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NFC First Quarter 2020 Year in Review

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Introduction

Time for the NFC first quarter 2020 year in review! After some trouble updating the page on a regular basis, it looks like I might actually get content posted two days in a row. It is also somewhat timely content again. Yesterday, I got the AFC version posted. I promised to have the NFC version posted today. Got some grading done earlier, so I don’t feel guilty about school work right now.

I think I speak for a lot of teachers when I say that it’s my least favorite part of teaching.

I do have some yard work to do. Plus, my neighbor is helpfully actually doing his so that I feel more guilty about it than I normally would. Yay for living in a society. However, it hasn’t made me feel guilty enough yet to actually do the work. Heck, I have until tomorrow since I have the day off from school.

But, I have a paper to write for grad class and more grading to do for school. Also, I have my own deadline for the Spawn review to keep the momentum of the page going. If I had to guess, that’s going to get put on the back burner, but maybe I’ll actually get around to the yardwork today and writing some of the paper, too. Sorry, thinking out loud on paper. Let’s ignore all of that for now and talk about the NFC first quarter 2020.

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles (1-2-1): We’re #1! By default, but still Award. Some pundits thought that the Cowboys might have an actual decent to possibly good team this year. I might have heard that they were being considered as Super Bowl contenders. Well, that obviously hasn’t happened. The East might just give us a sub 500 division winner. That’s fitting for this stupid year.

Washington Football Team (1-3): Dan Snyder is a Huge Dick Award. Daniel Snyder finally capitulated to the snowflake justice warriors at FedEx and retired the racist nickname for his team. In true Snyder fashion, he thumbed his nose by refusing to pick another mascot and just called them “Football Team” for this year. What a dick.

Dallas Cowboys (1-3): We are overrated and NFL talking heads are overpaid Award. I already talked about the Cowboys in the Eagles section. Since they don’t really warrant any more discussion, I will crap on the NFL talking heads again. Yes, you might be able to make the argument that I’m jealous. That doesn’t take away from the fact that the economy surrounding sports is completely broken.

New York Giants (0-4): Shame There’s no Professional Football Team in New York Award. These guys are cowinners of this award. Heck, now that Barkley is hurt, what possible reason do either the Jets or the Giants have for continuing this season?

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks (4-0): There’s A Football Team in Seattle? Award. This is a reference to a conversation I had several years ago when I was working at Yankee Candle. A coworker said something about the football team in Seattle and I replied, truly confused, “There’s a football team in Seattle?”

Los Angeles Rams (3-1): I Thought These Guys Were Exposed as Frauds Award. After a stellar start as coach, it looked like the league might have figured out that Sean McVay basically only had one formation in his playbook. A 3-1 start doesn’t necessarily reverse that, but they are in good shape right now.

Arizona Cardinals (2-2): Kyler Murray isn’t Quite the Second Coming of Mahomes Yet Award. Everyone got very excited about Kyler Murray this year. They thought that he might have ascended into Mahomes territory. Heck, I even fell for it, texting Chris if I should take Murray or Wilson as my QB in daily fantasy. Thankfully, he set me straight and told me to take Wilson.

San Francisco 49ers (2-2): Ghost of Colin Kaepernick Award. They’re not 0-4, which would make this a better storyline. However, they did blow a lead in last year’s Super Bowl and Jimmy G is developing quite the injury history. Maybe, just maybe, they will face justice for their treatment of Kaep.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers (4-0): Father Time is Undefeated? Award. We are told that in the Father Time is undefeated. It looked like that might have finally been the case last year for Tom Brady. It’s not like he’s tearing it up this year, but he was having a bit of a resurgence. Meanwhile, Rodgers just keeps slinging it without any sign of slow down.

Chicago Bears (5-1): The King is Dead. Long Live the King Award. I made a comment in the Bills section at Mitch Trubisky’s expense. It’s a shame because I was really rooting for old Mitch to finally figure it out. He didn’t and now they’ve moved on to Nick Foles. Foles has proven time and again that he is the perfect short term stop gap, so it’s not all bad in Chicago this year.

Minnesota Vikings (1-3): If He Dies, He Dies Award. While discussing the impact of Covid19 on the league, Kirk Cousins said something along those lines. Does Kirk Cousins really have the clout to be going on so about such issues? What I mean to say is, other than his family, would anyone mourn Kirk Cousins? I know that got dark and I apologize. But, am I wrong?

Detroit Lions (1-3): Matthew Stafford is still in the League? Award. I’m pretty sure I already made my annual Matt Stafford joke. But, the fact that I literally just had to Google to see if his name was, in fact, Matt Stafford says a lot about his status. The only question now is who will take his place when he finally does retire?

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2): TB Are Now His Initials and Those of His Team Award. Tom Terrific took his travelling side show down south for this year. I’ve been having fun trolling the Pats fans on my Facebook feed because they were convinced after week 1 that TB would end up 0-16 and they’d be able to gloat over it. Not so fast, folks.

New Orleans Saints (2-2): Drew Brees is Surprisingly Bigoted Award. I’ve always liked Brees. He’s a short guy who is excelling at a job that short guys don’t often excel. But, then this whole focus on the family crap came out and I just can’t root for him anymore. I’m glad the Saints are struggling this year.

Carolina Panthers (2-2): Sweet Caroline Award. There’s no reason for this title other than the obvious dad joke pun. The Panthers have made absolutely no impact on me whatsoever this year. They are just part of the amorphous blob that is the NFL in the South. Maybe we should do a trial run of this separated states of America by allowing the South to secede from the NFL.

Atlanta Falcons (0-4): How Many Ways Can We Blow A Lead? Award. I’m not sure what bad juju the Falcons unleased. However, they’ve been cursed ever since taking a 28-3 lead on the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years ago. They’ve since dialed it up to 11 this year. They’ll be fun to watch simply for the train wreck possibility.

