brady again fits into my “been there, done that” box. Plus, the media would simply fellate Brady for the entire two weeks leading to the Super Bowl. It’s enough to make me dry heave.

Bills/Packers – 3 Mahomes Magic

How, without Mahomes even in the game, does it receive any Mahomes Magic, let alone three? Patience. I told you I will explain and I will. Granted, this scenario lacks Patrick Mahomes, as mentioned. However, it also lacks any mention of TB12, too. For me, the addition of Rodgers at the subtraction of Brady is an automatic +3 Mahomes Magic.

I always liked Rodgers. Even when I used to be a bigger Steelers fan and his Packers beat them in the Super Bowl, I shrugged and tipped my hat to the man. Ever since reading the article a few weeks ago that he has thrown only 89 picks in his career. Okay, pause a moment after that last stat because this next one is the real mind screw. He’s thrown 3 (yes, 3) pick sixes. Five guys, including our man Hall of Famer Eli Manning, has throw 3 in a game.

Watching Rodgers eviscerate the Bills defense would put my mind at ease that they beat Mahomes to get there.

Chiefs/Bucs – 5 Mahomes Magic

I mean, let’s be real. Mahomes is worth 10 Mahomes Magic by himself. However, I said I would be consistent to the other scale, so he’s just an automatic 5. Not even Brady is enough to knock that dew off of the lily. Add to the fact that Mahomes beat Brady 3 out of the 4 times they’ve played and I have full confidence in him doing it again.

Sure, there’s the possibility of Brady fellating as mentioned earlier. However, Mahomes Magic easily eclipses anything that Brady brings to the table. Plus, watching that sad old man trip over his walker while the young and virile Patrick Mahomes smile his way through 4 or 5 TDs and another Super Bowl MVP is enough to make a man swoon.

Chiefs/Packers – 8 Mahomes Magic

Mahomes. No Brady in sight. Rodgers. Endless State Farm commercials. What more can you ask for? Nothing. This might be the most perfect Super Bowl matchup in history. If it doesn’t happen, I’m going to simulate it 25,000 times to assuage my hurt. So, if either the Bills or Bucs win, get ready for 70 years of “Super Bowl LV – How It Should Have Been”.

The Verdict

Seriously, though, any outcome of the NFL Conference Championships 2021 is okay with me. Besides, we never actually watch the game. We started a tradition maybe a decade ago now where we watch all of the movies from a franchise on Super Bowl day while still eating the standard Super Bowl fare of appetizers. In honor of Cobra Kai, this year it will be The Karate Kid series. Hey, don’t blame me. Christine came up with the idea. I’d be happy simply rewatching Cobra Kai.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Digital Playground

CFP National Championship 2021 Post Mortem: Great, Good, Decent

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Introduction

Only a week late on this CFP National Championship 2021 post mortem article. You might say that means we’re getting back on track. While I won’t argue with you, I urge caution. I still need to start the gaming content for the new year. I took those weeks off to do comics and then college football and the NFL. I still have to write this article. Then, I will do the divisional round post mortem tomorrow. After that, I need to figure out my schedule for the rest of the month.

I bought some horror adventures to play D&D with the family. Also, I have been playing a ton of Minecraft. Both are games.

As mentioned in the caption above, I have a couple of games to get me through January. So, after this CFP National Championship post mortem and tomorrow’s divisional round post mortem, I will prepare some content for Minecraft, Dungeons and Dragons, and Mortal Kombat 11. In addition to the Aftermath story, I want to show off my new PC Minecraft world. The family actually gave me a chance to play D&D the other day. We played Clue two days in a row. Not really in the mood to play the second night, they asked me what I’d rather play. For a second, I considered mentioning D&D. Instead, I caved and we played Clue. Oh well, there will be other opportunities. Okay, apologies to those of you who are here for the college football. Let’s get on to the CFP National Championship 2021 post mortem.

Note: I will go through the preview article point by point and give my response to each of them.

The Great

Evil Empire is Back: Though I found myself actually rooting for Alabama (which, coincidentally, I think I mentioned might happen), they are absolutely the Evil Empire of college football again. Craig, who hasn’t responded to my apology for blowing off his invitation to join him for the game, texted me something about college football resembling women’s college basketball where only two teams can win. I think he’s right. The committee proved that the year that Alabama lost 2 games and still made it into the playoffs over other teams. Oh, they did lose Sarkisian. What? They’re replacing him with Bill O’Brien? Man, eff Bama.

Justin Fields: Fate chose him as the Bama slayer this year. He looked to be super human against Clemson when he took an absolute shot that left me horrified and wondering again why I watch this brutal display, especially with kids who aren’t even getting paid. Then, he kept the Buckeyes in the game for the first quarter before the Evil Empire unleashed the Death Star in the form of DeVonta Smith. Valiant effort, young man. I hope you heal so we can see what you do in the NFL.

The Good

Covid Bowl: At the beginning of the game, I kept my promise to root for chaos. I hoped for a national champion with less than 10 wins. As mentioned above, DeVonta Smith ensured that wouldn’t happen. Faced with the futility of this particular wish, I accepted our reality and ended up cheering for the Evil Empire to just end it all and blow us all up.

