Tag Archives: American Football Conference

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2021 AFC Preview: An NFL Love Story

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Introduction

It has been nearly two months since you heard anything from us here at 2 Generations Gaming. That begs a couple of questions. Why were we gone for so long? Why are we back now? So, before I give you our 2021 AFC Preview, let me answer those questions for you as best I can.

Why were we gone for so long? I’m nothing, if not honest. Therefore, I will give you the honest answer here. The truth of the matter is that we here at the page had an honest to goodness identity crisis. Chris and I planned, twice, to record another episode in an attempt to get the podcast rolling again and both times, we failed. I take full responsibility for this failure.

One time I simply forgot. The other, it ended up being Father’s Day.

Why are we back now? As a result of that, we came to a tentative agreement to consider the web page dead. I lapsed on the payments until they sent the email telling me that they shut it off. I considered calling it then. Truth be told, I probably should. This page has had almost no reach and I honestly have no clue how to find my way in this new online environment.

I realize that none of that explains why we are back now. It actually explains better why we would consider never returning. I suppose the only viable answer to the question is that I’m both stubborn and hopelessly optimistic. As Marc Maron derisively said once on his show, “Without any gatekeepers, anyone thinks they can do this.” So, let’s keep this delusion going for a little while longer, at least.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (13-3, 1st place in 2020): I enjoy when Buffalo is good. Most of it is because I grew up in Erie, Pennsylvania and Buffalo was one of our “home” teams. Cleveland was the other. Curiously, Pittsburgh, in the same state as Erie, was only shown when the other teams were blacked out. NFL TV rules are sometimes weird.

Miami Dolphins (10-6, 2nd place in 2020): Regular readers of the page (all half a dozen of you) know that I have a major man crush on Tua Tagovailoa. Immediately after he threw the touchdown in the National Championship game, I texted my friend Craig to tell him Iwas in love. Last year was a mixed bag for my man. Hoping he turns it around this year.

New England Patriots (7-9, 3rd place in 2020): Chris, the other names participant on this page, is a Patriots fan. I grew up a Steelers fan, but consider myself more of a nomad these days. Nevertheless, we text about the Patriots and Steelers on the regular. Surprisingly,the news of Cam’s release only elicited a single text and reply. Then again, maybe not all that surprising.

New York Jets (2-14, 4th place in 2020): I freely admit my shrtcomings on this page regularly. One of those is that I will periodically forget that teams exist. As I ran through the 4 teams in the East, Ihad to look up the fourth team, the Jets. I know precisely nothing about the team this year.

AFC West

Denver Broncos (5-11, 4th place in 2020): I should have done some research before writing this preview. In my defense, Simmons and Sal haven’t done their week 1 “Guess the Line” show, if they are still doing it. I haven’t been able to find anything online about it. Hope it’s still happening. They get me through the Friday afternoon commute.

Kansas City Chiefs(14-2, 1st place in 2020): Mahomes was my first man crush of this new crop of young QBs and looked to be the guy to retire Old Man Brady. Alas, injuries to his offensive line and Tompa selling out to win last year derailed that storyline for the moment. But, I still love my man and forever will.

Las Vegas Raiders (8-8, 2nd place in 2020): So, I watched the The Hangover Trilogy again a few weeks ago. Then, on my shuttle to the Logan to fly to Pennsylvania to visit family, two ladies were excited about their trip to Vegas. I imagine both are infinitely more entertaining than anything the Raiders will do this year.

San Die…er, Los Angeles Chargers (7-9, 3rd place in 2020): They will forever be the San Diego Chargers to me. Aside from that fun fact, I’m all in on Justin Hebert, but it’s not a man crush. I’ll drop him like a bad habit if he can’t stay in form this year.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens (11-5, 2nd place in 2020): I mentioned earlier that I used to be a Steelers fan. On some level, I always will be. However, I also consider myself a bit of a free agent. Given autonomy over my fandom, I might actually like the Ravens and Browns more than the Steelers. Talk about an about face.

