Tag: Teaching

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Success

Prologue

Today, I write about success. I must admit that when it comes to my career, I don’t have much experience with success. I (only partly) joked recently that many of my teaching jobs came with a three year expiration date. At the risk of spoiling the journal entry, I fought that expiration date this time and actually won.

By won, I mean that I received a contract for a fourth year. This happened in spite of earlier pushback from administration and not (again) getting my license to teach. But, more on all of that later. I also started this blog as an attempt to “share the natural beauty of our world”. Granted, much of that beauty exists only in the states of Massachusetts and New Hampsire (sometimes Vermont and Rhode Island, rarely Maine, and almost never outside of New England), but as I’ve often parroted from my younger brother (paraphrased), “If you want to travel, why aren’t you travelling? Why wait to win the lottery? There’s plenty to see in your metaphorical backyard if you just know where to look.

The Adventure (Thursday 31 March 2022 Part 1)

In my last post (in which I promised to write more and then promptly ignored for another month plus), I promised more frequent updates. The only time I ever kept that promise was when I used the daily prompts last year. And, so, at around the same time, I attempt to daily blog. I thought I mentioned low level drug dealers in that post. Perhaps, I saved it for the preview blurb.

I went back to an area I hiked before in the snow. I never found the geocache in that area and I wanted to see if it was because of the snow. That often happens and you will notice a familiar refrain with recent updates. I parked in the parking area and started down the trail. A man suddenly appeared, as if he materialized out of thin air (he actually just walked out from behind the outhouse, but I sometimes have a flair for the dramatic), and stood there. I saw him talking on his phone, so paid him no mind.

I continued down the path. He seemed to follow me, but sometimes paranoia gets the better of me, so I paid no attention. As I searched the area, pretending to take pictures (my common cover for muggles while caching), he circled around to the other side of the trail. I decided to take a walk down the rest of the trail to the water to see if he might just leave. I took the two pictures at the bottom of the gallery, spent some time just looking at the water and then went back to find the cache.

When I got back to the cache location, he was nowhere to be found. Good, I thought, he’s gone. I can search in peace. Then, similar to the beginning of this adventure, he appeared out of nowhere at the top of the hill where I searched. Okay, now this is weird. Is this guy going to kill me? I learned later from a student that a murder actually happened in that area, so that’s fun.

I went back to pretending to take pictures as he walked down the path. What is he doing? Trying to get my scent to make it easier to hunt me? Whatever, time to find this cache. Nope, wrong again. He’s back Okay, this is definitely where I get murdered.

The Adventure (Thursday, 31 March 2022 Part 2)

“Pretty area.” He said. He’s attempting to get me to drop my guard to make it easier to murder me.

“It is very pretty.” I replied.

“Is the pond ice out?”

“Yes, there’s a little bit on the shore over there, but other than that, I didn’t see any. I came down here a couple of weeks ago when there was still snow and it was all ice.”

He nodded. Then awkward silence for a few minutes. “Are you a cop?”

Okay, do I say yes because we are in rural New Hampshire and “Blue Lives Matter”? Or, do I tell the truth and see where this takes me? “No.”

“Oh,” he stammers. Then, “I just saw you on your phone.”

“Just taking pictures.” I show him my lanyard with ID. “I’m a teacher and I work at the local school over there.”

More awkward silence. Then, in a halting voice, as if he’s not sure he even wants to ask, “Are you, uh, are you looking for, uh, are you looking for something?” I don’t remember the exact words, but he definitely implied that he carried drugs and wanted to sell them to someone, hopefully me.

I chuckled. After thinking he wanted to murder me, offering me drugs was a relief. “No, man, I’m good. Thanks.”

“Oh, uh, my mistake.” He still stammered and stumbled over his words. Then he ran off back to his car and left. Finally alone, I quickly found the geocache and went on to find a couple of others nearby. Never a dull moment in my life.

The Prompt: Success

The Prompt: Tell us about a time where everything you’d hoped would happen actually did.

If you kept current with my adventures this year, you may be surprised that I use this year as a measure of success. When I wrote someone to say, “I’m officially employed by Conant next year”, they replied, “Wasn’t it you who put forth you wouldn’t?” Well, yes, but as I explained, I never thought I’d make it past that three year expiration date for much of the year. It looked bleak.