The Verdict (NFC First Quarter 2020 has been entertaining so far)

While I’m not sold on the AFC yet this year (other than the Chiefs), I like what I’ve seen in the NFC. Things are a bit crazy. Even the bad teams are fun to watch. The worst division in football is the NFC East, which is fitting because they were pumped up for so long as the best simply because of the legacy of teams. The Racists are no longer going by that name. All in all, it’s been an entertaining NFC first quarter 2020 and I can’t wait to see how it plays out going forward.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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AFC First Quarter 2020 Year In Review

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Introduction

Welcome to the AFC first quarter 2020 year in review! I promise to be back to nerd content next week when I finally give my reviews for comics from last month and this month. Yes, unfortunately comics got the short end of the stick due to my decline in free time because school is kicking my butt so far this year.

Kink shaming aside, this is what it feels like.

So, until we get back to the nerd content next week, I will go through the weird start to the NFL season. In reality, with how weird 2020 has been, it could have been predicted that the NFL season would be weird, as well. And, honestly, it’s not like it has been that much more weird than some of the more recent seasons. In any case, let’s talk about the AFC first quarter 2020.

Note: As you will discover, I’m going to format this as an awards ceremony. I got the half baked idea yesterday afternoon while driving home and listening to Simmons and Sal. That’s where most of my half baked ideas seem to happen.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (4-0): This is what Trubisky Should Have Been Award. Chris and I were texting about the Bills last week. He’s bitter because the Pats have had to play with the corpse of Brian Hoyer and unknown quantity Jarrett Stidham during Cam’s quarantine. Meanwhile, it looks like Josh Allen has finally turned the corner and they have Matt Barkley and Jake Fromm as insurance. It really is an embarrassment of riches right now for the Buffalos.

New England Patriots (2-2): We’ve Been Good So Long That We Don’t Know How to Handle Mediocrity Award. This one goes out to the fans. Not the fans fans. Both my father in law and Chris are reasonable fans who have been willing to admit that TB12 and “In Bill We Trust” are idiotic concepts. I’m talking about Sully and Bawls who regularly call into radio shows and post status updates after the first week about what a mistake Brady made by moving to a warmer climate and potentially better team.

Miami Dolphins (1-3): Where’s Tua? Award. Regular readers of the page know that I’ve had a man crush on Tua since his first appearance at Alabama. I’ve literally watched his legend grow over the years. I don’t understand why Miami is sticking with Fitzpatrick. Maybe they are just waiting for the inevitable magic to run out. Perhaps they’re skittish because of Tua’s injury history. Either way, I hope we see him soon.

New York Jets (0-4): Shame There’s no Professional Football Team in New York Award. I know next to nothing about the Jets. Have they even been relevant since the “Butt Fumble”? I promise that wasn’t just a reason to say “Butt Fumble”. Okay, it actually was. BRB, I’m going to Google “Butt Fumble”.

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs (4-0): Can We Just Give Them The Trophy Now? Award. Okay, that was fun. Side note: “Butt Fumble” seems to have taken on an NSFW side meaning. Don’t indiscriminately Google “Butt Fumble”. As far as the Chiefs, I know that things can happen, especially in 2020. However, in the old world, the Chiefs would be the juggernaut that nobody else can touch. How do you beat them unless they just get bored and start playing 7 on 11 or something. Hell, with Mahomes, they might still beat some teams.

Vegas Raiders (2-2): Who Still Calls them Oakland Raiders? Award. I’m actually surprised that I didn’t call them that on accident. Hell, I still call them the San Diego Chargers sometimes. I just think it’s awesome that sports leagues are avoiding all pretense of being legitimate competition and embracing their status as simply a front for gambling.

Denver Broncos (1-3): Was Larry Testaverde Busy? Award. I stold that joke from Sal. Deal with it. Maybe it will get me some exposure. It hasn’t worked so far, but only a matter of time, right? I mean, they started Brett Rypien in an NFL game. I mean, I had to look that up. All I knew is that he had the same last name as a mediocre NFL quarterback from the 1980s.

San Diego Chargers (1-3): I Always Liked Phil Rivers–Wait, What? Award. So, Phillip Rivers is no longer on the team. I think in my NFL preview, I made a Phillip Rivers joke as the Chargers preview. Oh, that wasn’t intentional. Even after having just talked about it, I still wrote the San Diego Chargers. 32 teams is far too many to keep track of every year.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers (3-0): It’s Not Our Fault the Titans Had a Covid19 Outbreak Award. That was the empathetic response by one of the Steelers when they postponed the game and moved it to a common bye week later in the season. This team is making it more and more difficult to remain a fan.

Baltimore Ravens (3-1): Am I a Ravens Fan? Award. Having grown up a Steelers fan, this is a weird time for me. As mentioned earlier, I find that there are more and more reasons to dislike that team. By the same token, Lamar Jackson is another fun player to watch. I think I might be rooting for the Ravens more than the Steelers at this point.

Cleveland Browns (3-1): How The Hell is Cleveland 3-1? Award. Look, I have been one of the biggest Baker Backers. However, even I am willing to admit that the guy stinks on ice. He’s just not a good quarterback. He has OBJ for crying out loud and he threw for 165 yards last week. OBJ should be good for at least that many yards a week.

Cincinnati Bengals (1-2-1): Get Him A Body Bag! Award. My wife and I finished season 2 of Cobra Kai last week. Now we have to wait a few months for season 3 to release. How does that relate to the Bengals? Joe Burrow is going to end up in the hospital before the end of the year. They might need to bench him just for his own safety, especially against the Ravens and Steelers.

AFC South

Tennessee Titans (3-0): Maybe We Can Use Coronavirus to End the Season Undefeated Award. The Titans have already had one game postponed due to an outbreak. Every day, they seem to have more and more players test positive. What if they just call off the rest of their season and finish 3-0? What a fitting end to 2020 that would be.

Indianapolis Colts (3-1): How Did Phil Rivers End Up Here? Award. When I learned that Phillip Rivers was no longer in San Diego (or Los Angeles for that matter), I assumed that he retired to spend more time with his wife and 9 kids. Then again, now that I read that last sentence again, I can understand completely why he would not do that.

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-3): The Blake Bortles Memorial Award. Fear not fellow Bortles Believers. He’s not dead. Apparently, he’s on the Broncos, so he might even get a chance to start at some point in the season. It’s just that Leonard Fournette said something along the lines of having never played with a good quarterback when he signed with Tampa Bay. Like our man Bortles never handed off the ball to him. For shame, Leonard. For shame.