Cincinatti Bengals (4-11-1, 4th place in 2020): Even though I like Joe Burrows and want him to succeed, I will not root for the Bengals. Fuck them guys.

Cleveland Browns (11-5, 3rd place in 2020): The Browns, on the other hand. Love them Browns. I’ve loved Baker ever since college. The talking heads shit on him for being too much of a college student after they shit on Tim Tebow for not being enough of one. Hoping the North comes down to a race between the new and old Browns.

Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4, 1st place in 2020): My grandfather (and possibly my father) is rolling over in his grave after my comments about the Ravens and Browns. I don’t want to break their hearts even further, so I will leave it at that.

AFC South

Houston Texans (4-12, 3rd place in 2020): For a few years there, everyone was enamoured with JJ Watt and picked the Texans to win the AFC. And, every year, they finished under .500. Thankfully, that trend seems to have passed.

Indianapolis Colts (11-5, 2nd place in 2020): If you asked me to give you the Indianapolis Colts record to save someone I love from a Jigsaw style trap, they’d be the one dead before the opening credits.

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-15, 4th place in 2020): They have a new stud quarterback. They have the new hotness as head coach. They had a new running back. Well, they still do, but he’s on the injured list for the year, so he’s not going to contribute much. The past few years I advocated for sending the Jags permanently to Europe to start expansion into that continent. They can stay this year.

Tennessee Titans (11-5, 1st place in 2020): I liked the Titans as the Bills nemesis in the playoffs last year and look forward to that rivalry blossoming into the future. Aside from that, I don’t have much to say about them.

The Verdict

Thanks for reading my 2021 AFC Preview. I expect more of the same out of the conference. KC will toy with everyone and maybe flirt with an undefeated season. The AFC South will disappoint me and I’ll be talking about shipping them all overseas by midseason. One thing that will be a surprise is that I might actually root for the Patriots this year. I want Mac Jones to be successful and that’s been enough in the past for me to bury the hatchet and start rooting for a team. Join me soon for the NFC!

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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We Love Super Bowl LV: Kansas City

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Introduction

After yesterday’s awkward attempt to find good things about Tom Brady winning another Super Bowl, I present our preview of Super Bowl LV: Kansas City. Unlike a few years ago, I have an actual rooting interest in this game. To be perfectly honest, it might be quicker to list the reasons I don’t want Kansas City to win this game.

Because there are this many…

So, in the interest of finishing this article before the game starts, I will keep it under five. Just off the top of my head, I have three, so once I get writing, to stay consistent with yesterday’s article, I will stick to those three. Let’s explore, then, my top three reasons we love Super Bowl LV: Kansas City.

Travis Kelce

I never concerned myself much with Kelce. Occasionally, I picked him for my daily fantasy lineup. Usually, I won money in those instances. I guess that says something about the dehumanizing nature of professional sports. Maybe I just don’t have the time to keep track of my family, students, and also over 1600 NFL players. Hell, I barely even know all of the players on the Steelers and they’re supposedly my favorite team.

Editor’s Note: I stopped writing about here. Then, I went for a snow shoe with my wife. After, I cooked lunch and dinner while watching our Super (Heroes, not Bowl) marathon. And, so, it is that I’m finishing this article after the fact. I have to admit. It’s a bit depressing all things considered.

Andy Reid

I gave Andy Reid a ton of crap in the past. And, with good reason. The guy never met a clock management situation that he didn’t screw up. Then, something happened. That something isn’t just Patrick Mahomes. Granted, getting Patrick Mahomes helped greatly.

But, Reid just sort of started going for it. He ignored the tendencies that were holding him back and blew the lid off of the NFL. The league is a copycat league and so many coaches are now going for it on fourth down. Sure, you might argue this stems from Belichick and in some ways, I agree with that assessment. But, it’s taken a giant teddy bear like Andy Reid and his genius offensive coordinator, Eric Bieniemy, to make the moves more mainstream. There’s only one person I will feel more happy for than Andy Reid if the Chiefs win this game.

Patrick Mahomes

He already captured the league’s imagination and adoration. He won both a regular season and a Super Bowl MVP. And, he’s only 25 years old. A second consecutive championship cements him as one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game.