Then, something changed. Actually, many things changed. Those things led to me getting offered a job working in STEM instead of exlusively math and ultimately, I made it beyond the expiration date. If I finish my licensure for next year, I have many more options open to me. I can stay where I am. Or, I can jump ship and come back across the border to make 15 to 20 thousand more in Massachachusetts.

To me, that’s the epitome of success. I now have full (or hopefully will after this year) agency over my career and will have actual options open to me. Every other time, my options were slim to none and I just took what life gave me. I never considered money as a marker to success and I always (well, mostly) feel sucessful as a father and a husband, so that’s all that remained. *knock wood* Now is a good time to be me.

Epilogue

I only made it through one day of adventures in this post. That’s okay. The next week is limited in scope. I spent much of it sick and had little to no energy to do anything besides lying down on the couch. So, I will be back and current before you know it. Until tomorrow!

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Rocking Stones: Day Number 110

Prologue

Today’s visit to Rocking Stones served once again as therapy. Even though I wrote less than two weeks ago this time, much happened in that short of a time. First, I’m seriously considering a new job. I got my observation report from that observation mentioned in that article. It was not great. In fact, it is looking more and more like it is the beginning of the end. It mentioned reminding me of my “role and responsibilities as a teacher”. I don’t think I need to tell you that is both demoralizing and dehumanizing. But, I just did.

And, so caused quite the stir by posting this on social media. Several colleagues reached out and I thank them for that. As I said to several of them, they are one of the only reasons that I continue to fight for the stupid job. I thought this might be my actual chance at redemption. That failed and now I’m done. Past time to move on..

How did I go from “guess I’m in this for the long haul” to “past time to move on” so quickly? Well, as Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around every once in a while, you could miss it.” Let me slow things down and tell you about my adventures in Shutesbury and then Rocking Stones.

Wednesday’s Cache: MA NET 14.2 (Day Number 109, Cache Number 346)

I planned this one the night before. As I scrolled through the map on the Geocaching web page, I saw this one hadn’t been found for over a year. While this should put me off, geocachers take pride in “resurrection” caches. Plus, I planned a back up in case it went missing in the year plus. Eventually I ended up on another of our patented undermaintained dirt roads that is evntually going to destroy the undercarriage of my tiny Honda Fit.

Not this time, though. So, I parked in a muddy area and hoped that I would be able to pull back out when done. Okay, it’s a 3/4 mile hike. Doing a quick calculation in my head, “At an average pace, it takes a human about 15 minutes to walk a mile. So, this should take about that.” A few things. (a) It is 3/4 mile as the crow flies. (b) While hiking, I thought, “Oh boy, the return trip is going to be a bear. It’s all uphill on the way back.” So, the terrain isn’t at all flat.

I tried uploading a video to show some peaceful rain drops, but it didn’t work so it’s a lame sign.

As a result, my 15 minutes tops hike turned into more like a half an hour to 45 minutes. That’s still not bad, but the scenery at this time of year was very brown. To add insulto to injury, I found almost no running water other than a small stream. As many of you know, I seek running water. I never knew why that was until a few weeks ago hiking with my wife. We found a large waterfall while hiking a place called Bear’s Den in New Salem. Funny enough, it is different from the place called Bear’s Den in Athol.

Small stream found at the beginning of the hike.

Why, though, running water? What I discovered at New Salem Bear’s Den is that running water calms my thoughts. It slows down my brain and lets me live in the moment. Life according to Ferris Bueller and all. “Wait, what’s this? Is that running water I hear in the distance? Double time it, soldier!”

Bridge ahead. Oh, talk about a troubled bridge over running water. Well, here goes nothing.

Finding this cache was one of my most daring (?) adventures in a while. It made me think of when I was a kid and me and my friend Rusty played “Pluto Explorers” near the frozen creek behind my house. We both ended up soaked, but clearly that’s now a core memory for me. I wonder what ever happened to Rusty.

In any case, these caches are usually hanging from a tree. Looks like it is that tree near the shore. Wait, is it? No. Hmm, they wouldn’t hide it over *pause for effect, realization hits* there. Crap. Yep, there it is. Watch the video for the rest of the story.

The rest of the story. Oh, and I did get my boot wet on the return trip, so I sort of lied.

