Tag Archives: AFC

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Completely Ignorant 2019 AFC Preview

1 Comment

Introduction

I hope that more will come from this 2019 AFC Preview. I’m trying to expand the reach of the page with some sports. Admittedly, my NFL coverage on the web page has been…spotty, let’s say. A few years ago, I covered all of the playoffs and ended up going 11-3 or something while picking the games. Last year, straight up, I was close to a 60% win rate while picking the games. I either lost interest or time because that stopped near week 6 or 7. I could look the data up on my spreadsheet, but it’s not that important.

What is important is that I’m recommitting (again, yeah, again) myself to the web page. I know that might not mean much to those who used to visit the page and then fell off when I fell off for 3 months. It also might not mean much to those of you who will discover the page during this resurgence. Just know that I have another job teaching that has given me a lot more free time. I’m rediscovering what to do with that free time. This web page and the relationship that it opens up with my kids is at the top of that list. So, join me for my hopefully entertaining and maybe even slightly insightful 2019 AFC Preview.

AFC East (If the NFL had relegation, the three non-NE teams in this division would always be there)

Buffalo Bills – Our first stop in the 2019 AFC Preview brings us to Buffalo. Most likely the last time you will see the Buffalo Bills at the top of the AFC East and that’s only because of alphabetical order. If you asked me to name 5 players on the Bills to save my own life, I’d have to call my lawyer to update my will. Look, I get that the Patriots still have to win once they are in the playoffs, but getting 6 byes a year sure doesn’t hurt their chances.

Miami Dolphins – I couldn’t name 5 Buffalo Bills. I seriously doubt I could do the same for the Dolphins, either. I’m supposed to talk about the Jets after I talk about the Patriots, but I should probably just get it over with right now. Other than the Pats, if you asked me to name 5 players from the AFC East to save my life, well, just give everything to my wife and let her and the kids figure out if all these comics books and cards are worth anything.

New England Patriots – First, I just have to say “Eff the Pats”. Long time readers of the page will recognize that statement. New readers might not know about my history with the team. By the end of the season, I will probably have purged myself of the evil once again. The latest is that the Pats were probably the surest Super Bowl bet in 5 years and I didn’t take them. Eff the Pats.

New York Jets: Oh, the guy who didn’t play for the Steelers last year. You know. The running back. They kept teasing his return and then he was supposed to be traded to the Eagles. That guy. Nope, can’t even name him. Tell my wife and kids I love them.

AFC West (I was going to go with the AFC Central next, but that division doesn’t even exist anymore)

Denver Broncos – The Broncos are one of those teams that I alternate between love and hate. Hated them when Tebow was on the team. Loved them when Manning was on the team. I don’t have any strong feeling necessarily for them right now, but I lean towards hate because they are in the same division as Mahomes and I really, really want that guy to be good for a decade or more.

Kansas City Chiefs – A few things got me back into the NFL in a big way last year. One was I actually had a decently performing fantasy football team that I was running with a friend. That has stalled this year. The other was the rise of Baker Mayfield and Patrick Mahomes. The latter gave me a weekly reason to text Chris during my 18 month hiatus from hanging out due to working evenings.

Los Angeles Chargers – I’m at the age where I’m too old to call this team Los Angeles without some intense practice and planning. They are, and always will be, the San Diego Chargers. Given what I said about Denver, I should probably hate them because they are more of a threat to KC, but it was actually fun to watch the two teams battle it out for first place.

Oakland (Vegas?) Raiders – There isn’t much to say about the Raiders right now. They are on Hard Knocks at a highly inopportune time. Why didn’t the league wait until the team moved to Vegas to have them on the show? The NFL just can’t get out of its own way when it comes to PR. I mean, I guess it’s funny because they have AB now and he’s his own circus.

AFC North (The times, they are a-changin’?)

Baltimore Ravens – As a lifelong* Steelers fan, I am contractually obligated to hate the Ravens. I’ve done it for free for pretty much their entire existence. A few things have happened to change this. One, I’m not as big of a Steelers fan as I have been in the past. Two, Lamar Jackson provided an alternative that I found highly entertaining. I don’t love the Ravens, but I have a grudging respect for them.

Cincinnati Bengals – I was going to say something about Cincinnati being the exact same team as it has been for the last decade and a half or however long Marvin Lewis was coach. But, he’s no longer coach. Still, I can say with some confidence that Cincinnati will be the same team as it has been.

Cleveland Browns – If Steelers fans are supposed to hate the Ravens, we despise the Browns. I’m not sure that it has ever fully been explained to me. I just sort of went with it. My dad hated the Browns. His father hated the Browns. My uncle and cousin. I mean, it’s just apparently what we do. Well, that all changed with the rise of Baker Mayfield. My love for Baker overcomes generations of hate.

