Category Archives: Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Great, Good, Decent: DC Comics October 2020

Leave a comment

Introduction

DC Comics 2020 is a bit of a misnomer just as Marvel Comics October 2020. First, it is now technically November. Second, I got behind in my reading and reviewing. These are the comics that I received from DCBS in both September and October.

Sue me. Things have been a bit busy at work this year.

However, as I wrote in the Marvel Comics review this (technically last) month, I’m committed to getting back on track by the end of the year. While I committed to that last year as well, I learned some tricks during the quarantine that will help this time. The only weird thing is that you will now be treated (?) to two straight weeks of comics. Think of it as a proper reboot of the page. Comics fans love reboots. Right? Right?!

The Great

Action Comics 1024 and 1025 (Brian Michael Bendis and John Romita Jr.): I’ve made no secret of my severe distaste for Superman. If my younger brother Tim ever reads the page, he might disown me for the amount of times I’ve said it. However, BMB has been doing his best to reverse that opinion. Right now, he is succeeding with Action. This story is fun and focused. That was missing from the Leviathan story.

Batman 96-99 (James Tynion IV and Jorge Jimenez): After reading issue 96, I texted Chris and said, “I’m really enjoying Joker War.” He agreed that it has been really good. This is the story that I’ve been waiting for from Tynion since he took over the title. I hope it continues.

Justice League Dark 25 and 26 (Ram V and Amancy Nahuelpan): I wept when they took Tynion off of this title. It was probably my favorite DC book since Rebirth. It took a few issues, but they found a worthy successor. Ram V is great on this book and I want this to be long term.

Wonder Woman 759-762 (Mariko Tamaki and Mikel Janin): I’ve been looking forward to this since I saw the announcement in the previous issue. Then, she wrote one of the vignettes in the Detective Comics 1027 anniversary issue. Now, I finally get to experience Mariko Tamaki on Wonder Woman. It’s worth the wait and hype. Love it.

The Good

Catwoman 24 and 25 (Sean Murphy, Blake Northcutt, et al): Catwoman has been iffy ever since Joelle Jones left. Ram V filled in nicely for a few issues, but then it went a bit off the rails. It was just inconsistent. I’m not ready to declare Sean Murphy the savior, but these two issues were fun.

Detective Comics 1025 and 1026 ( Peter J. Tomasi and Kenneth Rocafort): Detective Comics disappointed me more than the main title. I knew that Tynion would eventually find his footing. Not so for Tomasi. However, Joker War has focused him and this book. It might be great if not for the main title, which is absolutely killing it.

The Decent

Aquaman 62 and 63 (Jordan Clark and Marco Santucci): As I’ve been looking at the books on Previews World (also where I grab my cover shots), I’ve noticed that many of the creative teams have been reshuffled because of the Covid break. It might explain why it has been so inconsistent. This book is a fine War for Atlantis, but it’s not what I hoped from this story.

Justice League 50-53 (Various, but it looks like they might have settled on Joshua Williamson and Xermanico for the DM tie ins?): Perhaps no title has suffered more this year than good old Justice League. Scott Snyder seemed to have put it at the bottom of his priorities. After they took him off the title, it became a fun team title again. Then, it wandered in the darkness for a couple of months. Death Metal might serve to focus it similar to how Joker War did for the Batman books.

Superman 24 and 25 (Brian Michael Bendis and Ivan Reis): BMB has not successfully changed my mind about Supes in the main title. He keeps introducing new characters that should add to the mythos and make the character more appealing. None of them have. I just don’t care. If I get rid of a book (and I have no plans to do so because I get so few books lately), this is the first to go.

The Verdict

DC Comics October 2020 is much stronger than Marvel this month. There were a couple of good books that I considered making great and the only decent book that I truly did not enjoy was Supes. Join us next week as we do back to back comics in an attempt to get the page back on some sort of predictable schedule. See you in a couple of days for Spawn 310 and 311.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Great, Good, Decent: Marvel Comics October 2020

4 Comments

Introduction

After a month, we’re back with Marvel Comics October 2020 review. I was just trying to organize my thoughts to see if I could get this thing back on track by the end of the year. I’ve been okay about updating over the last couple of weeks, so maybe I can keep that momentum going through the end of the year. That sounds familiar because I said the same thing at the end of last year.

Except he didn’t say half of the things he said, don’t you know?

As I organized, I noticed that I set October aside as horror month once again. And, once again, it passed without any discussion of horror games. Also, at the beginning of the summer, I started writing a series of horror short stories that got forgotten for another year. I mean, really, this whole October has just been lackluster. So, let’s try to forget with some Marvel Comics October 2020.

The Great

Captain America 21-23 (Ta-Nehisi Coates and Bob Quinn): I’ve made it abundantly clear in the past that I don’t like these “ripped from the headlines stories”, but this one has me hooked for some reason. Unlike some of the other books that have tried this, Coates layers on a much better metaphor that makes it entertaining instead of exhausting.

Immortal Hulk 36 and 37 (Al Ewing and Joe Bennett): I will be saying this for the next year or so, but I can’t believe they are killing this comic. It is the most consistently entertaining story of the current Marvel era. I hope they reverse this decision.

Maestro 2 (of 5) (Peter David and German Peralta with cover by Dale Keown): When I saw that my favorite Hulk writer was working with my favorite Hulk artist (even if it was only for covers), I knew that I had to have this book. There was the definite possibility that it could have not lived up to the hype. But, it very much did. Looking forward to the rest.

The Good

Amazing Spider-Man 46-49 (Nick Spencer and Marcelo Ferriera): Sin Eater story is fine, but it’s already getting a bit old. Gobby’s back and the Spider-Family is after Peter. Things are setting up nicely for a showdown in Legacy 850 next month.