Did I mention that he’s only 25 years old? I may hold back my love and enjoyment of watching Josh Allen or Tua play. That has never been the case with Patrick Mahomes. He just makes football fun again for me. That’s been sorely missing for the last 15 years or so. The Chiefs truly can represent a seismic shift in the way football is played. Their 25 year old starting quarterback is at the helm of all that.

The Verdict

Apologies that I didn’t get this Super Bowl LV: Kansas City preview out before the game. I wanted so badly to finish it and meet that deadline. Instead, I have to waltz in with my tail between my legs confident in the fact that I was completely wrong about this game. Well, not completely wrong. I did text Chris a few days ago that my paranoia ran rampant at the news that Kansas City’s entire offensive line was backups. Like I just texted him, “Football is so unforgiving because it is only one game.” Oh well, Mahomes is 25 and hopefully this loss gives him some inspiration to come out and kick butt next year.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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NFL Conference Championships 2021 Post MOrtem: A Love(?) Story

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Introduction

Sorry that I’m a day late on this NFL Conference Championships 2021 post mortem article. I was busy simulating for my epic 70 year run of Super Bowl LV: As It Should Have Been. Actually, I don’t own the teams for this year yet to be able to simulate the games yet. They won’t be released for another couple of months at the earliest.

In all honesty, I’ve just been slacking lately.

But, I bring you my take on the fallout from the games this past weekend. Spoiler alert: I liked one outcome. However, I hated the other in every way possible. Instead of dwelling on the games themselves, which we all watched, allow me to reflect on how the results may have affected each team. I realize that may be unorthodox.

What are we if not unorthodox around here. I just try to find those forgotten or lost topics to write about. With so much content out there, especially in sports, that can be difficult. Nevertheless, 6 years of a web page that reaches about a dozen people at a time proves that I do not give up easily. Join me, now, for the NFL Conference Championships 2021 post mortem.

Green Bay Packers – Wither Aaron Rodgers?

Not my terrible photoshop, but I happened to be in my Simpsons crapposting group on Facebook and this one popped up.

Poor Aaron Rodgers. I mentioned in the previous two articles that he has thrown less than 100 interceptions in his career. This season, he again made a compelling case as the MVP. And yet, in the aftermath of this weekend’s game, the less imaginative members of sports media saddled him with the “can’t win the big one” label.

Yes, the Packers lost the game with him. Yes, that makes them 1-4 in conference championships with him as their. Forget for a minute that wins and losses are not a quarterback stat. Football is the ultimate team game until a quarterback has an unfavorable record. Then, all of a sudden, he’s a choker and “can’t win the big one”. So stupid.

Tampa Bay got Tom Brady and then basically sold their future for now. They got Leonard Fournette, a good receiving corp and offensive line, Bruce Arians as coach, and one of the best defenses. Kansas City reloaded after Hunt went to Cleveland. Hell, even Buffalo got Stephon Diggs to help Josh Allen. Aaron Rodgers has the other Aaron, a receiving corp that drops ball after ball, and a suspect defense made even more so by a cornerback whose kink is apparently getting beat like a drum every other play.

Chris accused me of “Brady hate” during our text exchange during the game. More on that later. The whole game, I just kept thinking how much this sucks for Rodgers. I hope he gets another chance to drag this corpse of a team up the mountain and shut everyone up. Oh, I forgot to mention earlier. You’re the coach of a team down 8 with about 2 minutes to go. What do you do? Oh, you’re kicking a field goal. Surely, you have the trickiest onside kick planned, right? Right? RIGHT?!

Buffalo Bills – Young Coaches Got Schooled

Bills fans are adorably naive.

I quietly rode the Josh Allen bandwagon last year. He looked to be improving. However, I didn’t want to come out as a full Josh Allen fan. I’ve been burned before. Remember Kordell Stewart? I bought too many shares of that stock just before it tanked. The jury on Tua in the NFL is still out, but his college career is enough for me to hang my hat on. Therefore, unless your name is Patrick F. Mahomes, I reserve the right to be, uh, reserved in my adoration.