No Fans: Reading the preview article, it surprised me how much I said about this topic. I guess I said it all, though, because I have no follow up for this article. I barely even noticed the lack of fans at the game.

The Decent

No Halftime Show: I thought I might miss the halftime show. I actually enjoyed a few of the CFP halftime shows. Maybe not more than the NFL as they have finally figured out their demographic for the halftime show and lean into it. As you probably figured out, I actually did not miss the halftime show. I barely even noticed the lack of a show. Instead, I enjoyed my extra time with Herbstreit, Fowler, and Des.

More of the same: I just want it known that I nailed this one. OSU played good ball for a quarter (I think I said they might be competitive for the first half) before Alabama’s talent took over and they blew the Buckeyes off the field.

The Verdict

Thanks for reading my CFP National Championship 2021 post mortem. Especially those of you who come here for gaming content. I promise it is coming soon. Just give me one more sports article tomorrow. Then, after that we will resume gaming content for the month until the weekend and the conference championship games. As far as this game, it went exactly as I expected. Even so, I enjoyed watching and I look forward to the draft and next year’s college season. Maybe Covid will be more under control by then.

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NFL Divisional Playoffs 2021: A Love(?) Story

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Introduction

I’m cutting this NFL Divisional Playoffs 2021 preview a bit close. I think the first game this week starts in about an hour and a half. I should have this written and posted before then, so it will still count as a preview. Why is this so late? And, where is the CFP National Championship post mortem? What is happening to this page? Is it about to become inactive for a couple of months again?

Never say never, but I’m committed to keeping the momentum, even if it isn’t quite the same momentum as last year right now.

You expect me to say something about school now. While not completely wrong, the story is actually much simpler and less responsible. I started playing Minecraft again on my new laptop and that sucked many hours from my life over the last week. I apologize for my negligence. Let’s talk about the NFL Divisional Playoffs 2021.

NFC Divisional Playoffs

Rams/Packers (Saturday, 4:35 EST): I texted Chris earlier in the week with the question, “Any surprises this weekend? re: NFL” I will save his answer for later because it relates to another game. I responded that the Rams have a great defense this year and they could pull off a win against the Packers. He replied about Jared Goff’s injury and I conceded he was probably right. The Rams might keep the game close, but ultimately I think that Aaron Rodgers and his 89 (seriously) career interceptions find a way to pull out the win.

Bucs/Aints (Sunday, 6:40 EST): During our text exchange, we both agreed this game has the potential to be the most entertaining. Sure, N’Awlins beat up on the Bucs twice this year. But, and this argument isn’t much of an argument, Tom Brady in the playoffs. Also, we can’t forget the Aint’s recent tortured history in the playoffs. Sure, they usually wait until the conference championship to break their fans hearts. I have confidence they can take care of business a round early this year.

AFC Divisional Playoffs

Ravens/Bills (Saturday, 8:15 EST): If Bucs/Aints promises to be the most entertaining, this game might give them a run for their money. The Bills are favored by less than a field goal. Lamar Jackson finally doesn’t have to listen to the dumb narrative that he hasn’t won a playoff game. This whole week, they’ve instead gone with the equally dumb narrative that he’s never won a game in snow. Well, the snow in Buffalo can be brutal, but this storm looks to be mild. I’m rooting for the Bills, but a Rats/Chefs championship honestly sounds more fun.

Browns/Chefs (Sunday, 3:05 EST): Now, for Chris’s answer to my text. He responded with a joke about the Browns winning and him not able to text that with a straight face. I replied, “It’s funny because a lot of the talking heads are picking that game as a possible upset. I think they just did so because there’s literally nothing to lose. You either look like a “genius” or everyone forgets you made the pick. I’m not ready to pick against the Chefs until they give me reason and now that I’ve typed it, I’m jazzed about Rats/Chefs next round.

The Verdict

I said after the Wild Card that I wasn’t as excited about the games as I thought I might be. I barely watched any and tuned out from the Steelers after the first play of the game. However, something about this week’s games must have interested me. I searched for them earlier on Hulu before realizing the games started later today. Good thing they do. I got a chance to write this preview and get even more excited for the games. GB/TB and KC/Bal sound like a fun conference championship weekend.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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CFP National Championship 2021: Great, Good, Decent

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Introduction

Okay, let’s do this. Bama/Clemson for the CFP National Championship 2021 for the third (fourth? fifth? I’ve lost count) time in a row. Wait, what’s that you say? It’s not? Color me truly surprised. I honestly thought part of living in this hell was the torture of the same CFP final game for the rest of eternity.

I don’t know how the Buckeyes broke the curse, but I’m thankful they did.

As a casual fan of college football, I willingly accepted the Alabama/Nick Saban “evil empire” story. I hated the team. That was all BT (Before Tua). I legitimately jumped out of my seat on the couch and cheered Tua’s debut in the National Championship game that year. I bought his story hook, line, and sinker. Before he left for the NFL, he was my college football man crush. Unfortunately, he has a lot of competition in the pros, so while I still like him, he needs to get in line. And, get a lot better to even come close to Mahomes.