Pittsburgh Steelers – *I put the asterisk because I used to be a lifelong Steelers fan. I’m not so sure anymore. There was some more static regarding Ben Roethlisberger, this time from Stormy Daniels. I get it. She was the “it” girl in the news for a while and maybe she was fishing for headlines, but there’s so much smoke around Big Ben and his proclivity for mistreating women. So, uh, go Black and Gold?

AFC South (Why Does This Division Even Exist?)

Houston Texans – I feel like I can just copy and paste my Houston Texans blurb each year. Every year, they bubble up to the surface as a “team to watch”. Then, every year, they bubble back down as the reality of their terribly run organization hits everyone. This team shouldn’t exist. The Houston football team should be the Oilers.

Indianapolis Colts – This article is somewhat timely. But, it is just a few days past the actual news cycle. Andrew Luck announced his retirement a few days ago. I’m not that too late, though, as my favorite sports podcast, Hang Up and Listen, was talking about it. What’s my opinion? More power to him. Get out while the gettin’s good. Enjoy the rest of your life, young man.

Jacksonville Jaguars – If the Texans shouldn’t exist because of the Oilers leaving town, the Jaguars just should exist because why do they even? I feel like if they just moved the Jaguars and Bills or Raiders to London permanently to have them play a 16 game schedule against each other, would anyone even notice?

Tennessee Titans – Of all of the teams in the South, the Titans are the only ones who are even on my radar. They have Marcus Mariotta at QB. Fun anecdote: I googled Titans QB Clemson because I couldn’t remember his name and apparently his alma mater and Charlie Whitehurst came up as the result. So, I guess they aren’t that much on my radar.

The Verdict

Thanks for reading 2 Generations Gaming’s 2019 AFC Preview. As you probably guessed, it is once again the Pats (Eff the Pats) and a bunch of never weres and never will bes. Usually, someone gets lucky every couple of years to beat the Pats (Eff the Pats) for the AFC Championship and maybe this is the year. Even so, the Pats (Eff the Pats) will be annoyingly successful and make me question the goodness of our God above.

I’m still excited for the season even if my partnership fantasy football team is in disarray and the Pats will probably win it all. Mahomes, Baker, and all of the other players will be enough to keep me going at least through until hockey starts. Then, it will become more difficult to keep my interest in the NFL. Thanks for reading our 2019 AFC Preview and look for the NFC Preview sometime in the next week.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids and about 25 Russian bots.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Completely Ignorant 2018 AFC Preview

1 Comment

Introduction

A couple of days ago, I was updating my podcast feed. During the update, I encountered a pleasant surprise. The Bill Simmons podcast, which had been a string of shows that I cared nothing about for the past 8 months, updated with their AFC preview with Cousin Sal. That’s when I know that it is truly time for me to start paying attention.

My birthday used to fall on the same day as the Super Bowl and more than once growing up I had a Super Bowl themed birthday party. Recently, I realized that there were so many other things to do on an autumn or winter Sunday afternoon than sit around and watch football. I’m not nearly the football fan that I used to be.

Oh sure, all of this kerfuffle around concussions and not standing for the national anthem have me curious. Just not curious enough to tune in every Sunday for about the last 5? 6? 7 years? When was the last time the Steelers won the Super Bowl? That would have been the last complete game I watched

Kneeling in church is the ultimate in respect. During the anthem, the ultimate in disrespect? I honestly don’t get it.

I do keep in the game by listening to Simmons and Sal every year. I’ve also become a huge college football fan. Instead of watching men get paid market value to smash their heads into one another, I’m watching unpaid interns. Old habits die hard and nobody’s perfect. Let’s bury that lead and get to the preview.

AFC East

  1. Patsies: Is there any more sure bet in sports than the Patriots winning the East every year? Sure, there are worse teams in the league in any given season, but this is the worst division 2-4 year in and year out. An automatic 6 (well, usually 5 because they sometimes poop the bed against the Fins in Miami) wins every year sure goes a long way to building a dynasty.
  2. Jets?: I guess. Buffalo had a decent season last year, but nobody knows how or even why. The Fins are perennially very bad and showed no inclination to get any better in the off season. The Jets have the new hotness at quarterback and there seems to be one a year that “surprises” everyone and leads their team to a big improvement. Perhaps this is the Jets year.
  3. Bills: If the Bills don’t repeat their improbable competence from last year, they should at least win enough games to keep them out of the basement this year. Honestly, though, does anyone know what to do with any of these teams besides the Patriots?
  4. Fins: Okay, so I’m 99.9% sure that Miami will end up in last place, so maybe it’s just the Jets and the Bills that I can’t tell the difference. If any of you says anything about the Jets wearing green and the Bills wearing blue, I will not be held responsible for my actions in response.