Even though I wanted to watch this game more than any other game so far this season, I didn’t. I tuned in to the Gamecast and saw KC was up 21-9. Texted Chris, “Well, at least something is going according to plan.” He agreed. I “watched” the Gamecast for a bit more and went to bed confident in the Chefs’ victory.

So, not having seen the game, I can’t comment with 100% accuracy. I will, instead, report from one of the various articles I’ve read in the past week. It looked to me like the two losing teams simply got outcoached. Yes, I realize that seems hypocritical when I just said the team wins and loses and that it can’t be blamed on one person. Nevertheless, the coach (especially in the NFL) has much of the power and decision making capacity.

Think of it like a game of Magic the Gathering (what’s this, gaming content?). Now, granted, football players are more than simply pieces of cardboard. But, stick with me for this possibly overwrought metaphor. The decisions that you make (right or wrong) add up over the game and one costly mistake can lose you the game. The point is the Bills will be back and I’m fully on the Josh Allen bandwagon now.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Oh, God, Not This Again

Yes, much of what I’ve said about Tom Brady should not be published on a fan friendly web page. Allow me to explain.

I already said that Chris accused me of Brady hate. He said this in response to my preview article where I said that I don’t hate Brady as a football player or a person. I assure you, all of that is true. Then again, by simply needing to assure you, I may have already exposed my guilt. So, what’s the deal? Do I or do I not hate Tom Brady?

I don’t hate Tom Brady the person. Yes, he is a consummate con man that peddles questionable medical and lifestyle advice. Basically, he’s Gwenyth Paltrow for sports dudes. But, he seems to actually believe the crap he says, so it’s not like he is Trump level con man. I also don’t hate Tom Brady the football player. He does what a quarterback is supposed to do and he does it very well.

I do hate, still, that he receives a bulk of the credit, especially for this game. He threw 3 TDs, that much is true. He also threw three interceptions and, in the second half, looked like Eli Manning. As mentioned, his defense bailed him out. It also helped that Green Bay’s coach isn’t very good at probability and statistics.

I read one article that credited the defense, which gives me some faith that bad actors in sports media are being ushered out the door. These guys are professional writer and speakers and the best they can come up with is “Tom Brady Good/Aaron Rodgers Chokes”. It infuriates me to no end. I even said to Chris this week, why do we pay for sports media content? Eff the sports media.

Kansas City Chiefs – Start Chad Henne?

I’m sorry, Patrick. Please forgive me.

In the closing seconds of the Green Bay/Tampa Bay game, I might have texted Chris, “I might consider starting Henne in this game to give Mahomes more time to rest and recuperate.” He texted about turf toe in an attempt to trigger my paranoia, so I responded in kind.

I forgot that the NFL has access to a wide variety of pain killing medication (surprisingly, even though it’s been decriminalized and legalized, that doesn’t include cannabis) that they can mix into cocktails to get a guy ready to take his 3 hours of abuse on the field. So, it most likely is that Mahomes was out there and tossing 3 TDs against a Bills defense that looked good earlier in the year and the week before, but wilted against decent to good offenses.

A couple of days ago, I went back and read my article previewing the Eagles/Patriots Super Bowl. I must cheer against Tom Brady. I cultivated my entire football fan identity around that key idea. And, so, as a former Pittsburgh native, I swallowed my pride and cheered for the Eagles. I took no joy in this.

This year, I can both root against Tom Brady and for Patrick Mahomes. I do this fully aware that the NFL loves a “riding off into the sunset” story and will push that above all else. Knowing that my heart might be ripped in two adds to the excitement. I take solace in the fact that Chris and I both agree that Tampa, unless their defense plays out of their minds, doesn’t have a chance in this game. Oh crap. That gives me no solace at all.