Avengers 35 (Jason Aaron and Javi Garron): I have been liking the Khonshu story and the Tony and Carol “Raising Arizona” side story is entertaining as hell. Now, they’re setting up for an epic battle next issue between Khonshu and the Panther.

Venom 27 and 28 (Donny Cates and Juan Gedeon): When Chris and I talked a few months ago, he agreed that my giddiness about comics was only due to the fact that they were back after the Covid19 hiatus. I think that’s correct. I don’t see this being the fun story that I thought it was after reading issue 26.

The Decent

Fantastic Four 22 and 23 (Dan Slott and Paco Medina): More proof that the glow faded. I don’t think that Empyre is as exciting anymore. This is still a solid issue and I will buy Empyre later. Don’t tell Chris, but it will most likely be a trade.

Thor 6 and 7 (Donny Cates and Nic Klein): A let down for the end of the previous arc. It got progressively weirder and lost me when Thor ended up as the herald of Galactus. Now, Thanos is involved in the story somehow. The next arc is a 2 part interlude. Hopefully, whatever’s after that gives the king of thunder a good story. Otherwise, I might stop collecting this title.

X-Men 10-12 (Johnathon Hickman, Leinel Francis Yu, et al): Chris likes this title. I liked the previous title with Hickman in charge, too. These issues weren’t my favorite. Not sure why the X-Men are involved in Empyre. Now, another event looms on the horizon. Hopefully it captures some of the magic again.

The Verdict

Marvel Comics October 2020 are a decidedly mixed bag. Initially when I started to rank the books for this article, I found that I rated them too highly. So, Chris was right. Some of my joy a few months ago came because comics were back after being gone for so long. That’s not to say that the books are bad. Far from it. Overall, I enjoyed them. Just not as much as when they returned from the Covid19 break. Until next month, Excelsior!

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

We Love Detective Comics 1027: Another Amazing Milestone

Leave a comment

Introduction

As I was looking through my comics to organize them for review purposes, I saw that Detective Comics 1027 was a super-sized anniversary issue. I thought, “What a weird number for an anniversary issue. What anniversary could they possibly be celebrating?” I should have known that it was 1000 issues since the introduction of Batman to the title. Of course, that made me make the mistake of looking for the first Detective Comics.

I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. I guess I am naive when it comes to these things. This looks racist AF.

The typical 1930s racist America displayed in comics form notwithstanding, Detective Comics has been one of the comics that I’ve collected since the beginning of Rebirth and my introduction back into comics. At first, it was James Tynion IV that kept me reading the book. When he left for the main Batman title, there was a bit of a learning curve for the new writer. But, I think that Joker War has focused him and the last two issues I read were great.

As far as Detective Comics 1027, it is a series of vignettes similar to the 1000th issue. Therefore, I will treat this review similar to that one. I will forgo my usual “Great, Good, and Decent” format and simply give a sentence or two review for each of the stories.

Blowback by Peter J. Tomasi and Brad Walker

This was a fun way to show off some of the most prominent members of his rogue’s gallery. The pay off was kind of lame, though I missed “The End” and thought they were doing a heroes reunion, too.

The Master Class by Brian Michael Bendis and David Marquez

Instead, it was this story that started with the sidekick reunion. This is a typical BMB “talkie” with a decent ending. Batman even gets “sentimental” with his former sidekicks.

Many Happy Returns by Matt Fraction and Chip Zadarsky

I thought this was Dini. It wasn’t, obviously, but it definitely had his art style and sense of humor. Told the story of the tradition of Joker giving Bats a “birthday” present once a month since the beginning. I have to admit that I like these additions to the mythos.

Rookie by Greg Rucka and Eduardo Risso

True to form, Rucka tells the story of a female protagonist. This one is a rookie cop on the Gotham force who ends up quickly making her mark and catching Batman’s eye. This was a good, even if only ancillary Batman story.

Ghost Story by James Tynion IV and Riley Rossmo

A really cool story about ghosts that ties in with Batman’s parents and 2 characters that I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. I don’t think I’ve said this before (*wink wink*), but I miss Tynion on this series. Sure, his main title run is getting better with Joker War, but I wish he was still here.

Fore by Kelly Sue Deconnick and John Romita Jr.

Typical middle of the issue lull. Not a great story. No real recognizable characters. Especially after the Tynion story, this one rings hollow.

Odyssey by Marv Wolfman and Emanuela Lupacchino

Interesting filler story about Bruce’s grandfather and a ship that his company sailed. It ended up sinking and taking many priceless heirlooms with it. Ever since, Wayne Enterprises has been looking for it. Similar to the Fraction story, I liked the extension to the Bats mythos.

Detective #26 by Grant Morrison and Chris Burnham

Not sure I 100% get this story. Seems to be an alternate history (or maybe an alternate introduction of Batman) where an aspiring hero gives up the ghost (pun intended) because Bats comes in to steal his thunder.

Legacy by Tom King and Walter Simonson

I was excited to have TK writing Bats again. I should have known better. He always uses this format to write experimental stories. This one felt arbitrary and disjointed but maybe I just don’t know enough about the character featured.

As Always by Scott Snyder and Ivan Reis

This is more like it. Sort of. This is a dream team and Snyder gives us a glimpse of his both his time on Bats and also the Justice League title. The story, overall, is weak but I did enjoy the little Easter eggs that he included.

Generations: Fractured by Dan Jurgens and Kevin Nowlan

This was an elaborate set up for another comic with the title Generations. That reminded me of the Marvel comics before Legacy. Sure enough, the end of the story showcased an older style art. It’s not quite the same as the Marvel generations, but I’m still intrigued by the idea.

A Gift by Mariko Tamaki and Dan Mora

DC introduced their new Wonder Woman writer in the pages of this book. This is also an introduction to another story, this one continuing in the very pages of this book. Ms. Tamaki knocks this one out of the park. I can’t wait to see her Wonder Woman.