Yesterday’s Cache: Rocking Stones x2 (Day Number 110, Cache Number 347 and 348)

Geocaching introduces me to new places nearly every single day. Granted, I live in rural New England, an area steeped in history and hidden gems in nature. I found this hidden gem, again, while scrolling the Geocaching map on my phone. Bonus! It’s an Earthcache in the Rocking Stones Area in Barre. I think I explained Earthcaches before, but here’s a quick reminder. An Earthcache leads the geocacher to a, for lack of a better term, hidden gem in nature and asks them to perform a sequence of tasks related to the geology of the area. Bonus! There’s a traditional cache up here, too. Two found in a day for the first time in a while. This one actually required me to do some measurement and math. How could I say no?

The obligatory selfie to get credit. The rock formation in question. The hiding spot for the other cache.

Admittedly, today’s adventure was less adventurous than yesterday. However, I measured that bottom rock with a 6 inch ruler and my finger as a spacer to get the area. I arrived at 28.875, because of course I did, and an estimate of height of the overall formation at 10-12 feet. The person who listed the cache came back to say the “actual” answers were 27 and 11 feet. Not bad for a half foot ruler.

Epilogue

I meant to post this yesterday, but got distracted by the new Spider-Man movie and then finishing up the Hawkeye series. So, it goes up on Christmas Eve. I have my adventure for today planned. I want to find two more today to get up to 350 before Christmas as a goal I just made up for myself. They are part of series of dam caches, so running water guaranteed. No idea how to celebrate Christmas yet as a geocacher, but stay tuned for that.

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Fill In The Blank

Prologue

The Prompt: Fill in the Blank – Three men walk into a bar…

They all say “ouch”. Honestly, you think the second and especially the third guy would see what happened and avoid the collision. Must be that they aren’t all that bright or dexterous. But, seriously folks, how about that weather? I know that spring often takes her time here in New England, but this is ridiculous. I took two classes outside one yesterday and one today. Both days they complained about the cold.

This may or may not be a selfie from one of those outside classes.

It seemed like it got warmer today as the day went on. I never tested that theory by taking any other classes outside. Sorry, guys. To be honest, I never considered going outside again. I forgot to mention that both of my work computers broke over the last week. So, I couldn’t cast anything during class. Also, I cancelled my remote class again. No laptop means no camera means no class. So, I spent most of the day obsessing about the fact that I had no technology in a time when technology is essential in the classroom.

The Set Up

The Prompt: Fill in the Blank – Three men walk into a bar…

I refuse to finish this joke that usually masquerades as a bigoted comment against race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. Okay, Snowflake, you’re so smart and funny. Why don’t you reclaim the joke then? Sure, I could rewrite the joke so that it contains none of that, but sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Besides, I’m not that good of a joke writer. If anyone else wants to try, be my guest.

Note: I got distracted yesterday. I think I mentioned that some students found out that I wrote the two books. Well, I let it slip during class one day. They found the novel online and started reading it. Since I’m more proud of the short stories than the novel, I brought in my proof copy for them to read. The student that I allowed to read the stories first came to me yesterday to tell me how much she enjoyed the first story. Consequently, I wanted to read them again to see if they held up. And, so, I never finished this entry last night.

Sorry about that. There’s bound to be growing pains. And you know once summer hits, I’ll be updating on a daily basis. So, just wait a few weeks and this page will become a vibrant and valuable member of the 2 Guys Gaming network. If only I could say the same about that main page.

The Adventure

As you see, I took a break from visiting bodies of water around the Jaffrey/Rindge area and instead chose to hike a trail. I pass this one during my commute, though, so I’m still only exploring more or less familiar haunts. Give me time. I went to watch a couple of innings of the softball and baseball games at a nearby school and I saw some other possible adventures in the neighboring towns. As always, stay tuned.

This particular stretch of hike only took about 45 minutes total there and back. I passed the Market Basket in town and also saw some signs leading to restaurants and gas stations. The local snow mobile association helps to maintain the trails, so that makes sense. Also, I thought the trail wasn’t particularly scenic. More utilitarian. Even so, I enjoyed the time outside and want to explore the trail further when I have time. As we say, stay tuned.