Houston Texans (0-4): Well, it was a Good Run Award. After being everyone’s it team for seemingly a decade only to implode every season, the Texans actually had a bit of a decent run last year. That seems to all be over so far this year. Thank goodness. It will make it that much easier to send this division to Europe when the NFL expands in a few years.

The Verdict (AFC first quarter 2020 has been fine)

The AFC first quarter 2020 hasn’t been much to write home about. I came into the season not really all that excited about football. Texting with Chris got me slightly more interested. I’m back to the point where I’ll check out a game or two for a couple of minutes each week and I am doing daily fantasy (20 bucks won a couple weeks ago!). So, it’s kept my interest somewhat. But, right now the Chiefs just look like they’re unbeatable and I don’t even have the fun of hating the Pats this year. Thanks for reading my AFC first quarter 2020 preview and join me tomorrow for the NFC.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant 2020 AFC Preview

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Introduction

Welcome to our completely ignorant 2020 AFC preview. This year’s edition is not just a clever (?) gimmick. A couple of days ago, Chris texted me, “I forgot that the season started yesterday.” I replied, “I actually forgot that the NFL existed until I saw people whining on the internet about kneeling.”

Chris hit right at my weak spot and said, “I’m just happy to see Mahomes picking up where he left off.”

That isn’t an exaggeration. My friend Craig often said, “I’m worried that people will realize just how much they haven’t missed due to this pandemic.” One of those things that I haven’t missed is sports. I thought that I might have a problem with no sports, but I haven’t watched a single NBA, MLB, or NHL game since they returned. I did keep an eye on the MLS tournament, but couldn’t tell you who won or who they beat.

Therefore, without further ado (and armed with limited information), join me for my completely ignorant 2020 AFC preview. Oh, it’s also the first Sunday of the season and one game has already been played. By the time I have posted both this and the NFC preview, week 1 will most certainly be completely done.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills – The Bills became my darling team last year. I even had delusions of them possibly knocking the Pats off of their perch as the best team in the division. That didn’t happen and then they laid an egg in the playoffs against the Texans. Maybe this year is the year.

Miami Dolphins – I have nothing to say about the Dolphins. I suppose, that simply by virtue of mathematics, there have to be teams with losing records. It just feels like a league that promotes parity as much as the NFL does shouldn’t have teams that are as bad as the Dolphins have been for the last decade or so.

New England Patriots – This is usually where I say, “Eff the Pats”. It’s not that I don’t still believe that. It’s just that they’re much less offensive without the Golden Boy under center. Cam Newton taking over pushes the needle even more. This season is going to be confusing.

New York Jets – It’s a shame there are no professional football teams in New York right now.

AFC West

Denver Broncos – I mean, one of these teams has to finish second in the division behind KC. With Von Miller out, it’s hard to think of Denver as anything other than also rans.

Kansas City Chiefs – The Chefs have my current man crush on the team. They made two epic comebacks in the playoffs last year against the Texans and the 49ers (another true story that will cement my status as completely ignorant is that I had to look up who the Chefs played in the Super Bowl in January) to win the Super Bowl and there’s really no reason that they can’t repeat this year. You might say, “What about a Mahome’s inj–” to which I’d reply, “You shut your whore mouth.”

Las Vegas Raiders – I think I might have had a running gag last year about the Raiders moving to Vegas. Well, they finally did. Remember when I said that they had an ineptitude all their own? Well, instead of using Vegas (like the Golden Knights and giving the Scrabble friendly abbreviation VGK), they’re going with Las Vegas. Remember when these guys were the bad boys of football? If you do, you’re probably old like me and right in the intended demographic for this page.

Los Angeles (Why not San Diego?) Chargers – The Chargers are the worst run franchise in the NFL. That’s saying something with the Raiders being in the same division and quite inept themselves. The only news I care about related to the Chargers is if Phillip Rivers had another kid. Two more and he has a starting XI.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens – I genuinely like Lamar Jackson. So much that I actually found myself rooting for the Ravens. Like I said earlier about the Patriots, this NFL is quite a strange experience for me.

Cincinnati Bengals – I was going to make an Andy Dalton joke. Not wanting to look too ignorant, I Googled Andy Dalton and then the Bengals and saw that Joe Burrow is the quarterback there. If not this year, then soon, I might finally be able to stop feeling sorry for the Bungles and hating them again like every Steelers fan should.

Cleveland Browns – I really want Baker Mayfield to be a good quarterback. Like, really, really want that to happen. He’s not, but I won’t give up the dream. I think I’m just bored of the Steelers-Ravens rivalry being the only storyline in this boring division.

Pittsburgh Steelers – Speaking of the Steelers, I have several times over the last couple of years turned my back on my childhood team. Like I say, I’m just bored of them. Plus, Ben Roethlisberger’s name got dragged into the Stormy Daniels affair and reinforced that the guy is a douche.

AFC South

Houston Texans – I really wanted the Texans to lose to Buffalo. That didn’t happen. Then, I wanted them to beat New England. That did happen. Then, Tom Brady wen to Tampa Bay. That was unexpected. I don’t know. They’ll probably win the division again.

Indianapolis Colts – Last year, Andrew Luck made the decision to protect himself and his mental health by retiring from football. The always supportive NFL fans gave him the benefit of the doubt and allowed him to retire into quiet solitude. Just kidding, they treated him like a leper and called him all sorts of names. Never change, mad sports nerds.

Jacksonville Jaguars – My wife and I have been watching “The Good Place”. I tried to get her to watch it several times. She finally did and she really likes it. What does this have to do with the Jaguars? Well, one of the characters is from Jacksonville and obsessed with Blake Bortles. And, you all know my history with Blake Bortles.

Tennessee Titans – I have a Facebook friend who is a huge fan of the Titans. She’s from Texas and liked them since they were the Oilers and moved. Other than that, I’m an advocate of getting rid of the AFC South.