I cheered for Alabama last year mostly to spite my friend Craig. We’re both kind of a-holes and we do that kind of stuff on a regular basis. In fact, I planned on going over to his house at some point during bowl season (and then again tonight) to watch some college football. He is a much more devoted fan than me and it can be fun to watch games with him in spite of the fact that we do things out of spite towards one another. I decided against going over. I could have just watched the first half, but it’s a late night for a school night. What, then, will I be watching in the CFP National Championship 2021 by myself?

The Great

That’s the same red as the royal troopers in Star Wars, isn’t it?

Evil Empire is back – With Tua gone to the NFL and his brother taking his talents to the Terrapins, I have no reason left to root for this team. I could take the counter culture route and cheer for Nick Saban and his douche bag act. Unlike Belichick, I actually find Saban to be somewhat charming. But, that means that I’d have to cast my lot with a team that had 3 out of the 5 finalists for the Heismann trophy. That goes against my very being as a sports fan.

Justin Fields – I heard the kid’s name through the season, but never saw him play until the semi finals against Clemson. He took a brutal hit and I thought for a minute that he might be dead. Nope, he only came back out to throw 6 TDs against one of the best teams in the history of college football. I’ll be interested to see what he can do against Alabama.

The Good

Covid Bowl – Regular readers of the page may know that I’m a fan of chaos, especially when that chaos is confined to the ultimately pointless arena of sports. Thanks to COVID, chaos has ruled this college football season. Several teams with losing records played and won bowl games. The two potential “spoilers” this year both put an end to any talk of them as actual contenders by taking a dump in their bowl games. Some of that chaos is present in this game. If Ohio State wins, they will have won a National Championship playing only 8 games, the fewest since the 40s. I think that’s what I heard. Bring that on.

No fans – I mean, there will be fans. But, it will be the COVID version of fans in the stands. In a stadium that holds over 65,000, there will be maybe a quarter of that actually in attendance. Some have lamented the fact that there are no fans in the stands. Honestly, other than the weird Zoom fans that the NBA had in the bubble, I haven’t noticed the crowd in any of these events. When they show the stands, it looks weird. Other than that, though, the fans are superfluous to the process.

The Decent

No Halftime Show? – This is how you know I’m an old guy. I mean, forget that most of my references are from Seinfeld, The Simpsons, and 80s and 90s SNL. Or, that my top ten games are all from the Super Nintendo or before. Maybe, also forget that I groan when I sit down, need to take an extra 10-15 minutes to get out of bed in the morning, and that my doctor mistakenly gave me a prostate exam before remarking, “Oh, you’re not 50 yet.” So, yeah, I guess I was pretty unhealthy a few years ago. No, the way that I know I’m an old guy is that I actually felt sad when I just searched an found out there would be no halftime show.

More of the same – I hope for a good game out of Ohio State. Who knows? Maybe Justin Fields can take them on his shoulders again for the win. It will be tough with his injury. So, I fear that eventually Alabama’s talent will take over and they’ll roll.

The Verdict

The CFP National Championship 2021 comes with quite a bit less fanfare than previous years. COVID has just made everything not as fun this year. I will still watch the game. And, I will try to enjoy it. But, I just have a feeling that I will tune out in disgust or boredom at halftime. Hopefully, by next year, things will be approaching pre-COVID normal.

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Best of the NFC 2020 Midseason

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Introduction

Only because we have to, here is our best of the NFC 2020 Midseason. As mentioned in the previous article, we aren’t exactly at the halfway point. Some teams have played nine games. There’s no undefeated team in the NFC to defer to like the Steelers. Plus, I don’t have any NFC team this year that has me psyched. Therefore, we do this out of obligation.

Love, too, of course. Always love.

I don’t mean to say that there aren’t good things in the NFC. It’s just that the bad is so bad (and consequently in the east, so where I start this article) that I don’t even want to face it. I joked earlier in the year that the NFL should move the AFC South to Europe when they expand. With the way the NFC East is playing this year, maybe we should move them into the Atlantic Ocean. With that, how about that Best of the NFC 2020 midseason!

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles (3-4-1): That is not a typo. The Eagles are in first place with a sub 500 record. If I had done this a few weeks ago, the leader of the division only had 2 wins. I told you. Putrid. The best for the Eagles this year is it’s only been 2 years since they won the Super Bowl, so maybe that glow is still a bit shiny.

Washington Football Team (2-6): Yes, I will bang this drum until it snaps. The best thing about the Washington Football Team is that they are no longer nicknamed an offensive term. In true Dan Snyder douche fashion, though, they haven’t picked a new nickname and are only known as the football team. What a dumb ass.

Dallas Cowboys (2-7): I’m struggling here. The Pokes had deulsions of grandeur before the season. Those shattered spectacularly in the first game and then again when Dak went down. I guess the best thing is that their 4th string QB held his own against the Steelers. *shrug*

New York Giants (2-7): The best thing about this is that I’m done with this terrible division. On to better things.

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks (6-2): I considered calling the Seahawks my NFC team because they’ve been probably the most consistent team in the first half of the season. Sure, they’ve had some bumps in the road, but that’s to be expected. I really want a Seattle/KC Super Bowl. Also, DK Metcalf is a stone cold stud.