The Verdict

Overall, Detective Comics 1027 is a fun read. There are some lulls, but that’s to be expected with so many writers and artists involved in the book. I didn’t like this one as much as Detective Comics 1000 or even Action Comics 1000, but it was still full of fun stories. It serves as a fitting tribute to the Dark Knight and his 1000 issues of Detective.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Love Letter to Spawn 308 and 309

1 Comment

Introduction

Spawn 308 and 309 arrived simultaneously a couple of months ago. Therefore, after a Zendikar review that took far too long and a detour into the NFL for a couple of days, we are back to our bread and butter on the page. That’s right. It’s time for some nerd content. More specifically, I’m going to catch up on the comics I’ve missed the last couple of months and write some reviews.

Trying to catch up be like…

I’ve already read Spawn 308 and 309. I know, no large feat. However, it feels like I actually accomplished something simply by reading those two books. Now, I can try to plow through the other two dozen or so that I have from the last two months. That might seem like a massive undertaking since it took me a couple of months just to read the two Spawn issues. However, Tuesday is my lighter day teaching and I will have time (theoretically) to devote to reading. But, first, to finish this review of Spawn 308 and 309.

The Great

Ken Lashley’s Art: I have had a love/hate relationship with the art in Spawn since I’ve come back to comics. Sure, there have been some other books that I haven’t enjoyed the art, but this one has had some of the most varied art over the last couple of years. But, I texted Chris and said, “I like Ken Lashley’s art. It has a bit of Capullo vibe.”

The Good

Uncle Todd’s Writing: I was excited to have Uncle Todd back and writing for the old Hellspawn. I learned, again, that you should be careful what you wish for. Uncle Todd is good in small batches. However, when asked to carry a story for much longer than a few issues, he loses the thread a bit and things start to unravel. I’m not saying that’s happening here just yet, but the potential exists.

The Decent

The Story: Speaking of writing, I just can’t get into this story. I liked the “reboot” of issues 300 and 301. Ever since, this story of time traveling, cross overs, and Heaven’s War on Earth is just leaving me cold. These latest issues were slightly better. I’d rather they go back to the creeping terror of the “Dark Horror” story.

The Verdict (Spawn 308 and 309 are fine)

I titled this article, “Love letter to Spawn 308 and 309”. I wouldn’t say this reads so much as a love letter. Then again, they say that if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, then they’re yours. Otherwise, it was never meant to be. I don’t think that I need to set Spawn free again just yet, but I’m certainly not looking forward to new issues like I was before the pandemic.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

NFC First Quarter 2020 Year in Review

1 Comment

Introduction

Time for the NFC first quarter 2020 year in review! After some trouble updating the page on a regular basis, it looks like I might actually get content posted two days in a row. It is also somewhat timely content again. Yesterday, I got the AFC version posted. I promised to have the NFC version posted today. Got some grading done earlier, so I don’t feel guilty about school work right now.

I think I speak for a lot of teachers when I say that it’s my least favorite part of teaching.

I do have some yard work to do. Plus, my neighbor is helpfully actually doing his so that I feel more guilty about it than I normally would. Yay for living in a society. However, it hasn’t made me feel guilty enough yet to actually do the work. Heck, I have until tomorrow since I have the day off from school.

But, I have a paper to write for grad class and more grading to do for school. Also, I have my own deadline for the Spawn review to keep the momentum of the page going. If I had to guess, that’s going to get put on the back burner, but maybe I’ll actually get around to the yardwork today and writing some of the paper, too. Sorry, thinking out loud on paper. Let’s ignore all of that for now and talk about the NFC first quarter 2020.

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles (1-2-1): We’re #1! By default, but still Award. Some pundits thought that the Cowboys might have an actual decent to possibly good team this year. I might have heard that they were being considered as Super Bowl contenders. Well, that obviously hasn’t happened. The East might just give us a sub 500 division winner. That’s fitting for this stupid year.

Washington Football Team (1-3): Dan Snyder is a Huge Dick Award. Daniel Snyder finally capitulated to the snowflake justice warriors at FedEx and retired the racist nickname for his team. In true Snyder fashion, he thumbed his nose by refusing to pick another mascot and just called them “Football Team” for this year. What a dick.

Dallas Cowboys (1-3): We are overrated and NFL talking heads are overpaid Award. I already talked about the Cowboys in the Eagles section. Since they don’t really warrant any more discussion, I will crap on the NFL talking heads again. Yes, you might be able to make the argument that I’m jealous. That doesn’t take away from the fact that the economy surrounding sports is completely broken.

New York Giants (0-4): Shame There’s no Professional Football Team in New York Award. These guys are cowinners of this award. Heck, now that Barkley is hurt, what possible reason do either the Jets or the Giants have for continuing this season?

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks (4-0): There’s A Football Team in Seattle? Award. This is a reference to a conversation I had several years ago when I was working at Yankee Candle. A coworker said something about the football team in Seattle and I replied, truly confused, “There’s a football team in Seattle?”

Los Angeles Rams (3-1): I Thought These Guys Were Exposed as Frauds Award. After a stellar start as coach, it looked like the league might have figured out that Sean McVay basically only had one formation in his playbook. A 3-1 start doesn’t necessarily reverse that, but they are in good shape right now.

Arizona Cardinals (2-2): Kyler Murray isn’t Quite the Second Coming of Mahomes Yet Award. Everyone got very excited about Kyler Murray this year. They thought that he might have ascended into Mahomes territory. Heck, I even fell for it, texting Chris if I should take Murray or Wilson as my QB in daily fantasy. Thankfully, he set me straight and told me to take Wilson.