The Journal

Fill in the Blank: Three men walk into a bar…

After another day, I’m no closer to coming up with a punchline for this other than the sarcastic one and, some would say, the “cancel culture” one. But, honestly, screw off if you seriously stopped reading after that comment. I don’t need you in my life. Didn’t Jay-Z teach you anything? Always punch up. Especially in comedy. That’s why all of these conservative “comedy” shows always fail. They’re constantly punching down.

With all of that being said, I can laugh at myself. One of my students cultivated an image around an ultra conservative. I’m not sure how accurate it is or if it is just mostly for the LULz, but I treat it like the latter. This student mimicked the sticker on Woody Guthrie’s guitar, but his reads, “This machine kills socialists.” Another student, perhaps aware of my socialist bent, tried to save me, but I got a laugh out of it. Sure, it’s derivative. Of course, it’s offensive. It’s also funny as hell in context. Maybe I should pick this student’s brain for a new punchline.

Epilogue

Well, the kids discovered that I’m posting on Instagram again. I’m not sure if it translates to them coming to the page yet. If so, they’ll pretty easily be able to figure out who I’m referring to in each of my posts. I hope they understand that it’s all in good fun and I mean everything as a compliment and not an insult. Even so, I also understand that not everyone is comfortable being referred to online. So, if you find anything here that offends, let me know and I’ll be sure to change it.

But first, I need you to fill in the blank…Three guys walk into a bar

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I Want to Know What Love Is

Prologue

“I Want to Know What Love Is…I Want You to Show Me…” –Foreigner

Yesterday, I waxed (pun totally intended) poetic about trying to evolve the definition of the word candle. Once again, my journal prompt page gave me a ridiculous assignment that I more or less punted. I’m happy to report that today’s prompt is much more straight forward and easy to complete. They want me to tell you what love is.

If it has to be stuck in my head, it has to be stuck in your head

Yesterday, I stopped and scouted one of the bodies of water that I pass during my morning and afternoon commute to work. Having looked it up, I now know that it is, in fact, neither a pond nor a lake, but a reservoir. I learned that when I looked up public access for another of the bodies of water that I pass (I mistakenly said that I only see two, but there are at least three, which is why I didn’t say the “other” body of water.

The Adventure

This is, in fact, a pond. Looking it up on the map, it is called Pool Pond. As it is a pond instead of a reservoir, it is more developed and I saw no public access from 202. Thanks to the NH Fish and Game, I found the rooftop/boat access off of Mountain Road there. When I pulled up, a truck with a fishing boat was there. I thought about asking the guy if he was entering or exiting, but I chickened out and got in his way to take my pictures because he was entering the lake. Sorry, random guy. I hope you catch all the fish.

Today’s adventure rivals even yesterday’s for being not much of one. Hell, yesterday I found and hiked a bit of a trail along the shoreline. I saw no such trail today other than the road, so I just wandered around the boat access for 5 or 10 minutes to take my pictures. I still haven’t put my tackle box in the car, so no fishing even. However, like the reservoir yesterday, I plan to come back with my kayak and explore further. Stay tuned.

The Prompt

Prompt: We each have many types of love relationships — parents, children, spouses, friends. And they’re not always with people; you may love an animal, or a place. Is there a single idea or definition that runs through all the varieties of “love”?

I said that after the difficulty of the previous few posts, this one will be easy. Five or so years ago, I wouldn’t have said that. That’s not to say I wasn’t surrounded by love then. I had my wife and three kids, my in laws (including a niece who would only calm in my arms some days), my mother and two brothers, my extended family like my cousins, aunt, and grandmother. My aunt and grandmother since passed away. Not sure why I wrote that last part. Damn stream of consciousness.

The Back Story

I–uh–I lost the thread for a little bit there. I worked two and sometimes three jobs, culminating with the two years before I started at my current job. Taught at HCC and then went to Northfield Elementary School and Pearl Rhodes Elementary School to work as a custodian. I woke up and left after everyone left for school and got home after 11:30 most nights. Before that, I tossed around boxes at UPS for a Christmas season. That saw me wake up at 4:30 every morning. I got home at a more reasonable time most days, but was so tired that I often crashed on the couch for several hours in the afternoon/early evening.

It ground me down to an exposed bundle of nerves and caused tension in every aspect of life. I might still be there if not for a few happenings. First, I got laid off from the custodial job. That one hurt. I very much enjoyed that job. 8 hours of listening to audiobooks and not having to interact with people? Where has this job been all my life? Okay, not bad. I still have HCC. Yeah, about that.