Arizona Cardinals (5-3): The best thing about the Cardinals is that they’ve avoided the Covid surge in their state. Seriously, though, how can you say anything other than Kyler Effing Murray. I thought he might be too short to succeed in the NFL. Shows how much I know.

Los Angeles Rams (5-3): I mean, the best thing is that if they can figure out a way to beat the Seahawks, they’ll technically be in first place. The Rams are just another of those faceless teams that could disappear tomorrow and nobody would mourn them.

San Francisco 49ers (4-5): Having suffered a bit of a curse because of their treatment of Colin Kaepernick, the good news is that it seems as if Kaep doesn’t want to play. So, the best thing is that the effects of the curse are minor and localized to selling yourself into salcap hell for a Super bowl loss last year.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers (6-2): I almost coronated the Packers as my NFC team, too. I’ve always liked Rodgers. He’s a more palatable anti-Brady than the Manning Brothers ever were. If Seattle doesn’t play in the Super Bowl, I want it to be these guys.

Chicago Bears (5-3): The best for these guys is that the pact they made with the devil or whatever voodoo magic they weaved at the beginning of the season only demanded the benching of Trubisky. This team stinks and yet, they’re in the hunt for the playoffs. I just hope Mitch gets another shot with a real coach.

Minnesota Vikings (3-5): I hate going to a well too often, but the only thing I got for the Vikings is at least they’re not the Lions. Remember when I said that the Rams were faceless? At least I can name their QB and coach off the top of my head. Not so for the Vikings.

Detroit Lions (3-5): After several years of doing this, I finally remembered that Matthew Stafford is their quarterback. That’s gotta be worth something. No? Well, then, I got nothing.

NFC South

New Orleans Saints (6-2): Speaking of voodoo magic, how the hell are the Aints in first place with noodle arm Drew Brees under center? Plus, there’s that whole controversy about him speaking out about gay rights or something? I could Google it, but I’m feeling lazy right now. Just know that I’m firmly on the Taysom Hill bandwagon.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3): You expect me to say Tom Brady. I expect me to say Tom Brady. After week 1, it didn’t look like I would say Tom Brady. After this most recent game, it might seem silly if I said Tom Brady. Seriously, though, how can I say anything but Tom Brady?

Atlanta Falcons (3-6): How do you come up with a best for Atlanta ever since their Super Bowl loss to the Patriots a couple of years ago? It has just been one nightmare after another for this team. Whatever voodoo magic they used has not ultimately paid off.

Carolina Panthers (3-6): I mean, Cam Newton is in New England stinking up the joint. That gave Teddy Bridgewater a chance to start. I wouldn’t say that’s be great, but it is probably the best thing to happen to the team. At least the future looks bright.

The Verdict

NFC 2020 midseason isn’t as much fun as the AFC was in my opinion. First off, you have the worst division in football in the NFC East. Secondly, I can’t distinguish between about a half a dozen of these teams. Third, there’s only about 2 or 3 teams that I’d actively root for as a non fan. There’s just not enough here to say that the NFC 2020 midseason report is the best of the two.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Best of the AFC 2020 Midseason

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Introduction

I realize it isn’t exactly the AFC 2020 midseason. Some teams, including the Colts and Titans after last night, have played 9 games. However, the team of my childhood (and the surprising favorite team of a colleague I recently learned) the Steelers, have only played 8. While I take no joy necessarily in the fact that they’re undefeated, they are. We should show deference to that perfection.

Tried to find a humorous image using the search term “imperfectly perfect” and it was just a bunch of motivational crap. Nobody has time for that.

And, so that is how we have arrived at the “midseason” report for the AFC this year. For the quarter report, we did “awards”. This time around, because we like to focus on the positive, I’m going to do the best of the first half of the year for each team. I thought about doing best and worse, but (a) that’s twice as much work and (b) focus on the positive! So, let’s discuss the best of the AFC 2020 Midseason.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (7-2): The best thing to happen to the Bills this year has got to be that Josh Allen finally seems to be rounding into form as a decent to good quarterback. He’s still not a top tier quarterback even though I might have him in my top 10 at this point. That’s actually an intriguing couple of questions. Maybe I’ll answer them before the end of the year.

Miami Dolphins (5-3): Anyone who has followed this page for any period of time knows exactly what I’m going to say here. Granted, it has only been two games and he wasn’t great in one of them, but Tua Tagovaiola has been my man crush since his first appearance at Alabama.

New England Patriots (3-5): I guess in a year where everything seems to be going sideways for the Pats, the best thing for them is that they aren’t “Eff the Pats” this year. I’m sure they appreciate it. The thing is, I don’t hate Brady without the Pats and I feel sorry for the Pats without Brady. It was just an unholy alliance I couldn’t allow to exist.

New York Jets (0-9): I mean, what can I say about the Jets? At least they have an inside track at Trevor Lawrence. Though, what does that mean now that the guy has had Covid-19? We’ve seen that might have lingering effects. I suppose that it is fitting that I’m having trouble spinning an 0-9 record into a positive.

