Category Archives: Digital Playground

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Digital Playground

Collector’s Corner Vol.1: The Madness Returns

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New year! New column! During my absence, I picked up a good number of new video games thanks to Christmas, my birthday and my collecting addiction rearing its ugly head again. Yes, the same ugly addiction that I spent an entire article preaching about how I kicked its ass..has crept back into my life. Well kind of. It’s not as bad as before and I’m actually playing what I’m buying this time around. With that said, my game room/man cave/ nerd den has been slowly filling up over the past month so I thought that going forward; I will share some of the recent additions to my game collection with you guys.

Hyperkin Retron 2: For years I’ve seen the various Retron consoles on Amazon.com and have always scoffed at them. No way was I EVER going to play a single game on a…bleck.. 3rd party console. Plus, no matter what version there always seemed to be some bad reviews concerning certain games not working on them and the sound being sub par at best. Welp, long story short, there was one under the
ol’ Christmas tree for yours truly and I have to say that I’m actually really impressed with this console. It plays SNES and NES games without having to blow into the carts for 5 minutes like a jackass (Yes, I replaced the 72 Pin in my original NES, and no, it wasn’t a dramatic improvement). As far as games not working goes, I own a decent collection of NES games and I haven’t run into one yet that didn’t immediately work. I also really like this console because it cuts back on the amount of wires I have behind my TV and saves on plug space in the power tree (one console as opposed to two) which is essential if you are like me and want all of your consoles to be “Plug and Play”.

South Park: The Stick of Truth (360): I’m a huge fan of South Park, but to be honest I didn’t have high expectations for this game when it was first announced. I was pleasantly surprised. Don’t be fooled by the South Park skin, at this game’s core lies a really solid JRPG. It also doesn’t hurt that it’s hilarious and makes you feel like you are actually in an episode of the show.

Final Fantasy Anthology (PSX): Speaking of JRPG’s, my girlfriend picked up this gem for me. Final Fantasy 5 and 6…you just can’t go wrong. After I complete South Park I plan on diving into FF5.

Deathsmiles (360): A bullet-hell shooter (I’m a fan of the genre), where you choose one of 5 girls (the Xbox mode gives you the choice of an extra character) who each possess magical powers and, well, basically you shoot the crap out of anything that moves, including a giant cow, a pissed off tree, demons, pig chefs, cyclops, lizard men, dancers, dragons, and even Death itself. It’s a great game for when you feel to need to unwind with a game that doesn’t require much
thought.

Persona 4 Arena (360): I can honestly say that I have never played any game in the Persona RPG series, or even had the desire to try one, but I can never resist a 2D fighter. I’ve played this one for only about 40 minutes or so but I enjoyed it and I look forward to breaking this out on the next “nerd night”.

Dead Island (360): I kept meaning to pick this title up but just never got around to it, now that I own it, I can see why it was so popular. It’s an insanely fun and gory shooter. And there are zombies. Good times.

Neo Geo Battle Coliseum (PS2): A 2D fighter consisting of characters from Samurai Shodown, Fatal Fury and other classic Neo Geo games. Now that I own this title, I’m only 1 game away from achieving my goal of owning every 2D fighter for the Playstation 2 (Now I just need to pick up Arcana Heart).

That wraps up this month’s edition of Collector’s Corner. Listen up loyal readers; I’m always on the lookout for any “hidden gem” games to add to my collection. By that I mean any game that didn’t get media attention. If you know of any games that fit that description please let me know in the comments below.
Thanks for reading!

Digital Playground

Currently Playing…Vol.9

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d3x360

First of all, I just want to apologize to all of you for letting things drop
for the last couple of months. Work and preparing for the holidays took a bigger chunk of my time than I thought it would, which led to me backing off from writing for this glorious website. Well, good news…I’m back!

<Crickets>

Hearthstone: (gasp!!) I know, I know, I feel so dirty saying it but since
Christmas I have been playing a few games every week. A little background info for you: In the spring I used to play Hearthstone on my Mac but soon became..uh..disenchanted.. with the game and decided that it just wasn’t for me. Then after playing the World of Warcraft card game, I completely deleted Hearthstone. Well for Christmas this year, my sister bought me a Kindle HDX and, well, you
can only play so much Fruit Ninja so I grudgingly downloaded the Hearthstone app. I have to say that it’s amazing how much more I like Hearthstone on a tablet. The game itself still isn’t the greatest thing in the world to me but for some reason it feels less like a waste of time when I don’t have to fire up the Mac and log in to Battlenet. I can just tap the icon and it loads right up. I’m still not a daily player and probably will never be but before the tablet I hadn’t played a game in months. I also made the game slightly more enjoyable for
myself by not playing Ranked past Rank 20, which is just enough to earn the new card backing awarded at the end of season. Anything past 20 and I’m getting smoked by people who have multiple legendaries in their decks and clearly play a ton more than I do (and I suspect spend actual money to buy packs, something I
refuse to do). At least at 20 or above when I lose the games are all close for the most part. So, yes, at the moment, I am in fact playing Hearthstone and actually kind of enjoying it.