San Francisco 49ers (2-2): Ghost of Colin Kaepernick Award. They’re not 0-4, which would make this a better storyline. However, they did blow a lead in last year’s Super Bowl and Jimmy G is developing quite the injury history. Maybe, just maybe, they will face justice for their treatment of Kaep.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers (4-0): Father Time is Undefeated? Award. We are told that in the Father Time is undefeated. It looked like that might have finally been the case last year for Tom Brady. It’s not like he’s tearing it up this year, but he was having a bit of a resurgence. Meanwhile, Rodgers just keeps slinging it without any sign of slow down.

Chicago Bears (5-1): The King is Dead. Long Live the King Award. I made a comment in the Bills section at Mitch Trubisky’s expense. It’s a shame because I was really rooting for old Mitch to finally figure it out. He didn’t and now they’ve moved on to Nick Foles. Foles has proven time and again that he is the perfect short term stop gap, so it’s not all bad in Chicago this year.

Minnesota Vikings (1-3): If He Dies, He Dies Award. While discussing the impact of Covid19 on the league, Kirk Cousins said something along those lines. Does Kirk Cousins really have the clout to be going on so about such issues? What I mean to say is, other than his family, would anyone mourn Kirk Cousins? I know that got dark and I apologize. But, am I wrong?

Detroit Lions (1-3): Matthew Stafford is still in the League? Award. I’m pretty sure I already made my annual Matt Stafford joke. But, the fact that I literally just had to Google to see if his name was, in fact, Matt Stafford says a lot about his status. The only question now is who will take his place when he finally does retire?

NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2): TB Are Now His Initials and Those of His Team Award. Tom Terrific took his travelling side show down south for this year. I’ve been having fun trolling the Pats fans on my Facebook feed because they were convinced after week 1 that TB would end up 0-16 and they’d be able to gloat over it. Not so fast, folks.

New Orleans Saints (2-2): Drew Brees is Surprisingly Bigoted Award. I’ve always liked Brees. He’s a short guy who is excelling at a job that short guys don’t often excel. But, then this whole focus on the family crap came out and I just can’t root for him anymore. I’m glad the Saints are struggling this year.

Carolina Panthers (2-2): Sweet Caroline Award. There’s no reason for this title other than the obvious dad joke pun. The Panthers have made absolutely no impact on me whatsoever this year. They are just part of the amorphous blob that is the NFL in the South. Maybe we should do a trial run of this separated states of America by allowing the South to secede from the NFL.

Atlanta Falcons (0-4): How Many Ways Can We Blow A Lead? Award. I’m not sure what bad juju the Falcons unleased. However, they’ve been cursed ever since taking a 28-3 lead on the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years ago. They’ve since dialed it up to 11 this year. They’ll be fun to watch simply for the train wreck possibility.

The Verdict (NFC First Quarter 2020 has been entertaining so far)

While I’m not sold on the AFC yet this year (other than the Chiefs), I like what I’ve seen in the NFC. Things are a bit crazy. Even the bad teams are fun to watch. The worst division in football is the NFC East, which is fitting because they were pumped up for so long as the best simply because of the legacy of teams. The Racists are no longer going by that name. All in all, it’s been an entertaining NFC first quarter 2020 and I can’t wait to see how it plays out going forward.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

AFC First Quarter 2020 Year In Review

2 Comments

Introduction

Welcome to the AFC first quarter 2020 year in review! I promise to be back to nerd content next week when I finally give my reviews for comics from last month and this month. Yes, unfortunately comics got the short end of the stick due to my decline in free time because school is kicking my butt so far this year.

Kink shaming aside, this is what it feels like.

So, until we get back to the nerd content next week, I will go through the weird start to the NFL season. In reality, with how weird 2020 has been, it could have been predicted that the NFL season would be weird, as well. And, honestly, it’s not like it has been that much more weird than some of the more recent seasons. In any case, let’s talk about the AFC first quarter 2020.

Note: As you will discover, I’m going to format this as an awards ceremony. I got the half baked idea yesterday afternoon while driving home and listening to Simmons and Sal. That’s where most of my half baked ideas seem to happen.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills (4-0): This is what Trubisky Should Have Been Award. Chris and I were texting about the Bills last week. He’s bitter because the Pats have had to play with the corpse of Brian Hoyer and unknown quantity Jarrett Stidham during Cam’s quarantine. Meanwhile, it looks like Josh Allen has finally turned the corner and they have Matt Barkley and Jake Fromm as insurance. It really is an embarrassment of riches right now for the Buffalos.

New England Patriots (2-2): We’ve Been Good So Long That We Don’t Know How to Handle Mediocrity Award. This one goes out to the fans. Not the fans fans. Both my father in law and Chris are reasonable fans who have been willing to admit that TB12 and “In Bill We Trust” are idiotic concepts. I’m talking about Sully and Bawls who regularly call into radio shows and post status updates after the first week about what a mistake Brady made by moving to a warmer climate and potentially better team.

Miami Dolphins (1-3): Where’s Tua? Award. Regular readers of the page know that I’ve had a man crush on Tua since his first appearance at Alabama. I’ve literally watched his legend grow over the years. I don’t understand why Miami is sticking with Fitzpatrick. Maybe they are just waiting for the inevitable magic to run out. Perhaps they’re skittish because of Tua’s injury history. Either way, I hope we see him soon.

New York Jets (0-4): Shame There’s no Professional Football Team in New York Award. I know next to nothing about the Jets. Have they even been relevant since the “Butt Fumble”? I promise that wasn’t just a reason to say “Butt Fumble”. Okay, it actually was. BRB, I’m going to Google “Butt Fumble”.

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs (4-0): Can We Just Give Them The Trophy Now? Award. Okay, that was fun. Side note: “Butt Fumble” seems to have taken on an NSFW side meaning. Don’t indiscriminately Google “Butt Fumble”. As far as the Chiefs, I know that things can happen, especially in 2020. However, in the old world, the Chiefs would be the juggernaut that nobody else can touch. How do you beat them unless they just get bored and start playing 7 on 11 or something. Hell, with Mahomes, they might still beat some teams.