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs (8-1): You might expect me to say Mahomes here. And, with reason because I considered it. After all, last year he became my main NFL man crush. But, the fact of the matter is…well, the fact of the matter is that I’m saying Mahomes is the best thing that has happened to the Chiefs this year and maybe ever.

Las Vegas Raiders (5-3): I didn’t want the Raiders to move. The Raiders are, and always will be, from Oakland. However, I’d be lying if I said anything other than “Vegas Baby!” when discussing the best for this team. It’s just perfect that there are now two teams in the gambling capital of America. It really puts a dent in the whole sports is about comradery and competition.

Denver Broncos (3-5): Denver is rapidly approaching the territory that Seattle occupied briefly a few years ago. If someone doesn’t remind me periodically of their existence, I forget. I guess the best thing I can say about them is that at least they have this year to avoid being the fourth place team in the division. Because, next year, Herbert is going to blow up and propel San Diego ahead of them.

San Diego (I know, LA, but eff that) Chargers (2-6): The Chargers don’t deserve Justin Herbert. But, they have him. And, like Mahomes, he’s the best thing to happen to this team in a long time. Sure, they had Phillip Rivers, but honestly, what kind of a life is that for a football team?

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers (8-0): They are my childhood team. That’s a tough habit to break. However, I drift farther and farther away every year from this team. Perhaps that’s the best thing to happen to them as they are 8-0 this year. I refuse to admit their rapey helmetless motorcycle riding QB is great. Their receiving corps thogh.

Baltimore Ravens (6-2): The best thing for this team is that they aren’t the Browns anymore. Can you imagine? Having Baker Mayfield as QB instead of Lamar Jackson? Think about it. Just for a minute, Ravens fans, and tell me I’m wrong.

Cleveland Browns (5-3): I used to like Baker. I rooted for the Browns and tried to use the 538 playoff predictor to get them into the playoffs a couple of years ago. I might still like Baker. But, he’s not the best thing on the Browns this year. Then again, he just might be. I can’t think of anything better. How sad is that?

Cincinatti Bengals (2-5-1): I’d be insane to say anything other than Joe “Mothereffing” Burrow. The kid has lived up to the hype as the number one pick. Sure, the Bengals are in last place in the division and they have two games left against the Steelers and one against the Ravens. They can hang their hat on Burrow being legit and next year being better.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts (6-3): I guess the best thing about the Colts is that they’re tied for first in the division in spite of being in salcap hell because of Andrew Luck’s decision to retire at the beginning of last season. By the way, I still support it 100%. Some things (meaning pretty much anything) are more important than football.

Tennessee Titans (6-3): Having trouble coming up with a best for the Titans. Until the Steelers beat them a few weeks ago, they were also undefeated. Since then, they’ve lost 3 out of 4 including one to the aforementioned Colts. I guess Derrick Henry is a beast.

Houston Texans (2-7): The best thing for the Texans is that they’ve gone back to their annual status of most disappointing team in the AFC. I mean, that’s not really a best, but it is a superlative. Great job, Texans!

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-7): Sure the Jets are winless, but I’m not entirely sure where I was going with that. The fact of the matter is that it is best for both of these teams that American sports don’t have European soccer style relegation.

The Verdict

I’m actually more interested in the conference now that we’ve reached the AFC 2020 midseason. The Chiefs no longer look to be the world beaters. The Steelers are surprisingly playing an effective heel as the only undefeated team. Tua! is winning hearts across Florida. Justin Herbert and Joe Burrow round out the great young QBs in the league. I keep saying to Chris that we seem to be going through another golden age for QBs and I’m here for it.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant 2020 NFC Preview

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Introduction

Yes, in spite of the fact that this 2020 NFC preview is being written after the conclusion of the first week of games, it is still completely ignorant. How can that be possible? Well, I didn’t watch a single game this weekend. Sure, I texted with Chris and checked out a few scores and highlights, but I’ve already forgotten most of that.

Besides, as KG told us, “Anything is possible!”

In my AFC Preview, I said that I hadn’t missed sports. It turns out that’s not entirely true. Between listening to Sal’s podcast last Friday and texting a few times with Chris, I’ve come to the conclusion that I sort of missed football. Obviously not enough to watch any games or get this article out in a timely manner. Nevertheless, I will display my ignorance and finish writing this up. On to the 2020 NFC preview!

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys – Both Sal and his buddy were high on the Cowboys during their NFC preview. Of course, theirs actually came before the season. Then again, they are getting paid to do theirs. I’m actually paying money to do this. Think of that next time you’re concerned with the quality of the page.

New York Giants – I said in my AFC preview that it’s a shame there are no professional football teams in New York. My beloved(?) Steelers then went out and tried their hardest to make the Giants look like one in the first game. Like Bobby Boucher’s mom said, “Foosball is the debil.”

Philadelphia Eagles – I don’t have anything to say about Philly. Well, that’s not true. I have two things to say about Philly, but only one is even remotely related to their football team. One, living in Massachusetts, when I used to tell people that I’m from Pennsylvania, they’d almost universally pose Philly as their guess. Two, I have a friend who was absolutely distraught that they lost to Washington.