The Verdict

I enjoyed this past weekend. I did tune out of the Packers/Bucs game for the second and third quarters because I thought the Bucs might run away with the game. Chris got me back in by updating me on Brady’s three picks each time they happened. I then sat in stunned silence at the field goal call before texting Chris that I’m not a football coach but I did not understand it at all. You already know that I didn’t watch the Chiefs/Bills game, but the Chiefs won, so that’s all gravy. Thanks for reading my NFL Conference Championships 2021 Post Mortem and see you in a few days for the Super Bowl Preview.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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NFL Conference Championships 2021: A Love(?) Story

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Introducton

I think that Chris missed my article this week about the NFL Conference Championships 2021. He texted yesterday to ask my picks for the Super Bowl. I know we talked about it at the end of the wild card round and I told him Kansas City vs. Green Bay. Maybe he wanted to see if I changed my mind.

Spoiler Alert: I didn’t change my mind.

I responded, “I want to see KC/TB, but Brady still has that mojo even if he isn’t very good.” He replied that he wanted to see the same. I hopefully texted back, “The solace is that Brady faced Brees, who is clearly on his last leg. At this point, Rodgers is the superior quarterback.” He agreed. So, since that’s settled, what will I write in this article.

A couple of years ago, I ranked the potential Super Bowls according to an extremely scientific “Eff the Pats” scale. Since the Patriots sucked out loud this year without Brady, I won’t have to implement that scale. I don’t hate Brady as an individual. He only offended me in his unholy union with Belichick. Maybe I should use a “Mahomes Magic” scale. It’s just the “Eff the Pats” scale, but positive. Everyone, send your magic to the Chefs for tomorrow. Chad Henne did okay last week, but I need Mahomes. Continue to read my thoughts on the NFL Conference Championships 2021.

Bills/Bucs – 0 Mahomes Magic

Technically, Bills/Packers is 0 Mahomes Magic, too. However, I will explain in the next section why that isn’t true. This game is, for sure, 0 Mahomes Magic, though. No actual Mahomes. We do get discount Mahomes in Josh Allen. However, if he beats the Chefs, I would be too bitter to enjoy watching him play in the Super Bowl.

Add in the fact that I’d have to watch another Tom Brady Super Bowl and you have a recipe for a potential emotional breakdown. Granted, I just admitted that I don’t hate Brady as a player or even as a person (but he does seem like kind of a trash person sometimes). Not wanting to see Brady again fits into my “been there, done that” box. Plus, the media would simply fellate Brady for the entire two weeks leading to the Super Bowl. It’s enough to make me dry heave.

Bills/Packers – 3 Mahomes Magic

How, without Mahomes even in the game, does it receive any Mahomes Magic, let alone three? Patience. I told you I will explain and I will. Granted, this scenario lacks Patrick Mahomes, as mentioned. However, it also lacks any mention of TB12, too. For me, the addition of Rodgers at the subtraction of Brady is an automatic +3 Mahomes Magic.

I always liked Rodgers. Even when I used to be a bigger Steelers fan and his Packers beat them in the Super Bowl, I shrugged and tipped my hat to the man. Ever since reading the article a few weeks ago that he has thrown only 89 picks in his career. Okay, pause a moment after that last stat because this next one is the real mind screw. He’s thrown 3 (yes, 3) pick sixes. Five guys, including our man Hall of Famer Eli Manning, has throw 3 in a game.

Watching Rodgers eviscerate the Bills defense would put my mind at ease that they beat Mahomes to get there.

Chiefs/Bucs – 5 Mahomes Magic

I mean, let’s be real. Mahomes is worth 10 Mahomes Magic by himself. However, I said I would be consistent to the other scale, so he’s just an automatic 5. Not even Brady is enough to knock that dew off of the lily. Add to the fact that Mahomes beat Brady 3 out of the 4 times they’ve played and I have full confidence in him doing it again.

Sure, there’s the possibility of Brady fellating as mentioned earlier. However, Mahomes Magic easily eclipses anything that Brady brings to the table. Plus, watching that sad old man trip over his walker while the young and virile Patrick Mahomes smile his way through 4 or 5 TDs and another Super Bowl MVP is enough to make a man swoon.