AFC West

  1. Chefs: People are high on the Chargers and even the Raiders for some reason (I’ll get into that reason when I get to them), but Andy Reid is the Chefest of all the coaches in the entire league. I promise that isn’t an intended fat joke. Completely by accident. I just mean that he wins in the regular season and then farts out in the playoffs. Who does that remind you of? If you said Marty Schottenheimer, give yourself a no prize.
  2. Chargers: The Chargers are in LA? Really? When did that happen? I guess I need to start paying more attention to this league. Then again, what would become of my “completely ignorant” previews? I think I’ll just settle for being pleasantly surprised by little things like the Chargers being in LA. Okay, preview time. The other team in LA is much more LA than this one, but with Phil Rivers as their QB, they can potentially make some noise.
  3. Broncos: The last time I paid attention to the Broncos, Peyton Manning was their QB. I’m pretty sure that they had a plan for when he retired, but damned if I know what that plan was. Given that fact, I’m pretty sure that it hasn’t worked out for them and it might be a few years until they’re relevant again. I still think they’re going to be better than the Raiders.
  4. Raiders: Earlier I mentioned some reason that has people thinking highly of the Raiders. That reason is that Jon Gruden, average coach and below average TV commentator, has taken over as their coach. If this sounds like familiar news, take away the below average TV commentator part of it, and we are 20 years ago. Except we’re all 20 years older. This is the worst episode of Quantum Leap ever.

AFC North

  1. Steelers: The Steelers winning the north are only a slightly less sure thing than the Patriots every year. Once in a while, the Bungles or the Rats bubble up and the Steelers have a down year. I don’t think this is that year. While this isn’t my father’s Steelers team, their offense is dynamic as hell and their defense is just good enough to keep teams in check.
  2. Bungles: The Bungles are the summer reruns of the NFL. Marvin Lewis just keeps on coaching. Andy Dalton just keeps on Andy Daltoning. And that Burfict guy just keeps taking dumb penalties at key points in the game. It’ll all be just enough to keep them in the playoffs discussion for most of the season.
  3. Rats: The Rats are a mess. While Jimbo sleeps in the treehouses of potential recruits, his brother John has carved out a respectable little legacy down there in Ballamore. However, other than elite quarterback Joe Flacco, what do the Rats really have? Maybe an exciting start followed by a crash back to earth midseason?
  4. Brownies: According to Simmons and Sal, people are excited about the Brownies. I can only assume this is because people are impressed by what they see on television, no matter the evidence to the contrary. After all, 2016 showed that. Sure, the Brownies have that guy that gave that great speech and the coach that gave the not so great speech, but this is the same team that has gone 1-31 over the last two years. This is not a Cinderella worst to first story waiting to happen.

AFC South

  1. Jags: The Jags hold a special place in my heart. Before this year, the last time I was in a fantasy football league, I won the league with Blake Bortles as my starting QB for the entire season. I was not invited back the next year. I also grudgingly respect the Jags for what they  were able to do against my Steelers in the playoffs last year and wouldn’t mind a rematch.
  2. Titans: The Titans are an intriguing team. They’ve taken over the Texans spot as the team from the AFC South that gets the most hype (and maybe even too much). I must be falling for it this year since I think that they could potentially overtake the Jags for first place. All because of Magic Man Mariota.
  3. Texans: I fell for the Texans hype for a few years. As the previous section shows, I’m now falling for the Titans hype. What’s funny is that with Watson as their quarterback, I should probably like the Texans more than I do. Oh well, if I get too much correct, then I’ll lose my completely ignorant label.
  4. Colts: Andrew Luck is back, but what does that mean? In a division with 2 potentially very good quarterbacks and one that is passable, will Luck even be that much of a factor for this team? What the heck happened? While we were all busy, the glasses came off of the AFC South and now they’re the beautiful girl we should have seen the whole time.

The Verdict

This doesn’t seem like much of a year for surprises in the AFC. The AFC South has the potential to be very exciting and things might get weird in the AFC West. Oh, heck, what am I saying? Things probably will get weird in the AFC West. Until the Steelers prove that they can beat someone in the playoffs, it’ll probably be the Golden Boy representing in the Super Bowl again this year. Come back in a couple of days (or maybe even tomorrow) for my Completely Ignorant NFC preview. Have to get that and my picks for the first week done before Thursday, after all.