Dragon Quest IX (DS) (yes, again.): Well I found a couple of the hidden grottos in the game, completed a few side quests, beat the snot out of some monsters, did some level-grinding and went back and fought Corvus (the last boss) again. Same result. Same. F*****. Result. Why do you mock me, RPG Gods?!?!

Diablo 3 (360): Shawn brought this one over a couple of weekends ago and we played it for hour or so and I have to say I really liked it. I hadn’t had a chance to play it before but I loved the first 2 Diablos (and their expansions) for the PC. The 3rd game doesn’t disappoint..it has all of the classic Diablo chaos and mountains of loot that we all know and love. We both picked long-range combat characters and had a pretty sound strategy for the first few quests of the game. Shawn would cast a spell that slowed down our enemies and we would pick them off even before they could get to us. Of course things were going a bit too well and the difficulty ramped up a bit and we started dying a bit more frequently but it was still fun. It’s not all rainbows and kittens though, but we’ll get into that in our 4th podcast. Despite a couple of minor issues I’m looking forward to playing this one again.

Digital Playground

Does Hearthstone still suck?

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(Editor’s Note: In keeping with 2 Guys Gaming’s attempt at catching up from our insane holiday schedule, I am going to offer a cursory review of the new Hearthstone expansion Goblins vs. Gnomes.)

TLDR: No.

I have talked on the podcast and written here on the website about Blizzard’s digital CCG Hearthstone. Most of the discussion has been mixed and bordered on negative. When the game first came out, I endorsed it to Chris and a few other friends because it was an online card game and initially, it is a fun game. However, like many Blizzard games, sometimes it became more about the treadmill of trying to do daily quests. These games came against increasingly stronger decks built by people who most likely spent a lot of money building their collection. The game just wasn’t fun anymore and I uninstalled the game for about a couple of weeks before the announcement of the first “adventure”.

The concept of an adventure is an interesting concept that is completely unique to the digital card game genre. There’s no way that a table top card game could do what Hearthstone did with Naxxramas. As an added bonus, Blizzard implemented it well and the new cards changed the way that the game was being played with only a handful of new cards. Because of the limited card pool, that change felt brief and temporary and honestly not that much of a change. Hunters and warlocks ran wild and now they has seemingly more tools to dominate. The game returned to the simplistic feel of being a card game version of rock paper scissors and I stopped playing it again after only a month. Honestly, I just didn’t find the game all that fun.

For me, the lifeblood of any card game is the expansions. They bring new cards, new decks, new mechanics, and the promise that the game will provide fun and enjoyment for that much longer. It isn’t surprising then that I started to pay attention again after the announcement of the first full expansion set for the game, Goblins v. Gnomes. The first cards out from the set focused mainly around random effects, making it seem like Blizzard was sticking to their guns on the subject of “RNG as skill”. However, they quickly assured people that was not the case and they only used those cards as the teaser because of the fun effects that would get people talking about the game.

The expansion is focused heavily around random effects that used to bother me. Chris tried to jury rig a physical version of the game because he was less into the digital content of the game, but the effects of the cards is too wonky to play physically. Blizzard actually mentioned this in one of their interviews. They prefer the way Hearthstone is designed because it makes it different from its non-digital contemporaries and therefore it can stand out in a genre that has seen competitor after competitor fall to the might of Magic: the Gathering. However, as I play the game more and start to figure out some of the strategy, I realize that RNG can be annoying when you are counting on RNG to win you a game. It becomes less annoying (and not even RNG) when you use it to your advantage by eliminating the RNG as much as you can. An example is Flame Cannon. If you hold on to that card until there are 5 minions on the board, some of them with 5 health, and you don’t have any choice, you’re going to have a bad day. If, however, you use it on a single minion board and have a follow up in case of more health, then the card is very strong as removal.