Vegas Raiders (2-2): Who Still Calls them Oakland Raiders? Award. I’m actually surprised that I didn’t call them that on accident. Hell, I still call them the San Diego Chargers sometimes. I just think it’s awesome that sports leagues are avoiding all pretense of being legitimate competition and embracing their status as simply a front for gambling.

Denver Broncos (1-3): Was Larry Testaverde Busy? Award. I stold that joke from Sal. Deal with it. Maybe it will get me some exposure. It hasn’t worked so far, but only a matter of time, right? I mean, they started Brett Rypien in an NFL game. I mean, I had to look that up. All I knew is that he had the same last name as a mediocre NFL quarterback from the 1980s.

San Diego Chargers (1-3): I Always Liked Phil Rivers–Wait, What? Award. So, Phillip Rivers is no longer on the team. I think in my NFL preview, I made a Phillip Rivers joke as the Chargers preview. Oh, that wasn’t intentional. Even after having just talked about it, I still wrote the San Diego Chargers. 32 teams is far too many to keep track of every year.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers (3-0): It’s Not Our Fault the Titans Had a Covid19 Outbreak Award. That was the empathetic response by one of the Steelers when they postponed the game and moved it to a common bye week later in the season. This team is making it more and more difficult to remain a fan.

Baltimore Ravens (3-1): Am I a Ravens Fan? Award. Having grown up a Steelers fan, this is a weird time for me. As mentioned earlier, I find that there are more and more reasons to dislike that team. By the same token, Lamar Jackson is another fun player to watch. I think I might be rooting for the Ravens more than the Steelers at this point.

Cleveland Browns (3-1): How The Hell is Cleveland 3-1? Award. Look, I have been one of the biggest Baker Backers. However, even I am willing to admit that the guy stinks on ice. He’s just not a good quarterback. He has OBJ for crying out loud and he threw for 165 yards last week. OBJ should be good for at least that many yards a week.

Cincinnati Bengals (1-2-1): Get Him A Body Bag! Award. My wife and I finished season 2 of Cobra Kai last week. Now we have to wait a few months for season 3 to release. How does that relate to the Bengals? Joe Burrow is going to end up in the hospital before the end of the year. They might need to bench him just for his own safety, especially against the Ravens and Steelers.

AFC South

Tennessee Titans (3-0): Maybe We Can Use Coronavirus to End the Season Undefeated Award. The Titans have already had one game postponed due to an outbreak. Every day, they seem to have more and more players test positive. What if they just call off the rest of their season and finish 3-0? What a fitting end to 2020 that would be.

Indianapolis Colts (3-1): How Did Phil Rivers End Up Here? Award. When I learned that Phillip Rivers was no longer in San Diego (or Los Angeles for that matter), I assumed that he retired to spend more time with his wife and 9 kids. Then again, now that I read that last sentence again, I can understand completely why he would not do that.

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-3): The Blake Bortles Memorial Award. Fear not fellow Bortles Believers. He’s not dead. Apparently, he’s on the Broncos, so he might even get a chance to start at some point in the season. It’s just that Leonard Fournette said something along the lines of having never played with a good quarterback when he signed with Tampa Bay. Like our man Bortles never handed off the ball to him. For shame, Leonard. For shame.

Houston Texans (0-4): Well, it was a Good Run Award. After being everyone’s it team for seemingly a decade only to implode every season, the Texans actually had a bit of a decent run last year. That seems to all be over so far this year. Thank goodness. It will make it that much easier to send this division to Europe when the NFL expands in a few years.

The Verdict (AFC first quarter 2020 has been fine)

The AFC first quarter 2020 hasn’t been much to write home about. I came into the season not really all that excited about football. Texting with Chris got me slightly more interested. I’m back to the point where I’ll check out a game or two for a couple of minutes each week and I am doing daily fantasy (20 bucks won a couple weeks ago!). So, it’s kept my interest somewhat. But, right now the Chiefs just look like they’re unbeatable and I don’t even have the fun of hating the Pats this year. Thanks for reading my AFC first quarter 2020 preview and join me tomorrow for the NFC.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Completely Ignorant 2020 NFC Preview

Leave a comment

Introduction

Yes, in spite of the fact that this 2020 NFC preview is being written after the conclusion of the first week of games, it is still completely ignorant. How can that be possible? Well, I didn’t watch a single game this weekend. Sure, I texted with Chris and checked out a few scores and highlights, but I’ve already forgotten most of that.

Besides, as KG told us, “Anything is possible!”

In my AFC Preview, I said that I hadn’t missed sports. It turns out that’s not entirely true. Between listening to Sal’s podcast last Friday and texting a few times with Chris, I’ve come to the conclusion that I sort of missed football. Obviously not enough to watch any games or get this article out in a timely manner. Nevertheless, I will display my ignorance and finish writing this up. On to the 2020 NFC preview!

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys – Both Sal and his buddy were high on the Cowboys during their NFC preview. Of course, theirs actually came before the season. Then again, they are getting paid to do theirs. I’m actually paying money to do this. Think of that next time you’re concerned with the quality of the page.

New York Giants – I said in my AFC preview that it’s a shame there are no professional football teams in New York. My beloved(?) Steelers then went out and tried their hardest to make the Giants look like one in the first game. Like Bobby Boucher’s mom said, “Foosball is the debil.”

Philadelphia Eagles – I don’t have anything to say about Philly. Well, that’s not true. I have two things to say about Philly, but only one is even remotely related to their football team. One, living in Massachusetts, when I used to tell people that I’m from Pennsylvania, they’d almost universally pose Philly as their guess. Two, I have a friend who was absolutely distraught that they lost to Washington.