The Verdict (2020 AFC Preview Wrap Up)

I’m not at all excited for the AFC season. I wasn’t to begin with, but thought that by writing this 2020 AFC Preview that it might make me more excited. Other than Mahomes, there isn’t much here for me to care about. Maybe the anthem protests will persist and I can have fun trolling mad sports nerds on social media.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Quarantine Draft: NFC Edition

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Introduction

It’s the Quarantine Draft: NFC Edition! This week has been a bit weird for us here at 2GG. I’m not sure entirely why, but I haven’t been as motivated this week to get things done. It’s weird because I’ve been “off” from school for the last three days. So, it should be easy to just write two stupid articles “analyzing” the draft that happened last weekend.

Instead, I’ve been playing Minecraft with Quinn, running two kids to Urgent Care (everything is fine), and finalizing my first written D&D campaign. I mean, it’s time well spent, but I’ve been trying to keep momentum going on the web page, but that’s been neglected. Oh well, I’ve still been able to get these articles out, even if they weren’t Plan A and aren’t very good.

Sometimes you just gotta say f**k it.

In fact, I just said “F**k it” all day today and played D3 instead of writing this article. Then, I spent some time with my family. Again, time well spent, but the web page is suffering a bit this week. Oh well, There’s always next week to get back on track. For now, let’s quarantine ourselves with some NFC draft picks

AFC East

Dallas Cowboys – As I was writing this one, I had a lot of 1s and even a couple of 0s. Thinking I might already be tired of this shtick. Thankfully, this is the last one of these I have to write for at least a year. Either way, I gave them a 3 (see the previous article for the scale), because I want to get CeeDee Lamb drunk and see what’s on his phone that he wouldn’t let his girlfriend scroll through.

New York Giants – I give them a 4. I don’t even think I looked at their draft picks. I just want to stand in solidarity with their GM for wearing a mask to a quarantine draft. In a country where everything is political, I’m not sure why I’m surprised that wearing masks has become an issue, but I am. Goodness gracious.

Philadelphia Eagles – Man, the AFC did things right. In a draft of 1s and 2, every one of the teams is a 3 or 4. This time, I ranked Philly high because they took Jalen Hurts. I wasn’t a fan of Hurts necessarily. In fact, as you might know, I was on the Bama Evil Empire train until Tua took over for Hurts and led them to a National Championship, But, Hurts seems like a good kid and took it all in stride. That gets kudos from me.

Washington *redacted* – ESPN might have caved to pressure, but I refuse. They complain about not being able to say a racist nickname and storm state capitals with weapons, but I’m the snowflake? Sure, okay. In any case, they took Chase Young and he seems like he’d be fun to hang out with. They get a 3.

NFC North

Chicago Bears – I gave them a 1, only because I kind of want to Face Time the GM and tell him that 2000 called and they want their first round big TE pick back. I mean, it might work out okay. In general, having a hulking receiver will work out okay, but that’s certainly not the way that NFL offenses are trending.

Detroit Lions – Another 1. And I have nothing to really say about the Lions either, so let me tell you a story about the Cowboys. I just had to look up which division they played in. I’m a bit worried, folks, about my mental decline during this non-quarantine quarantine.

Green Bay Packers – The NFC North is starting to become like the AFC South. I probably could just send all of these teams to London to restart NFL Europe. I have little use for any of them.

Minnesota Vikings – And after saying that, I now have to admit that I gave the Vikings a 4. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. I just saw that they had about a dozen draft picks. Surely, one or two of them has to be worth hanging out with.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons – Jeez. I must miss baseball. I almost typed in the Braves for the Falcons. Whatever. Either way, they get a 1. After the last couple of years, I’m kind of done with the Falcons. Can we relegate them?

Carolina Panthers – I gave them a 2. That might be generous. I’m not sure. All I know is I could be convinced to bump that to a 3. They drafted two guys with hyphenated names. I mean, that’s not something you see every year in the draft.

New Orleans Saints – All I put in my notes is 0. I suppose that I wasn’t impressed. Moving on. Guess, I should say something nice. I want to visit New Orleans.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – I give their draft a zero, but to be a fly on the wall of the locker room next year. As you no doubt know, Tampa Bay made some of the biggest waves (at least in terms of headlines) by signing both Brady and Gronkenstein.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals – They get a 1. Moving on. No, I’m not going to say something nice. If you’ve surmised that I am sick of this shtick, then you’d be correct.

Los Angeles Rams – I have no use for the current Rams team, but I gave their draft class a 3 on quarantine hang out potential. All I wrote was Akers and Miami (OH) in my notes. I still remember when I discovered there was a Miami University in Ohio and they still screw me up on the scrawl sometimes when I don’t read closely enough.

San Francisco 49ers – They get a 0, too. Hey, at least they were runners up in the SB last year. I’m just trying to sound current with that “nice” comment. I actually had to look up who played the Chiefs in this (I almost wrote last, that’s how long this year has felt) year’s Super Bowl.

Seattle Seahawks – I put a 2, and just the word Sounders in the notes. I’m not sure if that means that I could go either way on the draft class and wanted to mention the Sounders winning the championship again. Or, if I’d pretend to want to quarantine with them and then go to the Sounders instead. Now that I see it typed, I think it is the latter.

The Verdict

Unlike the AFC Edition, Quarantine Draft: NFC Edition isn’t as entertaining. Sure, the Buccaneers got Brady, but by this time, Chris is numb to the fact that Brady is gone. In face, he’s actually been talking the last two years that they should have planned for Brady leaving. He even advocated letting Brady go. Still, it’ll be fun to see how the season plays out, if it does. I mean, Supreme Leader says it’ll happen and when has he ever lied or been wrong?

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Quarantine Draft: AFC Edition

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Introduction

Welcome to my Quarantine Draft: AFC Edition. To be perfectly honest, this week was going to be dedicated to Doom because the new Doom game just came out, but that felt like too many weeks of relevant and current gaming content in a row. I am putting Doom off until June when I’ll have more time to record videos of game play.

Another truth: I forgot the draft was happening. I mean, I’ve been off and on with the NFL lately (more on than off last year because my man Mahomes and his boys beat someone in the Super Bowl) for almost a decade now, so that shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Nevertheless, Chris texted me a few times about it because he’s frustrated by Belichick’s post Tom Brady plans so far. I figured, why not do an article about the draft. It’s been a while since we’ve done sports…well, anywhere.