Chiefs/Packers – 8 Mahomes Magic

Mahomes. No Brady in sight. Rodgers. Endless State Farm commercials. What more can you ask for? Nothing. This might be the most perfect Super Bowl matchup in history. If it doesn’t happen, I’m going to simulate it 25,000 times to assuage my hurt. So, if either the Bills or Bucs win, get ready for 70 years of “Super Bowl LV – How It Should Have Been”.

The Verdict

Seriously, though, any outcome of the NFL Conference Championships 2021 is okay with me. Besides, we never actually watch the game. We started a tradition maybe a decade ago now where we watch all of the movies from a franchise on Super Bowl day while still eating the standard Super Bowl fare of appetizers. In honor of Cobra Kai, this year it will be The Karate Kid series. Hey, don’t blame me. Christine came up with the idea. I’d be happy simply rewatching Cobra Kai.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021: A Love? Story

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Introduction

Welcome to NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021. I can’t remember if we did any previews last year for the NFL playoffs other than the Super Bowl. I suppose there is at least one way to figure that out. Okay, okay, if you’re going to pressure me into it. I will search the archives.

BRB…

Okay, in actuality, we were right on top of the entire playoffs last year. So, yay for us! Now, for the new readers, allow me to explain the title. If you’re old hat around here, skip the next couple of paragraphs and get to the good stuff.

A few years ago, I got the idea to rename Wild Card Weekend to Coin Flip Weekend. It has, by far, the most variance of any of the postseason games other than maybe the Super Bowl in the last 20 years or so. I found a quarter, named him George, and used him to predict the games. George actually did pretty well. If I bet on George’s pick, I’d have made money.

George led to another cockamamie idea of becoming the “Completely Ignorant” prognosticator to show how silly it was that there are so many talking heads shows. Clearly, that failed, as the number of those shows has increased exponentially. Oh well, I am tired of calling myself completely ignorant in a society that actually finds that to be a virtue. Let’s talk some NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021.

NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021: AFC

Colts/Bills (Saturday, 1:05 EST): Earlier in the year, I called Josh Allen, “Mitch Trubisky with a good coach”. I stand by that analysis. Allen improved every year, this year by leaps and bounds to lead the Bills to their first division title since the 1990s. I’m all in on the Bills. Hopefully they don’t eff it up against the Colts. Then again, Chris and I were texting and I said I’d have gladly traded either the Rats or Browns for the Colts. Ended up trading the dysfunctional Fins for them. While Phillip Rivers can use the extra money for his 17 kids, I hope the Bills roll.

Rats/Tuxedos (Sunday, 1:05 EST): As a supposed Steelers fan, I should hate the Ravens. I don’t. I love Lamar Jackson in spite of his fall back to earth this year. On the other hand, I hate the Titans and I don’t even have a valid reason why. If love is to prevail, I guess it needs to be LJ and the Ravens.

Browns/Steelers (Sunday, 8:15 EST): Again, as a supposed Steelers fan, I should hate the Browns. For most of my life, I have. Then, Baker came along and I kind of enjoyed their brand of inconsistency. This year, I think I’m just tired of incompetence. Speaking of incompetence, I asked earlier if 10-6 team ever fired their coach. Sure, the Steelers ended up 12-4, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Time to flip that coin. Eff both these teams.

NFL Coin Flip Weekend 2021: NFC

Rams/Seahawks (Saturday, 4:45 EST): Once upon a time, I declared the Seahawks the most complete team in the league. The whammy (I swear that’s not what I intended) worked and they immediately began sucking out loud. The Rams can go to hell. Along with the Patriots, they delivered the most boring Super Bowl in my lifetime. Go Hawks.

Tompa/Football Team (Saturday, 8:15 EST): Dan Snyder is a dick. Screw his stupid football team and the stupid football team name. I should hate Tampa because The Golden Boy is down there. I don’t. As I’ve said before, it must have just been the unholy union of the Patriots and Brady that made me hate both entities. Also, Chase Young is a moron. I hope TB calls up his old steroids guy, er finds the fountain of youth down there in Florida, and drops an old fashioned 5 TDs on the barely concealed racist nickname.