Washingon Football Team – I don’t have to write *redacted* anymore. Sponsors, most notably FedEx, finally pressured Dan Snyder to join the 18th century and retire the racist nickname. Snyder, of course, dicked it up an named the team as you see. Yes, that’s the official name of the team this year. I’m kind of happy that he inadvertently gave the team some European flavor by naming it similar to actual futbol teams. Hey, you take the small victories against these pricks.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals – Lamar Jackson, Patrick Mahomes, and Kyler Murray. Poor Larry Fitzgerald played with stiff after stiff and had to drag the corpse of Kurt Warner along just to make it to a Super Bowl. Now that he’s an old guy, he gets Kyler Murray. Sometimes life just isn’t fair, true believers.

Los Angeles Rams – The Rams went from the hot new thing to hot garbage in almost record time. Even in a league that wants to be known for parity, this team boomeranged back into obscurity quickly enough to give us all whiplash.

San Francisco 49ers – Earlier this year, as I was planning (well, not really, and it might even make me sound worse that I planned these disastrous articles) this article, I had to look up who lost to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl. I was a few seconds away from having to Google both teams in the Super Bowl. Football just isn’t a priority anymore. Man, this whole section just revealed me as a fraud.

Seattle Seahawks – Speaking of frauds…not really, I just usually use those awkward moments as opportunities to segue into something less uncomfortable. I suppose I have by moving onto Seattle. Then again, all I have to say about Seattle is that I’m a Sounders fan and they won the MLS title last year. Go Seahawks!

NFC North

Chicago Bears – I know the name of an actual player on the Bears. Mitch Trubisky. Also, I know Khalil Mack is still on the team. So, that’s two players. Slowly digging my way out from under the pile of awkward.

Detroit Lions – So, I had my yearly, “Matt Stafford is still starting for the Lions?” realization. Seriously, it’s tradition like Halloween or Christmas at this year. I just hope that when it isn’t happening all the time, I will give it the proper somber remembrance it deserves.

Green Bay Packers – Somehow, Green Bay went 13-3 last year with little to no fanfare. Every time I hear that statistic, I am shocked anew. Seriously, if you had asked me what Green Bay’s record was, I’d have said 9-7. You might be able to talk me into 10-6. But, 13-3? That’s wild, Man.

Minnesota Vikings – Kirk Cousins in their quarterback. Hey, actual football knowledge! But, I’m about to sabotage even that much. I only know who their quarterback is because of some random dude I started following on Instagram when I first tried to promote the page that way. So, I guess I’m saying I don’t have much hope for the Vikes this year.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons – Atlanta is one of the weirdest teams in recent history. They have a great QB, a great WR, a serviceable RB usually, and a defense that should allow them to contend. They were just in the Super Bowl a few years ago. And yet, they usually stink on ice. Now that I’ve said that, they’ll probably win the Super Bowl this year.

Carolina Panthers – Cam is with the Pats this year. That is literally the extent of my Panthers knowledge. That can’t be good in a division that has Drew Brees, Matt Ryan, and now Tom Brady. Okay, I felt sorry for the Panthers, so I looked up their QB. Teddy B. I mean, he’s not bad, but I certainly wouldn’t put him in the same tier as those other guys.

New Orleans Saints – Some people are picking them to win the Super Bowl. I’m not falling into that trap again. This team is snake bitten. They’ll be great in the regular season and then some voodoo curse will knock them out of the NFC Championship. I suppose that’s fitting for a team from New Orleans.

The Verdict (The 2020 NFC Preview doesn’t have me as excited for the season as the AFC)

It’s two weeks late, but the 2 Guys Gaming Completely Ignorant 2020 NFC Preview is finally here. I will say that the NFC doesn’t have me as interested as the AFC. Sure, it’ll be neat to see what Tom Terrific does in Tampa. And, that might be the only story line I care about over there in the NFC. Oh, watching the Cowboys crash and burn and hearing Sad Sal every week might be cool.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Completely Ignorant 2020 AFC Preview

2 Comments

Introduction

Welcome to our completely ignorant 2020 AFC preview. This year’s edition is not just a clever (?) gimmick. A couple of days ago, Chris texted me, “I forgot that the season started yesterday.” I replied, “I actually forgot that the NFL existed until I saw people whining on the internet about kneeling.”

Chris hit right at my weak spot and said, “I’m just happy to see Mahomes picking up where he left off.”

That isn’t an exaggeration. My friend Craig often said, “I’m worried that people will realize just how much they haven’t missed due to this pandemic.” One of those things that I haven’t missed is sports. I thought that I might have a problem with no sports, but I haven’t watched a single NBA, MLB, or NHL game since they returned. I did keep an eye on the MLS tournament, but couldn’t tell you who won or who they beat.

Therefore, without further ado (and armed with limited information), join me for my completely ignorant 2020 AFC preview. Oh, it’s also the first Sunday of the season and one game has already been played. By the time I have posted both this and the NFC preview, week 1 will most certainly be completely done.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills – The Bills became my darling team last year. I even had delusions of them possibly knocking the Pats off of their perch as the best team in the division. That didn’t happen and then they laid an egg in the playoffs against the Texans. Maybe this year is the year.

Miami Dolphins – I have nothing to say about the Dolphins. I suppose, that simply by virtue of mathematics, there have to be teams with losing records. It just feels like a league that promotes parity as much as the NFL does shouldn’t have teams that are as bad as the Dolphins have been for the last decade or so.

New England Patriots – This is usually where I say, “Eff the Pats”. It’s not that I don’t still believe that. It’s just that they’re much less offensive without the Golden Boy under center. Cam Newton taking over pushes the needle even more. This season is going to be confusing.

New York Jets – It’s a shame there are no professional football teams in New York right now.