I suppose I told two truths, so now time for a lie? Nah I won’t do that to you. Instead, I’ll finally get to the introduction portion of the article. The basis of this article is a 0-4 scale on how much I’d like to be quarantined with the team’s draft class. 0 – Unlikely, 1 – Not Very Likely, 2 – Neither Likely nor Unlikely, 3 – Very Likely, 4 – Extremely Likely. Yes, I understand that gives me a “middle ground” cop out option of 2, but I only utilized it 4 times out of the 16 AFC teams and I might change them as I rewrite and edit here.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills – Chris was so dejected when the Bills took Fromm instead of the Patriots getting him. I’m not sure if that was the last straw or if it was Eason, but he’s really down on Belichick right now. I told him, “I’ll get my kicks in while I can because they’ll probably win the AFC East again.” What does that have to do with the bills? Nothing, but I’d like to hang out with Fromm, Dane Jackson is from Pittsburgh (my original hometown), and Gabriel Davis is from UCF, which is my adopted team ever since they crowned themselves. These guys get a 3.

Miami Dolphins – This is where Chris’s spiral started last week. The Dolphins took my new man crush, Tua, after he confidently texted me that he was probably going to the Patriots. Nuff said, as far as I’m concerned. Tua alone makes this one a 4.

New England Patriots – 0, Eff the Pats.

New York Jets – I gave them a 1. The only reason I went 1 instead of 0 is because they took an offensive lineman with their first pick. I will forever remember them as the “butt fumble” team, so that just struck me as funny. I’m sure it would get old for him pretty quickly, so their answer for me would probably be a 0.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens – I gave them a 1. I didn’t read beyond their first pick and that LJ called him the next Ray Lewis. I don’t need to be getting murdered before Covid-19 can get me. We got old jokes for days here at 2GG!

Cincinnati Bengals – Joe Burrow gets this to a 3. He seems like a chill dude and he played for LSU. Louisiana is, rightly or wrongly, like party city in my head. They also took an OLB from Appalachian State. I would want to ask him if they still talk about the time they beat Michigan. But, that doesn’t quite push it to a 4. I could live without the answer.

Cleveland Browns – While I’d probably give their actual team a 4, this draft class doesn’t do much for me. I gave them a 1 because I’d hope during the quarantine that maybe some of the guys like Baker and OBJ would break quarantine and come hang out with us.

Pittsburgh Steelers – My only notes for my childhood team are 2 – Eh. I guess that means I’m not impressed. I do like that they took a WR in the first round. It means that I won’t have to listen to Simmons and Sal wonder how the Steelers keep getting lucky with their late round WR picks. However, a 2 is almost more damning than a 0. It just means I don’t care that much to actually give it a rating.

AFC South

Houston Texans – They get a 0. They will forever and always get a 0. Other than Deshaun Watson, the entire team can be sold to Mexico to help pay down the national debt. You thought I was going to make another political joke, didn’t you? Well, not here.

Indianapolis Colts – Initially, I put a 2, but I’m going to bump it up to a 3. The Dolphins took Tua, Buffalo took Fromm, and the non divisional rival took Eason to complete the torture of Chris. Add to it that they took a player from my alma mater and, yeah, a 3 is probably apropros.

Jacksonville Jaguars – Like the Texans, we can get rid of the Jags. Other than the year that I won my fantasy football league with Blake Bortles as my quarterback (thus starting my UCF fandom), I sometimes forget that the Jags exist. So, how much traction am I going to try to get out of this Blake Bortles story? Well, do you have a better one? They get a 1 because they drafted a guy named Shaquille.

Tennessee Titans – Jesus, can we just get rid of the AFC South already? I couldn’t even remember what this stupid teams name was. I wanted to say Tuxedos? Whatever, they drafted a guy from Hawai’i. I don’t know the rules of this quarantine, but if I got to spend a month in Hawai’i, I’d be okay with that.

AFC West

Denver Broncos – They’re a 2, leaning to 3. They got Jerry Jeudy and a guy named Cleveland. I could ask him how he feels playing for the…oh, never mind. It’s a solid 2. But, Jeudy will be fun to watch next year.

Kansas City Chiefs – Helaire by himself is a 3. I didn’t see any other names on the list. But, just to be able to play against the guy in Madden with himself on the Chiefs to see if they could possibly go undefeated next year would be a fun exercise.

Los Angeles Chargers – Holy cow. I might have forgotten the Tuxedos names, but I forgot the Chargers were a team. Twice. The first time, I had to come back to add this section. Then, I nearly called them the Clippers. I was going to give them a 2 because I thought their QB’s name was Hebert, but it’s Herbert. So, they’re demoted to a 0.

Las Vegas Raiders – I’m not even sure that I looked at their draft picks, but the Raiders are in Vegas, baby! Similar to my wish to spend quarantine in Hawai’i, why not Vegas? It’s warm, there’s plenty of entertainment (except the casinos shut down), and it’s warm. Eff this New England spring. They get a 3.

The Verdict

Even though I forgot about it, the Quarantine Draft: AFC Edition was entertaining to watch. By that, I mean it was fun to watch Chris slowly lose his mind as Belichick passed over QB after QB in favor of, in the immortal words of one of his last texts, “They took a kicker!” Aside from that, I didn’t pay as much attention to college football the last couple of years, so I didn’t know as many of the players. Here’s hoping that Covid-19 allows us to watch football in the fall.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Noob’s Top 10: Super Bowl LIV

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Introduction

First, it was nice of the NFL to name this year’s Super Bowl LIV after Steven Tyler’s daughter. I don’t think she’s been working much lately, so this will be a bit of a pick me up for her. Secondly, this Top 10 is going to be the “Top 10 reason I would actually watch the Super Bowl this year (but still won’t because my family has a tradition)” but that title was entirely too long.

Besides, I’m not sure how I would watch the game. I got rid of Hulu Live TV a few months ago to save money. Chris and I talked about maybe getting together for the game, but as too often happens with our plans, they fell apart. So, we are going to go with the usual family plan of watching movies instead. However, I will still have the Gamecast of Super Bowl LIV on in the background because I really want to watch this game. Let’s explore why.