Bears/Saints (Sunday, 4:45 EST): How the hell are the Bears in the playoffs? Who let them in? Jesus, this league is a joke. A 7-9 team is again hosting a playoff game and the Bears made it, too. Look, I’m sick as sick of Drew Brees as the next guy, but give them one more game and hope the Seahawks blow them out next week to keep that old voodoo curse alive.

The Verdict

The NFL is selling this as the Super Duper Mega Wild Card Weekend. They added one team, which admittedly gave us an extra game in each conference. That’ s a 50% increase. Is a 50% increase really all that super? I guess it depends on what you’re increasing. Am I right, Cialis? Ahem, back to football.

During one of our conversations, Chris and I both said that this year’s playoffs could have been interesting. While that’s true, they’re not as interesting as I’d like them to be. Especially this week with no Mahomes. Also, no real team to root strongly for other than the Bills, who I’m all in on this year. Even so, I’m sure I will tune in for at least half of the games and I’ll check the Steelers score for my yearly dose of schadenfreude. See you guys next week for the Divisional Round.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

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AFC First Quarter 2020 Year In Review

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Introduction

Welcome to the AFC first quarter 2020 year in review! I promise to be back to nerd content next week when I finally give my reviews for comics from last month and this month. Yes, unfortunately comics got the short end of the stick due to my decline in free time because school is kicking my butt so far this year.

Kink shaming aside, this is what it feels like.

So, until we get back to the nerd content next week, I will go through the weird start to the NFL season. In reality, with how weird 2020 has been, it could have been predicted that the NFL season would be weird, as well. And, honestly, it’s not like it has been that much more weird than some of the more recent seasons. In any case, let’s talk about the AFC first quarter 2020.

Note: As you will discover, I’m going to format this as an awards ceremony. I got the half baked idea yesterday afternoon while driving home and listening to Simmons and Sal. That’s where most of my half baked ideas seem to happen.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (4-0): This is what Trubisky Should Have Been Award. Chris and I were texting about the Bills last week. He’s bitter because the Pats have had to play with the corpse of Brian Hoyer and unknown quantity Jarrett Stidham during Cam’s quarantine. Meanwhile, it looks like Josh Allen has finally turned the corner and they have Matt Barkley and Jake Fromm as insurance. It really is an embarrassment of riches right now for the Buffalos.

New England Patriots (2-2): We’ve Been Good So Long That We Don’t Know How to Handle Mediocrity Award. This one goes out to the fans. Not the fans fans. Both my father in law and Chris are reasonable fans who have been willing to admit that TB12 and “In Bill We Trust” are idiotic concepts. I’m talking about Sully and Bawls who regularly call into radio shows and post status updates after the first week about what a mistake Brady made by moving to a warmer climate and potentially better team.

Miami Dolphins (1-3): Where’s Tua? Award. Regular readers of the page know that I’ve had a man crush on Tua since his first appearance at Alabama. I’ve literally watched his legend grow over the years. I don’t understand why Miami is sticking with Fitzpatrick. Maybe they are just waiting for the inevitable magic to run out. Perhaps they’re skittish because of Tua’s injury history. Either way, I hope we see him soon.

New York Jets (0-4): Shame There’s no Professional Football Team in New York Award. I know next to nothing about the Jets. Have they even been relevant since the “Butt Fumble”? I promise that wasn’t just a reason to say “Butt Fumble”. Okay, it actually was. BRB, I’m going to Google “Butt Fumble”.

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs (4-0): Can We Just Give Them The Trophy Now? Award. Okay, that was fun. Side note: “Butt Fumble” seems to have taken on an NSFW side meaning. Don’t indiscriminately Google “Butt Fumble”. As far as the Chiefs, I know that things can happen, especially in 2020. However, in the old world, the Chiefs would be the juggernaut that nobody else can touch. How do you beat them unless they just get bored and start playing 7 on 11 or something. Hell, with Mahomes, they might still beat some teams.