AFC West

Denver Broncos – I mean, one of these teams has to finish second in the division behind KC. With Von Miller out, it’s hard to think of Denver as anything other than also rans.

Kansas City Chiefs – The Chefs have my current man crush on the team. They made two epic comebacks in the playoffs last year against the Texans and the 49ers (another true story that will cement my status as completely ignorant is that I had to look up who the Chefs played in the Super Bowl in January) to win the Super Bowl and there’s really no reason that they can’t repeat this year. You might say, “What about a Mahome’s inj–” to which I’d reply, “You shut your whore mouth.”

Las Vegas Raiders – I think I might have had a running gag last year about the Raiders moving to Vegas. Well, they finally did. Remember when I said that they had an ineptitude all their own? Well, instead of using Vegas (like the Golden Knights and giving the Scrabble friendly abbreviation VGK), they’re going with Las Vegas. Remember when these guys were the bad boys of football? If you do, you’re probably old like me and right in the intended demographic for this page.

Los Angeles (Why not San Diego?) Chargers – The Chargers are the worst run franchise in the NFL. That’s saying something with the Raiders being in the same division and quite inept themselves. The only news I care about related to the Chargers is if Phillip Rivers had another kid. Two more and he has a starting XI.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens – I genuinely like Lamar Jackson. So much that I actually found myself rooting for the Ravens. Like I said earlier about the Patriots, this NFL is quite a strange experience for me.

Cincinnati Bengals – I was going to make an Andy Dalton joke. Not wanting to look too ignorant, I Googled Andy Dalton and then the Bengals and saw that Joe Burrow is the quarterback there. If not this year, then soon, I might finally be able to stop feeling sorry for the Bungles and hating them again like every Steelers fan should.

Cleveland Browns – I really want Baker Mayfield to be a good quarterback. Like, really, really want that to happen. He’s not, but I won’t give up the dream. I think I’m just bored of the Steelers-Ravens rivalry being the only storyline in this boring division.

Pittsburgh Steelers – Speaking of the Steelers, I have several times over the last couple of years turned my back on my childhood team. Like I say, I’m just bored of them. Plus, Ben Roethlisberger’s name got dragged into the Stormy Daniels affair and reinforced that the guy is a douche.

AFC South

Houston Texans – I really wanted the Texans to lose to Buffalo. That didn’t happen. Then, I wanted them to beat New England. That did happen. Then, Tom Brady wen to Tampa Bay. That was unexpected. I don’t know. They’ll probably win the division again.

Indianapolis Colts – Last year, Andrew Luck made the decision to protect himself and his mental health by retiring from football. The always supportive NFL fans gave him the benefit of the doubt and allowed him to retire into quiet solitude. Just kidding, they treated him like a leper and called him all sorts of names. Never change, mad sports nerds.

Jacksonville Jaguars – My wife and I have been watching “The Good Place”. I tried to get her to watch it several times. She finally did and she really likes it. What does this have to do with the Jaguars? Well, one of the characters is from Jacksonville and obsessed with Blake Bortles. And, you all know my history with Blake Bortles.

Tennessee Titans – I have a Facebook friend who is a huge fan of the Titans. She’s from Texas and liked them since they were the Oilers and moved. Other than that, I’m an advocate of getting rid of the AFC South.

The Verdict (2020 AFC Preview Wrap Up)

I’m not at all excited for the AFC season. I wasn’t to begin with, but thought that by writing this 2020 AFC Preview that it might make me more excited. Other than Mahomes, there isn’t much here for me to care about. Maybe the anthem protests will persist and I can have fun trolling mad sports nerds on social media.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

High Score episode 6

Leave a comment

Introduction

We have arrived at High Score episode 6. The last episode of the first season. I say first season because I remain hopeful that there will at least be a second season. More on the episode later, of course, but let’s talk about why there should be at least one more season for a bit. Naturally, the first reason is because the show was very good. Honestly, do you need another reason? Fine, way to make me do my job.

Except this isn’t my job. It’s my hobby. And I might not even be all that good at it.

Aside from the fact that the series was entertaining and I’d like to continue to be entertained by nostalgia, they stopped with the advent of the 3D era. The last game they talk about is DOOM. That game came out when I was in high school. I’m not going to go into how long ago that was, but I often talk about being an old man gamer, so you can do the math. No mention of the N64 or Sony vs. Microsoft. Granted, that wasn’t as exciting as Nintendo vs. Sega, but it bears mentioning at the least.

Heck, they only gave passing mention to some of the greatest games of the era and missed the boat on others, like Metroid. Maybe there will be a special episode or season 3? That’s probably asking too much.

Into…the 3rd dimension! (On Game Boy?)

We start our journey on the Game Boy. Yes, that Game Boy. The very same one that you remember (or probably don’t unless you are old like me) from your childhood. The green and black monochrome dot matrix screen. 8 bit graphics and midi sound effects. Also, like I mentioned in a previous article about episode 3, it had one of the best Final Fantasy games in the series.

Speaking of Tetris, this was actually my introduction to the game.

Well, this company was attempting to show that you could do 3D graphics on current technology. I’m not sure why they chose the Game Boy. Hey, I was watching while working out. So, some of the details are missing. The point is that they got a working demo on the Game Boy.

They so impressed Nintendo with their work that they offered them a job to bring a similar experience to the SNES. I may be missing critical information. However, the overarching theme is there. Argonaut begat Game Boy 3D which begat the SNES and Pilotwings. In turn, Pilotwings begat Wolfenstein that begat…

Can you play DOOM on this thing?

The majority of the episode revolved around DOOM. I even got a bit of a nerdgasm when they revealed that they talked to the man, John Romero, for pretty much the whole segment. You young nerds might not know. But, for us oldbies, John Romero is a legend.