Update: This was supposed to be posted before the Super Bowl. As happens, it was not. So, I will update it as a preview and post mortem. Hope you enjoy. Also be sure to check out my championship preview.

Noob’s Top 10: Super Bowl LIV

10. Eff the Pats – For the first time in forever, the Patriots didn’t even sniff the Super Bowl this year. Long time fans of the page will know why this makes me so happy. For those who are new here, welcome! I have always hated the Patriots for as long as I can remember. Stick around for a while and you’ll learn why. In any case, I’m so happy that the Pats lost in the wildcard round.

Update: The Patriots still weren’t in the game. In spite of my fears that they might find a way to use Tom Brady’s connection to Donald Trump to Electoral College their way in, the only connection to the Patriots was Jimmy G.

9. Schadenfreude – Don’t think that just because the Pats aren’t in the Super Bowl that I won’t be able to find joy in the misery of others. That’s my specialty. There is plenty to be happy about if Jimmy G falls on his face.

Update: Speaking of Jimmy G, he didn’t exactly fall on his face. However, he definitely wasn’t up to the challenge of out Mahomesing Mahomes. Honestly, I don’t know if anyone was up to that challenge this year.

8. Halftime Show – Gaga and Katy Perry. Then, whatever the heck happened last year. This year, another show that middle aged white guys like me will surely enjoy. I mean, Shakira and JLo on the same stage? How can you go wrong?

Update: The answer, of course, is that you couldn’t go wrong. Unless you are a bitter old racist. Then, seemingly, you lost your ever loving mind.

7. Andy Reid – I give him a lot of crap for his clock management and for good reason. However, a couple of weeks ago, Chris and I were texting. I said something about Reid letting the game plan go and allowing his coordinators to call the shots. I’m not sure how true that is, but the team has been running smoothly.

Update: Andy Reid was in the perfect position to Andy Reid the hell out of this game. He didn’t. Furthermore, it seemed like the Chiefs weren’t going to let him if he tried.

6. Go for the throat – Directly related to the last point, the Chiefs have taken a page from the Patriots playbook. They try to score at the end of the half and then bury the opposition with their first possession of the second half. It’s a beautiful thing to watch. Especially since it isn’t the Pats.

Update: The Chiefs managed to do neither of these things. I texted Chris that SF being able to prevent this from happening was huge. In fact, San Francisco was in prime position to win this game. They did nearly everything right. Uh, about that…

5. Kyle Shanahan – Remember, he was the offensive coordinator on the Falcons the year that they blew a 25 point lead. Now, I’m not saying that will have any bearing on this game, but it’s something to keep in the back of your mind as you watch.

Update: Poor Kyle Shanahan. I heard a ridiculous stat on Simmons and Sal about the last two 4th quarters that a Kyle Shanahan offense has been in the Super Bowl. It wasn’t good. Now, he goes down in history as the guy who blew it against Belichick and out Andy Reided Andy Reid.

4. Next Year – I don’t know the last time I was actually looking forward to an NFL season. It has been at least a decade. I got out of football slowly over the years, but you can see my progression if you watch my Facebook memories.

Update: I said to Chris after the game that I’m looking forward to the season, so this hasn’t changed. I want to see if Baltimore can continue their rise next year like the Chiefs did this year. I want to see if Father Time can finally defeat the Golden Boy. Chris mentioned Buffalo, who could easily win the east if so. Can’t wait!

3. Prop Bets – I’m not much of a gambler. Unlike many weekend warrior bettors, not even the amount of Super Bowl props can make me want to throw my money away. However, I like the shows about the bets and imagining myself making stupid money because someone scored a safety as the first points of the game.

Update: I didn’t make any money off the props again this year. I didn’t spend any money on them, either, so all in all, zero net gain is a win. Like the commercials that everyone enjoys watching for some reason, these things are getting out of control, though.

2. San Francisco’s Defense – Other than Patrick Mahomes, this is the sole reason to watch the game. They haven’t been historically good this year, but San Francisco’s defense is downright scary. If the 49ers win, I hope it is because of the defense and not beautiful Jimmy G.

Update: As mentioned above, San Francisco was in the pest position to win a Super Bowl that I’ve seen from a team in the last few years. They had a 10 point lead. Their defense was confounding Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs offense. Then, it all just fell apart. Or…

1. Patrick Mahomes – I had a brief fling with Lamar Jackson this year as my quarterback man crush, but Mahomes is the OG real deal. He is the only reason that I watch football at all over the last two years.

Update: Alternatively, Mahomes just did what Mahomes does. He and the Chiefs just seemed to want to spot their opponents 10+ point leads in the playoffs and then come back to win the game. I watched the last two touchdown drives when I finally realized they were streaming the game on NFL.com. They were things of beauty.

The Verdict

Super Bowl LIV was fun. Sure, the middle was a bit concerning if you were rooting for the Chiefs, but the comeback was amazing and that’s all we’ll remember years from now. The NFL will make sure of that by only playing highlights from the comeback. I’m excited for the new season and a fan of football again. However, not enough to watch the XFL.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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2019 NFL Conference Championship Preview

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Introduction

Welcome to my 2019 NFL Conference Championship Preview. This is getting posted during the Tennessee/KC game, so it will soon be obsolete. Nevertheless, I wanted to post the article for posterity sake. You will just have to take my word for it that I wrote it a few days ago. After all, I’m pretty good about being honest.

Speaking of being honest, I just spent the last 45 minutes playing cribbage with my wife. So, this isn’t going to post until after the Chiefs game and maybe well into the evening game. Oh well, better late than never. So, I can’t use the “Eff the Pats” scale that I used a couple of years ago. They got effed by Tennessee in the coin flip round.

Another admission. You can obviously see that this is posting on Monday afternoon, after both games were played. I mean, that’s not a huge deal since I’m not making any picks (though my picks were the Chiefs and 49ers, so 5-4-1 so far in the playoffs and improving every round). But, still, in the interest of full disclosure, I figured I’d explain. Now, on to the potential match ups.