Washingon Football Team – I don’t have to write *redacted* anymore. Sponsors, most notably FedEx, finally pressured Dan Snyder to join the 18th century and retire the racist nickname. Snyder, of course, dicked it up an named the team as you see. Yes, that’s the official name of the team this year. I’m kind of happy that he inadvertently gave the team some European flavor by naming it similar to actual futbol teams. Hey, you take the small victories against these pricks.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals – Lamar Jackson, Patrick Mahomes, and Kyler Murray. Poor Larry Fitzgerald played with stiff after stiff and had to drag the corpse of Kurt Warner along just to make it to a Super Bowl. Now that he’s an old guy, he gets Kyler Murray. Sometimes life just isn’t fair, true believers.

Los Angeles Rams – The Rams went from the hot new thing to hot garbage in almost record time. Even in a league that wants to be known for parity, this team boomeranged back into obscurity quickly enough to give us all whiplash.

San Francisco 49ers – Earlier this year, as I was planning (well, not really, and it might even make me sound worse that I planned these disastrous articles) this article, I had to look up who lost to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl. I was a few seconds away from having to Google both teams in the Super Bowl. Football just isn’t a priority anymore. Man, this whole section just revealed me as a fraud.

Seattle Seahawks – Speaking of frauds…not really, I just usually use those awkward moments as opportunities to segue into something less uncomfortable. I suppose I have by moving onto Seattle. Then again, all I have to say about Seattle is that I’m a Sounders fan and they won the MLS title last year. Go Seahawks!

NFC North

Chicago Bears – I know the name of an actual player on the Bears. Mitch Trubisky. Also, I know Khalil Mack is still on the team. So, that’s two players. Slowly digging my way out from under the pile of awkward.

Detroit Lions – So, I had my yearly, “Matt Stafford is still starting for the Lions?” realization. Seriously, it’s tradition like Halloween or Christmas at this year. I just hope that when it isn’t happening all the time, I will give it the proper somber remembrance it deserves.

Green Bay Packers – Somehow, Green Bay went 13-3 last year with little to no fanfare. Every time I hear that statistic, I am shocked anew. Seriously, if you had asked me what Green Bay’s record was, I’d have said 9-7. You might be able to talk me into 10-6. But, 13-3? That’s wild, Man.

Minnesota Vikings – Kirk Cousins in their quarterback. Hey, actual football knowledge! But, I’m about to sabotage even that much. I only know who their quarterback is because of some random dude I started following on Instagram when I first tried to promote the page that way. So, I guess I’m saying I don’t have much hope for the Vikes this year.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons – Atlanta is one of the weirdest teams in recent history. They have a great QB, a great WR, a serviceable RB usually, and a defense that should allow them to contend. They were just in the Super Bowl a few years ago. And yet, they usually stink on ice. Now that I’ve said that, they’ll probably win the Super Bowl this year.

Carolina Panthers – Cam is with the Pats this year. That is literally the extent of my Panthers knowledge. That can’t be good in a division that has Drew Brees, Matt Ryan, and now Tom Brady. Okay, I felt sorry for the Panthers, so I looked up their QB. Teddy B. I mean, he’s not bad, but I certainly wouldn’t put him in the same tier as those other guys.

New Orleans Saints – Some people are picking them to win the Super Bowl. I’m not falling into that trap again. This team is snake bitten. They’ll be great in the regular season and then some voodoo curse will knock them out of the NFC Championship. I suppose that’s fitting for a team from New Orleans.

The Verdict (The 2020 NFC Preview doesn’t have me as excited for the season as the AFC)

It’s two weeks late, but the 2 Guys Gaming Completely Ignorant 2020 NFC Preview is finally here. I will say that the NFC doesn’t have me as interested as the AFC. Sure, it’ll be neat to see what Tom Terrific does in Tampa. And, that might be the only story line I care about over there in the NFC. Oh, watching the Cowboys crash and burn and hearing Sad Sal every week might be cool.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Quarantine Draft: NFC Edition

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Introduction

It’s the Quarantine Draft: NFC Edition! This week has been a bit weird for us here at 2GG. I’m not sure entirely why, but I haven’t been as motivated this week to get things done. It’s weird because I’ve been “off” from school for the last three days. So, it should be easy to just write two stupid articles “analyzing” the draft that happened last weekend.

Instead, I’ve been playing Minecraft with Quinn, running two kids to Urgent Care (everything is fine), and finalizing my first written D&D campaign. I mean, it’s time well spent, but I’ve been trying to keep momentum going on the web page, but that’s been neglected. Oh well, I’ve still been able to get these articles out, even if they weren’t Plan A and aren’t very good.

Sometimes you just gotta say f**k it.

In fact, I just said “F**k it” all day today and played D3 instead of writing this article. Then, I spent some time with my family. Again, time well spent, but the web page is suffering a bit this week. Oh well, There’s always next week to get back on track. For now, let’s quarantine ourselves with some NFC draft picks

AFC East

Dallas Cowboys – As I was writing this one, I had a lot of 1s and even a couple of 0s. Thinking I might already be tired of this shtick. Thankfully, this is the last one of these I have to write for at least a year. Either way, I gave them a 3 (see the previous article for the scale), because I want to get CeeDee Lamb drunk and see what’s on his phone that he wouldn’t let his girlfriend scroll through.