Some of y’all have grown up with consistent broadband internet on which to embarrass your friends and enemies. Not so for us. We had to “dial in” on a “phone line” and were excited when the speed increased almost two fold from 33.6k to 56k. None of us knew what those numbers meant, but we knew that 56 > 33.6.

And, we liked it! Yep, really leaning into that old man demo with a relevant cultural image here.

Aside from ushering in the age of online gaming, DOOM and id Software helped to popularize other trends like shareware. They gave you part of hte game for free, got you hooked, and then made you pay for the rest. No, they’re really not doing much for the old video games as a proxy for drugs narrative.

But, on a more positive note, they did open the code of the game. I know I’ve talked about this before. But, if you’ve ever played DOOM or its various clones or even World of Warcraft, you know that the games can be modded. (Can’t forget about my favorite recent moddable game, Minecraft.) Having that sort of control over a game gives it infinite replay value.

Heck, entire new games have been developed as mods to existing games.

The Verdict (High Score episode 6 is an awesome conclusion to the season)

Yes, you can tell from that subtitle that I’m tipping my hand yet again. I want another season of this show. I mean, who wouldn’t? Other than episode two, which was a bit slow (and I now understand that might have been a by design), the show was solid from beginning to end. Sure, High Score episode 6 ended it with DOOM, which is right in my wheelhouse. Nevertheless, if you are an oldbie nerd like me, you will enjoy this series. If you haven’t already.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

High Score episode 5

Leave a comment

Introduction

For some reason, I forgot the topic for High Score episode 5. I guess there’s just a lot on my mind with the start of school. When I saw the teaser at the end of episode 4, I was excited. Then, it just left my mind completely. And, so it was when the episode started, I said, “Oh yeah!”

Once upon a time, there were these things called “arcades”. They were kind of like stores. Except they didn’t sell anything. You traded your bill money for quarters, which you then put into a machine that let you play a video game. “Okay, Grandpa, why are you telling us this?” Well, the subject of High score episode 5 was fighting games. During the height of the fighting game renaissance, I spent an obscene amount of time and money in these “arcades”.

Yes, much of it was due to Mortal Kombat. More on that later.

Street Fighter – “That old grey mare…”

I can’t remember if I used the old grey mare metaphor in one of the other articles. I know I was considering it for the Atari article, but went with Grandpa instead. Even if I have, it is apt in this case. Many these days say that Street Fighter sure ain’t what she used to be. But, let’s focus on the positive.

Like Final Fantasy, Street Fighter got its inspiration from anime. When they talked to the artist for the game, he mentioned how anime is not viewed as art. Or, it wasn’t. He wanted to help people see the potential of the art form. Apparently, he and his contemporaries succeeded. At least in my case. I certainly consider anime to be an art form. Then again, I’m easily impressed by any creative process.

Seriously, though, if you can’t appreciate the beauty of this picture, then there’s no hope for your soul.

Takahiro Nagano – “Living the Dream”

One side note before moving on. I forgot to mention in the previous section, mainly because my notes only said “Chun Li – Madden” and I couldn’t figure out what that meant. What it meant is that they put a female character into Street Fighter II (and then expanded the female roster with future editions) similar to adding different skin tones to Madden. Gaming is supposed to be inclusive, mad nerds.

Now, for Takahiro Nagano. His life mirrored mine in many ways. I mean, other than winning a gaming championship and starting his own esports team, we are basically kindred spirits. He found himself in a dead end job that he didn’t find much inspiration from. So, really, when you think about it, I’m basically him. Another note from this section is “training montage”, a reference to the introduction to his esports team, which took on the form of the old 80s training montages a la Karate Kid or Rocky. I got a good chuckle out of it.

Since we have so much in common, I will give a shout out to my brother from another mother. Link. <–Green “Link” that isn’t trying to save Zelda.

Night Trap – “Where’s the Naked Ladies?”

I’m doing these out of order, but that’s intentional. Always save the best for last. I’m not sure if you will agree with my assessment, but I have good reason for it and you can’t change my mind! I remember Night Trap. I might have even had a friend who bought the game. See, it was supposed to be this risque horror game, but production issues caused it to be neutered beyond belief into a not quite campy enough imitation.

That didn’t stop Congress from trying to neuter the game and the industry further. As games started to become more “realistic” and feature more violent content, folks like Tipper Gore and Joe Lieberman (If you don’t know him, say his name like Droopy the dog. If you don’t know Droopy the dog, Google him, then say Joe Lieberman’s name like him. Then, Google Joe Lieberman and have a good laugh.) got their panties in a bunch. And that, boys and girls, is why we have ratings on our video games today.

Never ones to pass up an opportunity to (a) star f**k and (b) look like complete idiots in the face of advancing technology, think the Facebook hearings but with Nintendo execs instead of the Zuck.

Mortal Kombat – “Or, should I say, ‘MORTAL KOMBAT!'”

So, I said I was saving the best for last. Similar to Street Fighter, you might say that Mortal Kombat hasn’t been good since (insert your favorite version here) and that’s fine. Up until recently, I might have even agreed with you. However, Mortal Kombat 11 is a ton of fun and I wasted many an hour over the last year trying to collect as much as I could in the game.

MK also helped to usher in the “video games are warping our kids’ brains” era. But, I come here to praise John Tobias (who is interviewed for the series!) and Ed Boon. Given the limited resources that they were working with at the time, they made a game that has been with me for over 25 years and has been passed on to my kids.

And, it was able to survive whatever the hell this is.

The Verdict

High Score episode 5 has come a long way from the low of episode 2. I regained my faith in the series and even had it boosted by the Sega episode and this one. The entire series is an amazing walk down memory lane. In addition, we have met some new faces along the way. I’m feeling a bit melancholy that there’s only one episode left, but it should pave the way for some actual factual retro content that’s been promised for weeks now.