I lost a class. As an adjunct professor, I got paid based on the number of credits I taught. And, so, I lost income there, too. Things happen for a reason people, you win this one. I applied at several schools, got three interviews, three call backs, and decided on a school. Why? As I’ve always put it, they offered the most money.

The Journal

That move back to high school after about a decade since my less than illustrious exit from the previous high school I worked at gave me time to reflect on a great many things. I realized that I am highly empathic. I feel things on a grand scale. Good, bad (especially bad, which is dangerous and can present as a spiral of depression), but never indifferent.

I know how that sounds. And, yes, I used to use that as an excuse. However, in my reflection, I have instead used it as a strength again. This time I come into it fully aware that it might blow up in my face. Any time I joke about not showing up or leaving work, a colleague says, “You’re basically saying that you will never teach again.” “Yep.” I reply. I think it unnerves him that I’m so nonchalant and certain about it.

Okay, so what does this all have to do with love? Well, at the beginning of the school year, a student tragically died. I only knew him for a month, but he made a bit of an impression on me. For the rest of the year, I told every one of my classes how much I loved them. A bit awkward for a math teacher to say? Perhaps, but like I said. I feel deeply. And, I do genuinely care about them.

Epilogue

I think I have more to say about what love is. At the very least, I feel like I’m only getting started on the topic. However, it’s creeping up on 9pm and I have some graduation cards to write for my seniors. As much as I’ve said it’s going to be a long 6 weeks, I know in 5 I’m going to be looking forlornly at them and wishing for a few more. So, for now, let’s leave it at that and I’ll see you all tomorrow.

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Morphing Candle ?

Prologue

Mighty Morphing Power Rangers? Forgive me for my dated reference. However, one might argue that Power Rangers are timeless. Honestly, though, the only reason I used them was I couldn’t think of another morphing reference. Butterflies? I suppose. I feel like they are even more trite than Power Rangers. It’s the literary equivalent of getting a Chinese symbol that doesn’t translate to what you think.

I think these are literally the characters for “chicken” “noodle” and “soup” from my rudimentary research.

What are we actually morphing? Prompt: Language evolves. The meaning of a word can shift over time as we use it differently — think of “cool,” “heavy,” or even “literally.” Today, give a word an evolutionary push: give a common word a new meaning, explain it to us, and
use it in the title of your post.

This makes me two things. One, the morphing of “literally” makes me angry. We already have a word for what literally morphed into. I suppose, now that I think about it, that it’s kind of cool that we created a contranym out of literally. Still, I’m going to stay mad about it. The other thing is, “Stop trying to make fetch happen.” But, this is the prompt, so let’s try to make “fetch” happen.

The Adventure

The featured image depicts one of the lakes/ponds that I notice during my morning and afternoon commute. As of this writing, I’ve passed it almost 200 times. During the winter, I see huts dragged onto the ice for ice fishing. Though I finally got out on the ice again a couple of times this year, I haven’t fished this body of water. Even today, after wandering along a trail that followed the shore, I went back to the car to grab my rods. This is the part of the story where I say I forgot my rods, right? Wrong! The rods are in the trunk. However, I neglected to put my tackle box in there. So, still no fishing here. Another day, perhaps.

Instead, I stood on the shore and watched a bird of prey (perhaps a hawk) circle above. A momma and poppa couple of geese herded their four goslings across the water. I caught two Pokemon in Pokemon Go (A Karrablast and a Tangela). Overall, while not necessarily an “adventure”, I will be back either to fish or kayak or both. Stay tuned for actual adventures from this lake/pond.

The brief interlude, in spite of the lack of “adventure”, was much needed. It wasn’t a bad day. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, it was a pretty good day. During our lunch time (some students hang out in my room during lunch block each day), a student asked, “How’s everyone’s mental health” or something along those lines. I can confidently say that mine is pretty good right now. I’m in a good place. It has been a long and weird year, but a select group of students has helped to keep me grounded and finding what I love about teaching again. I try to tell them as often as possible what they’ve done, but I know I’m not thanking them nearly enough. I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be able to repay them for what they’ve done for me this year. If you find this, simply thank you.