New York Giants – I give them a 4. I don’t even think I looked at their draft picks. I just want to stand in solidarity with their GM for wearing a mask to a quarantine draft. In a country where everything is political, I’m not sure why I’m surprised that wearing masks has become an issue, but I am. Goodness gracious.

Philadelphia Eagles – Man, the AFC did things right. In a draft of 1s and 2, every one of the teams is a 3 or 4. This time, I ranked Philly high because they took Jalen Hurts. I wasn’t a fan of Hurts necessarily. In fact, as you might know, I was on the Bama Evil Empire train until Tua took over for Hurts and led them to a National Championship, But, Hurts seems like a good kid and took it all in stride. That gets kudos from me.

Washington *redacted* – ESPN might have caved to pressure, but I refuse. They complain about not being able to say a racist nickname and storm state capitals with weapons, but I’m the snowflake? Sure, okay. In any case, they took Chase Young and he seems like he’d be fun to hang out with. They get a 3.

NFC North

Chicago Bears – I gave them a 1, only because I kind of want to Face Time the GM and tell him that 2000 called and they want their first round big TE pick back. I mean, it might work out okay. In general, having a hulking receiver will work out okay, but that’s certainly not the way that NFL offenses are trending.

Detroit Lions – Another 1. And I have nothing to really say about the Lions either, so let me tell you a story about the Cowboys. I just had to look up which division they played in. I’m a bit worried, folks, about my mental decline during this non-quarantine quarantine.

Green Bay Packers – The NFC North is starting to become like the AFC South. I probably could just send all of these teams to London to restart NFL Europe. I have little use for any of them.

Minnesota Vikings – And after saying that, I now have to admit that I gave the Vikings a 4. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. I just saw that they had about a dozen draft picks. Surely, one or two of them has to be worth hanging out with.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons – Jeez. I must miss baseball. I almost typed in the Braves for the Falcons. Whatever. Either way, they get a 1. After the last couple of years, I’m kind of done with the Falcons. Can we relegate them?

Carolina Panthers – I gave them a 2. That might be generous. I’m not sure. All I know is I could be convinced to bump that to a 3. They drafted two guys with hyphenated names. I mean, that’s not something you see every year in the draft.

New Orleans Saints – All I put in my notes is 0. I suppose that I wasn’t impressed. Moving on. Guess, I should say something nice. I want to visit New Orleans.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – I give their draft a zero, but to be a fly on the wall of the locker room next year. As you no doubt know, Tampa Bay made some of the biggest waves (at least in terms of headlines) by signing both Brady and Gronkenstein.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals – They get a 1. Moving on. No, I’m not going to say something nice. If you’ve surmised that I am sick of this shtick, then you’d be correct.

Los Angeles Rams – I have no use for the current Rams team, but I gave their draft class a 3 on quarantine hang out potential. All I wrote was Akers and Miami (OH) in my notes. I still remember when I discovered there was a Miami University in Ohio and they still screw me up on the scrawl sometimes when I don’t read closely enough.

San Francisco 49ers – They get a 0, too. Hey, at least they were runners up in the SB last year. I’m just trying to sound current with that “nice” comment. I actually had to look up who played the Chiefs in this (I almost wrote last, that’s how long this year has felt) year’s Super Bowl.

Seattle Seahawks – I put a 2, and just the word Sounders in the notes. I’m not sure if that means that I could go either way on the draft class and wanted to mention the Sounders winning the championship again. Or, if I’d pretend to want to quarantine with them and then go to the Sounders instead. Now that I see it typed, I think it is the latter.

The Verdict

Unlike the AFC Edition, Quarantine Draft: NFC Edition isn’t as entertaining. Sure, the Buccaneers got Brady, but by this time, Chris is numb to the fact that Brady is gone. In face, he’s actually been talking the last two years that they should have planned for Brady leaving. He even advocated letting Brady go. Still, it’ll be fun to see how the season plays out, if it does. I mean, Supreme Leader says it’ll happen and when has he ever lied or been wrong?

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Quarantine Draft: AFC Edition

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Introduction

Welcome to my Quarantine Draft: AFC Edition. To be perfectly honest, this week was going to be dedicated to Doom because the new Doom game just came out, but that felt like too many weeks of relevant and current gaming content in a row. I am putting Doom off until June when I’ll have more time to record videos of game play.

Another truth: I forgot the draft was happening. I mean, I’ve been off and on with the NFL lately (more on than off last year because my man Mahomes and his boys beat someone in the Super Bowl) for almost a decade now, so that shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Nevertheless, Chris texted me a few times about it because he’s frustrated by Belichick’s post Tom Brady plans so far. I figured, why not do an article about the draft. It’s been a while since we’ve done sports…well, anywhere.