Least Favorite (Tennessee vs. San Francisco)

San Francisco seems like the only team left in the playoffs capable of containing Derrick Henry. That would mean that this game would just end up being a snooze fest defensive battle. Once upon a time, that’s the kind of game I’d be interested in. However, this isn’t your father’s National Football League. We want offense and lots of it. Keep this boring match up in the truly worst of timelines.

Slightly More Interesting (Tennessee vs. Green Bay)

At least in this game, the possibility exists that Henry goes off and sets a Super Bowl record for rushing. Plus, Rodgers gets to go for his second. This is just a demonstrably more interesting match up than Tennessee and San Fran. I don’t want Tennessee anywhere near the Super Bowl this year, but facts are facts.

Okay, Now We’re Talking (Kansas City vs. Green Bay)

I was having a tough time ranking the last two match ups. Like Chris said when I texted him about it, “I just want KC. I’d be okay with either match up.” I’m excited for this one because I think it could just be a good old fashioned shoot out between Mahomes and Rodgers. But, Chris put a bit of a damper on it by saying that Mahomes wins hands down. He’s right. KC’s talent on offense is just ridiculous.

Strength vs. Strength (Kansas City vs. San Francisco)

Kansas City’s offense, as I just said, is ridiculous. San Francisco’s defense is downright scary. The classic immovable object vs. the irresistible force. Who wins? Unfortunately, I think that it’s San Fran’s defense, but it will still be a fun game if it happens.

The Verdict

Three out of the four match ups can be really fun. The fourth, I could talk myself into finding interesting in the two weeks of hype leading to the game. In any case, I hope that your team finds a way into the Super Bowl. Thanks for reading my 2019 NFL Conference Championship Preview. Be sure to come back for my Super Bowl Preview and Post Mortem in the weeks to come.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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2019 NFL Divisional Playoffs Post Mortem

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Introduction

Welcome to my 2019 NFL Divisional Playoffs Post Mortem. For the most part, things went as planned. There was, of course, the Tennessee Tuxedos destroying the Ravens. Other than that, though, there weren’t a ton of surprises. This is reflected in my 2-1-1 (I picked the Seahawks, but knew in my heart that Green Bay would win, so I’m taking a tie for that game.) record for the round. With my 1-3 in the coin flip weekend, that brings me to 3-4-1 for the playoffs so far.

That’s not a great record, of course. But, depending on how I bet the games, I could still be plus money at this point. Then again, I probably would have put a small fortune on Baltimore, so that point it moot. Speaking of Baltimore…

Tennessee at Baltimore

What more can I possibly say about this game? I was so convinced of the outcome that I didn’t bother even tuning in to see how it was going. It was only after Chris texted me several times during the beginning of the game. At least one of them was, “WTF”. So, I tuned in and Baltimore was down 14-0. Well, I thought, LJ is the MVP for this year and there’s plenty of time to come back. Well, about that. The come back never materialized and half of my Super Bowl pick was DOA. Well, both of them were actually dead, but that wasn’t official until Sunday.

Minnesota at San Francisco

This was the least surprising game of the weekend. I thought that San Francisco would roll the Vikings and they did. Sure, Minnesota stayed close for the first half, but eventually, San Fran’s talent just took over and won the game. There’s a reason that they were my close second to make it to the Super Bowl from the NFC.

Seattle at Green Bay

This was probably the other least surprising game from the weekend. I know that makes no sense in a couple of contexts. First, I picked Seattle to go to the Super Bowl. Second, how can you have 2 least surprising victories? Well, technically, you can’t. However, my original statement made even less sense, if that makes, er, sense. I mean, all you have to do is look at that last run on sentence to see where my brain is today. I mean, it was a bit surprising when I saw that Seattle was starting to come back, but not really. Russell Wilson is known for those come backs. So, ultimately, not terribly surprising.

Houston at Kansas City

I went for a walk through the Quabbin with Christine. I came home to no less than 5 texts from Chris again. Again, at least one of them read, “WTF.” So, I went to check the score of the game and it was 28-24. I thought that was the final. Nope, halftime. KC continued to pour it on after halftime and Mahomes seems to have finally reached his final form. We will see if Andy Reid can prevent himself from Andy Reiding all over the AFCC, but I’m excited for the prospect of Mahomes in the Super Bowl. Doesn’t even matter who they play. But, that is a discussion for the next article.

The Verdict

Thanks for reading my 2019 NFL Divisional Round Post Mortem. I texted Chris the other day that 9 times out of 10, Baltimore wins that game. We just live in the worst timeline. Oh well, at least Mahomes is still alive and chucking it. As long as that’s true, I’ll pay attention. So, hopefully, the timeline is fixing itself as we speak and I’ll get to see him in the Super Bowl.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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2019 NFL Season Review Part 2

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Introduction

Welcome to our 2019 NFL Season review part 2. Yesterday, we did the first part of the review by playing Santa Claus and giving each of the AFC teams a late Christmas gift. Today it is time for the NFC. Then, at some point during the week, I will do New Year’s resolutions for each of the teams.

Apologies for all of the NFL content. It’s my way of trying to get back into the swing of things for the new year. I promised myself and the page that I would do something. Then, life got busy again. Yes, that is a bit of a convenient excuse. But, it’s also true. Okay, enough about me. Let’s give out some more gifts.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys – The Cowboys weren’t quite the horror show that the Browns ended up being. However, they did underperform once again after a promising previous year. Jason Garrett, as much fun as it is to watch him on the sideline, needs to go. Since I gave Urban to the Browns, enjoy Lincoln Riley, Dallas.

New York Giants – I give them a peaceful and painless Eli Manning retirement. He wasn’t as historic as big brother. However, he did give you two Super Bowl victories over the Patriots. For that, he has my undying gratitude. God speed, Eli.

Philadelphia Eagles – Eagles fans are a miserable bunch. They went 9-7 this year and limped into the playoffs. But, they’re happy as long as Dallas isn’t and Dallas isn’t happy. So, the Eagles have everything they need. Please, just lose in the first round and go away.

Washington Racists – I will forever wish only one thing on this disgusting organization. Get a new name. I know that will only happen if Dan Snyder is gone, so draw your own conclusions.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals –

Los Angeles Rams – I grant the Rams the ability to go back in time a few months and not hamstring their entire organization with the Jared Goff contract. That guy stinks on ice. Oh, and wunderkind Sean McVay? Yeah, about that.