The Journal

In spite of the good day and overall good state of mind, I needed the time to decompress. Teaching took a lot out of me today. The students were energetic, which is great, but they weren’t focused on school work, so it took a lot of energy to refocus them and keep them focused. I hope my exhaustion wasn’t read as anything negative.

Back to the task at hand. While I enjoyed my time wandering around the shoreline, I got no inspiration for a word to morph. Instead, I drove home and worked out while watching Last Chance U. Neither of those activities brought me much inspiration either. So it is that I ended up at Random Word Generator, pressing the button a few times until it landed on “candle”. I passed on a few like “risk”, “propaganda”, and “breathe”.

Why candle? Honestly, it comes from World of Warcraft and the kobold saying, “You no take candle!” So, I thought I might be able to come up with some sort of alternate definition using that connection. So far, nothing comes to mind. Hey, I genuinely tried with this one. Honestly, though, how the hell am I supposed to answer this one? If anyone comes across this post and has an answer, by all means, give me an idea.

Epilogue

Yesterday, I wrote about success and failure. Today I, once again, failed. But, I honestly tried. Given the weirdness of this particular prompt, I actually succeeded far better than expected. Even so, perhaps the topic of morphing is still relevant. Over the last two years, I morphed in several ways. I started working out and walking and got into better shape. I faced some of the tragedy of my past and came out stronger for it. A few times, I told people at work that they’d not recognize the me from 2 years ago. While I still have some ways to go (and that can be said about just about anyone), I am in much better place than I was. So, hey, I successfully morphed the word “Shawn” and that’s more important than any stupid candle.

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Success

Prologue

Well, I fell off the wagon once again. No new entries in this page for 3 days on this page. The main page lies abandoned once again for over a week, maybe two? I never recorded to get the YouTube page for 2 Guys Gaming running again. This whole exercise, so far, is an exercise in failure. I feel even lower now because I was listening to Marc Maron yesterday and he gave his speech about how because there are no gatekeepers anymore that every Tom, Dick, and Harry thinks they can start a podcast and become famous. Well, then how do I define success in regards to this page?

That hit close to home…

I never claim that I want either page to bring me fame or riches. In fact, I often say that I don’t care one way or another if either happens. I won’t lie and say that I would turn either down if they do happen. However, I write because I like to write. If others find what I write and enjoy it, then great. Either way, I continue to write. Even if it doesn’t lead to eventual success.

The Journal

Before I consider success, let’s talk one more failure. No “outdoor adventure” today other than a trip to the dump and then one down to Honest Weight to pick up some beer. Okay, now to talk about success. Question: Tell us about a time where everything you’d hoped would happen actually did.

Now, I know that these questions are designed to spark thought and discussion. However, after the first few I answered, they became quite difficult to answer. This one makes me think of the time I was in counseling and the counselor said, “Tell me about one good thing that happened this week.”

I paused for a good 20 seconds and stammered a bit before saying, “My department head bought me a coffee when we took our trip to UMass. I guess that was pretty cool.” The counselor responded, “That’s pretty sad that it took you that long to simply come up with that example.” I’m sure they weren’t that abrupt and judgmental, but that’s how I remember it. So, I now struggle (after having come up with several examples of failure) to remember a time where everything went according to plan. Trust me when I say it isn’t because there are so many examples that I can’t narrow it down.

Instead, as part of my self deprecation and sabotage, thinking of times I failed is much easier than considering times that I’ve succeeded. I guess if I think of a recent example, I can talk about my Financial Algebra classes on Thursday. Admitted to the students (because of my stupid absolute honesty) that April went less than stellar. I lost the thread of the classes too often.

And, so, I took some time over break to put together Google Slides shows of two sections from the book. I also gave them homework. Now, you might say, that sounds exactly like how a traditional class should run. And, therein, is where the problem in April lie (or is it lay? Not sure and Grammarly didn’t help). Either way, I expected the plans to be met with some resistance. Naturally, some students ignored me as they always will. However, for the most part, I got compliance from all of them.

Epilogue

They tell us to celebrate the small successes. For most, my class actually acting like a class for one day surely counts as a small success. Even I can admit that it doesn’t inspire much confidence in my abilities as a teacher. But, it was an improvement over what happened in April and overall it was a success. I will see tomorrow if it was just a one time occurrence or I can build on the success to make the end of the year an overall success.

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