Vegas Raiders (2-2): Who Still Calls them Oakland Raiders? Award. I’m actually surprised that I didn’t call them that on accident. Hell, I still call them the San Diego Chargers sometimes. I just think it’s awesome that sports leagues are avoiding all pretense of being legitimate competition and embracing their status as simply a front for gambling.

Denver Broncos (1-3): Was Larry Testaverde Busy? Award. I stold that joke from Sal. Deal with it. Maybe it will get me some exposure. It hasn’t worked so far, but only a matter of time, right? I mean, they started Brett Rypien in an NFL game. I mean, I had to look that up. All I knew is that he had the same last name as a mediocre NFL quarterback from the 1980s.

San Diego Chargers (1-3): I Always Liked Phil Rivers–Wait, What? Award. So, Phillip Rivers is no longer on the team. I think in my NFL preview, I made a Phillip Rivers joke as the Chargers preview. Oh, that wasn’t intentional. Even after having just talked about it, I still wrote the San Diego Chargers. 32 teams is far too many to keep track of every year.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers (3-0): It’s Not Our Fault the Titans Had a Covid19 Outbreak Award. That was the empathetic response by one of the Steelers when they postponed the game and moved it to a common bye week later in the season. This team is making it more and more difficult to remain a fan.

Baltimore Ravens (3-1): Am I a Ravens Fan? Award. Having grown up a Steelers fan, this is a weird time for me. As mentioned earlier, I find that there are more and more reasons to dislike that team. By the same token, Lamar Jackson is another fun player to watch. I think I might be rooting for the Ravens more than the Steelers at this point.

Cleveland Browns (3-1): How The Hell is Cleveland 3-1? Award. Look, I have been one of the biggest Baker Backers. However, even I am willing to admit that the guy stinks on ice. He’s just not a good quarterback. He has OBJ for crying out loud and he threw for 165 yards last week. OBJ should be good for at least that many yards a week.

Cincinnati Bengals (1-2-1): Get Him A Body Bag! Award. My wife and I finished season 2 of Cobra Kai last week. Now we have to wait a few months for season 3 to release. How does that relate to the Bengals? Joe Burrow is going to end up in the hospital before the end of the year. They might need to bench him just for his own safety, especially against the Ravens and Steelers.

AFC South

Tennessee Titans (3-0): Maybe We Can Use Coronavirus to End the Season Undefeated Award. The Titans have already had one game postponed due to an outbreak. Every day, they seem to have more and more players test positive. What if they just call off the rest of their season and finish 3-0? What a fitting end to 2020 that would be.

Indianapolis Colts (3-1): How Did Phil Rivers End Up Here? Award. When I learned that Phillip Rivers was no longer in San Diego (or Los Angeles for that matter), I assumed that he retired to spend more time with his wife and 9 kids. Then again, now that I read that last sentence again, I can understand completely why he would not do that.

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-3): The Blake Bortles Memorial Award. Fear not fellow Bortles Believers. He’s not dead. Apparently, he’s on the Broncos, so he might even get a chance to start at some point in the season. It’s just that Leonard Fournette said something along the lines of having never played with a good quarterback when he signed with Tampa Bay. Like our man Bortles never handed off the ball to him. For shame, Leonard. For shame.

Houston Texans (0-4): Well, it was a Good Run Award. After being everyone’s it team for seemingly a decade only to implode every season, the Texans actually had a bit of a decent run last year. That seems to all be over so far this year. Thank goodness. It will make it that much easier to send this division to Europe when the NFL expands in a few years.

The Verdict (AFC first quarter 2020 has been fine)

The AFC first quarter 2020 hasn’t been much to write home about. I came into the season not really all that excited about football. Texting with Chris got me slightly more interested. I’m back to the point where I’ll check out a game or two for a couple of minutes each week and I am doing daily fantasy (20 bucks won a couple weeks ago!). So, it’s kept my interest somewhat. But, right now the Chiefs just look like they’re unbeatable and I don’t even have the fun of hating the Pats this year. Thanks for reading my AFC first quarter 2020 preview and join me tomorrow for the NFC.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).