San Francisco 49ers – I appear to have already given the 49ers one of the best gifts I possibly could. I picked the Seahawks to win the division and, ultimately, the Super Bowl. Apparently, that went right up on the billboard in 49ers locker room. You’re welcome.

Seattle Seahawks – I give the Seahawks a healthy running back that doesn’t have one foot in the retirement home. Beast Mode coming back is wonderful and heartwarming. However, it isn’t going to do much to erase the demons of Super Bowl 49.

NFC North

Chicago Bears – Last year, Da Bears got eliminated from the playoffs due to the “double doink”. This year, the wheels just fell off. I’m giving them a lucky rabbits foot, a four leaf clover, and a horseshoe. Hopefully that counteracts whatever bad mojo has been rising.

Detroit Lions – Earlier in the year, I was again surprised to learn that John Matthew Stafford was still a starting quarterback in this league. This has been an annual epiphany for at least the last three years. He is a gift unto himself.

Green Bay Packers – I give the Packers a peaceful week off and plenty of snow next week for the Saints to come into town. If things go the way I expect, that will be next week’s game.

Minnesota Vikings – I give the Vikings a pat on the heads and an “Atta boy” for making it into the playoffs. I just have a feeling the Saints are gonna steamroll them. No chance at a “Minnesota Miracle” this time.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons – Another team that grossly underperformed this year. I give you and your fans some time off to think about what you did to the league and other fans this year. It wasn’t a kind thing that you did and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Carolina Panthers – Chris told me the other day that Josh McDaniel was being considered as the head coach of Carolina. I replied with an “LOL”. Please, for the love of all that is holy, I give you any coach but him.

New Orleans Saints – I grant New Orleans the greatness of my presence this summer. I know that sounds conceited and it just might be. I’m just saying that I visited South Carolina last year and now Clemson is in the championship. Coincidence? I don’t believe in coincidences.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – I give Jameis Winston LASIK surgery. I don’t know if he actually needs it, but he did become the first 30/30 man in the NFL. Sure, it’s entertaining as hell, but it had to be frustrating for TB fans. Both of you.

The Verdict

All 32 teams have been given their gift. Man, I don’t know how Santa does this every year. I’m spent after only 2 days of writing these articles. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed my 2019 NFL season review part 2. Join us the rest of the week as we do NFL resolutions.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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Completely Ignorant 2019 NFL Week 15 Preview

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Introduction (Holiday Edition Part 1)

Welcome to 2019 NFL Week 15. Yes, I wrote holiday in the title. Please, please, boycott my page. Boycotts of “holiday” themed things seem to make them go viral. Given how work is going I would love a little bit of monetization from this page. So, bring on the boycott.

Last week’s page was a bit hit or miss. Because I didn’t plan properly, it was mostly miss. So, live and learn. In spite of my slightly passive aggressive earlier paragraph, I do love the Christmas season. I always have. This year I was able to get Christine on board, but we lost Liam a bit because of a decision to get a fake tree. Oh well, can’t please them all. Real tree folks, boycott us, too!

This week, I will try to come up with a Christmas movie that reminds me of the of the game in question. Again, this isn’t terrible well thought out. So, it might fail spectacularly. We are nothing if not resilient around here. Let’s preview 2019 NFL Week 15

Almost Classics

Miami at New York Giants – “Earnest Saves Christmas”. The two teams will somehow bungle their way to a heartwarming finish.

Jacksonville at Las Vegas (In London?) – “Klaus” Two teams that have no business playing football in this country represented by a “foreign” movie that suspiciously sounds American.

New England at Cincinnati – “Rudolph” A game that will be watched by a ton of people for some reason, but I have no interest whatsoever. Rudolph fans, boycott us!

Philadelphia at Washington – “Frosty the Snowman” Slightly annoying and a bit too long, do we really have to do this game twice a year?

Cleveland at Arizona – “Noelle” Similar to Noelle, I just discovered a love for Cleveland’s and Arizona’s quarterbacks. Also, similar to Noelle, I expect this game to be surprisingly fun and to be left wanting more.

New Classics

Tampa Bay at Detroit – “The Santa Clause” I feel safe in ignoring this game for large portions in the same what that I can ignore the movie without missing major plot points.

Minnesota at Los Angeles Chargers “Home Alone” See the previous paragraph. Also, if the game goes like I think it might, the Vikings are going to beat up the Chargers like Kevin did the burglers.

Indianapolis at New Orleans – “The Grinch (the new animated one)” Both of these teams make be grumpy for very different, but ultimately the same, reasons. They have just been really whiny this year. Kinda like the Grinch.

Seattle at Carolina – “Polar Express” I’ve had a tough time matching this one to a proper movie. Polar Express works because like the movie, I tend to forget that the Seattle football team exists.

Classics

Chicago at Green Bay – “Peanuts Christmas” For some reason, like Frosty, we have to do this game twice a year. Likewise, for some reason, we watch this movie every single year.

Atlanta at San Francisco – “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” This year, Atlanta is the douche neighbors and San Francisco is the Griswolds constantly sticking it to them.

Denver at Kansas City – “The Grinch (old animated one)” Patrick Mahomes is Cindy Lou Who constantly keeping me entertained and interested in the NFL in spite of my growing disinterest.

Buffalo at Pittsburgh – “Christmas Story” The Steelers have made me say “Oh fudge” more than once. Meanwhile, Buffalo has been a nice surprise this year, a la the BB gun at the end.

The Best

Houston at Tennessee – “Scrooged” This one almost hurts. I couldn’t justify any other game as this one is a fight for first place. But, Scrooged holds a special place in my heart and I’ve often said that we could eliminate the two southern divisions with no consequence. Oh well, can’t win em all.

The Verdict

While I’d not call this a complete success, it definitely went better than last week. Like I say, live and learn. There are still things to improve, but I have a couple of weeks this year and all of next year to try to figure it out. As always, thanks for joining us for 2019 NFL Week 15 and we’ll see you next week for Holiday Edition Part 2.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).