I suppose I told two truths, so now time for a lie? Nah I won’t do that to you. Instead, I’ll finally get to the introduction portion of the article. The basis of this article is a 0-4 scale on how much I’d like to be quarantined with the team’s draft class. 0 – Unlikely, 1 – Not Very Likely, 2 – Neither Likely nor Unlikely, 3 – Very Likely, 4 – Extremely Likely. Yes, I understand that gives me a “middle ground” cop out option of 2, but I only utilized it 4 times out of the 16 AFC teams and I might change them as I rewrite and edit here.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills – Chris was so dejected when the Bills took Fromm instead of the Patriots getting him. I’m not sure if that was the last straw or if it was Eason, but he’s really down on Belichick right now. I told him, “I’ll get my kicks in while I can because they’ll probably win the AFC East again.” What does that have to do with the bills? Nothing, but I’d like to hang out with Fromm, Dane Jackson is from Pittsburgh (my original hometown), and Gabriel Davis is from UCF, which is my adopted team ever since they crowned themselves. These guys get a 3.

Miami Dolphins – This is where Chris’s spiral started last week. The Dolphins took my new man crush, Tua, after he confidently texted me that he was probably going to the Patriots. Nuff said, as far as I’m concerned. Tua alone makes this one a 4.

New England Patriots – 0, Eff the Pats.

New York Jets – I gave them a 1. The only reason I went 1 instead of 0 is because they took an offensive lineman with their first pick. I will forever remember them as the “butt fumble” team, so that just struck me as funny. I’m sure it would get old for him pretty quickly, so their answer for me would probably be a 0.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens – I gave them a 1. I didn’t read beyond their first pick and that LJ called him the next Ray Lewis. I don’t need to be getting murdered before Covid-19 can get me. We got old jokes for days here at 2GG!

Cincinnati Bengals – Joe Burrow gets this to a 3. He seems like a chill dude and he played for LSU. Louisiana is, rightly or wrongly, like party city in my head. They also took an OLB from Appalachian State. I would want to ask him if they still talk about the time they beat Michigan. But, that doesn’t quite push it to a 4. I could live without the answer.

Cleveland Browns – While I’d probably give their actual team a 4, this draft class doesn’t do much for me. I gave them a 1 because I’d hope during the quarantine that maybe some of the guys like Baker and OBJ would break quarantine and come hang out with us.

Pittsburgh Steelers – My only notes for my childhood team are 2 – Eh. I guess that means I’m not impressed. I do like that they took a WR in the first round. It means that I won’t have to listen to Simmons and Sal wonder how the Steelers keep getting lucky with their late round WR picks. However, a 2 is almost more damning than a 0. It just means I don’t care that much to actually give it a rating.

AFC South

Houston Texans – They get a 0. They will forever and always get a 0. Other than Deshaun Watson, the entire team can be sold to Mexico to help pay down the national debt. You thought I was going to make another political joke, didn’t you? Well, not here.

Indianapolis Colts – Initially, I put a 2, but I’m going to bump it up to a 3. The Dolphins took Tua, Buffalo took Fromm, and the non divisional rival took Eason to complete the torture of Chris. Add to it that they took a player from my alma mater and, yeah, a 3 is probably apropros.

Jacksonville Jaguars – Like the Texans, we can get rid of the Jags. Other than the year that I won my fantasy football league with Blake Bortles as my quarterback (thus starting my UCF fandom), I sometimes forget that the Jags exist. So, how much traction am I going to try to get out of this Blake Bortles story? Well, do you have a better one? They get a 1 because they drafted a guy named Shaquille.

Tennessee Titans – Jesus, can we just get rid of the AFC South already? I couldn’t even remember what this stupid teams name was. I wanted to say Tuxedos? Whatever, they drafted a guy from Hawai’i. I don’t know the rules of this quarantine, but if I got to spend a month in Hawai’i, I’d be okay with that.

AFC West

Denver Broncos – They’re a 2, leaning to 3. They got Jerry Jeudy and a guy named Cleveland. I could ask him how he feels playing for the…oh, never mind. It’s a solid 2. But, Jeudy will be fun to watch next year.

Kansas City Chiefs – Helaire by himself is a 3. I didn’t see any other names on the list. But, just to be able to play against the guy in Madden with himself on the Chiefs to see if they could possibly go undefeated next year would be a fun exercise.

Los Angeles Chargers – Holy cow. I might have forgotten the Tuxedos names, but I forgot the Chargers were a team. Twice. The first time, I had to come back to add this section. Then, I nearly called them the Clippers. I was going to give them a 2 because I thought their QB’s name was Hebert, but it’s Herbert. So, they’re demoted to a 0.

Las Vegas Raiders – I’m not even sure that I looked at their draft picks, but the Raiders are in Vegas, baby! Similar to my wish to spend quarantine in Hawai’i, why not Vegas? It’s warm, there’s plenty of entertainment (except the casinos shut down), and it’s warm. Eff this New England spring. They get a 3.

The Verdict

Even though I forgot about it, the Quarantine Draft: AFC Edition was entertaining to watch. By that, I mean it was fun to watch Chris slowly lose his mind as Belichick passed over QB after QB in favor of, in the immortal words of one of his last texts, “They took a kicker!” Aside from that, I didn’t pay as much attention to college football the last couple of years, so I didn’t know as many of the players. Here’s hoping that Covid-19 allows us to watch football in the fall.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).