So, an expansion that likes to tout the fact that “most of the things fail…or explode” and should have annoyed me to no end has actually had the opposite effect. The relatively few cards released during Naxxramas were enough to shake up the game in a way that some decks that were very strong are no longer being played while some new strategies have emerged. GvG has brought even more new strategies to Hearthstone, chief among them one that I have enjoyed since putting together my zombie deck a couple of years ago. That’s right, mill decks are now a thing (and somewhat viable) in Hearthstone. The game is fun again and I’m actually venturing back into the Arena thanks to the free run that Blizzard gave away at the release. “The first one’s free, Kid.”

That’s not to say that everything is roses. Warlocks and Hunters still rule in constructed and Mages, and now Paladins, still seem very overpowered in Arena. You will get sick of seeing the same decks over and over again. I know that I do. But use it to your advantage. Once you know a deck, you know it and can plan accordingly.

I still would not recommend the game to new “free to players” necessarily because it is very difficult to catch up without paying real money. If you can stand grinding a bit, though, you can get all of the basic cards and there are some good strategy guides for all basic decks. You may not win more than 20-25% of your games, but that will still be enough to finish your daily quests in a somewhat timely fashion. Use the gold to play the Arena (and most likely get destroyed, but again there are good guides to get started), get your pack (and hopefully some gold return), and start building your collection to take on your foes. If you have no qualms about putting aside some of your gaming budget to buy cards or Arena runs in the game, then I would definitely recommend getting in now. The game can be a ton of fun and it seems like Blizzard is really starting to figure out what they want to do and how to do it.

Pros: Makes the game fun with the effects and new cards. Adds some variety to the number of decks that are viable (even if they aren’t being played).

Cons: Warlock and Hunter just synergize so well with their hero power and class cards that they continue to dominate the games that you will play.

The Last Words: I can say that Hearthstone is definitely finally worth recommending that people check out. It can be a grind for players not looking to spend any money, but if you’re willing to put in that grind, it will pay off in the end.

Digital Playground

Currently Playing…Vol.8

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punch out title

Mike Tyson ‘s Punch-Out (NES) The other night I popped this classic into my NES, not really intending to play it, but because I was working on the setup in my game room and wanted to make sure that all of my consoles were working. Right from the opening bell on the title screen I was hooked. I sat down and muttered to myself, ?Just Glass Joe, then I ‘ll get back to finishing up my project. ? Approximately 35 minutes later I was staring at my old nemesis, Soda Popinski. This guy used to absolutely beat the brakes off of me when I was a kid. Yes, that ‘s right; I ‘m ashamed to admit it but I have never beaten Punch-Out. I hated him and you better believe I hated that stupid ******* laugh of his whenever he would knock me down. With my project now completely forgotten, I eagerly pressed ?Start ? so I could show him what the 34 year old me was capable of. Right off the bat, I hit him straight in his eggplant-looking head with a couple jumping right hands, earning myself a super punch. Jumping the gun, I hit ?Start ? and wind up the super punch looking to put him and his red underoos on the mat where that punk belongs. Instead, he smashes me with a huge uppercut and a hook dropping me like a bag of crap. I rapidly hit the A+B buttons and drag myself up off of the mat. Ok, I need to regroup; if I just get the timing down I ‘ll beat him like he stole something. That ?something ? clearly being my pride. Again he goes with the same uppercut that started the knockdown sequence. This time I move to the side and proceed to smash the snot out of him, another missed uppercut leads to another snot-smashing and then it happens; he goes down. On the count of ?5 ? he starts to get up and falls back down. I ‘m going to win! I finally did it! I ‘ve won! I ‘damn, he got back up at ?8 ?. Ok. Let ‘s do this. I hit him with 2 more jumping rights and earn another super punch. He fires 3 jabs in a row and I deftly dodge them and wind up with my hard-earned super punch..and the bell rings. A barrage of expletives flies out of my mouth. ?Ok, this fight isn ‘t getting out of the 2nd round ?, I mutter. He chugs his soda and the fight is back on. I immediately jump up and hit him getting another super punch. He throws his hook and I move to the wrong side, catching it straight in the ol ‘ food hole. Ok, ok, that ‘s alri..damn, another mistimed feint and Mac is now pink as an uppercut finds its mark. Sh*t, I ‘m flustered as my timing is now completely gone which leads to me ending up on the canvas again. No big deal, it ‘s only the first knockdown of this round. I jam on the A+B buttons once again..but this time nothing happens. I ‘m out. Another string of expletives falls out of my mouth as I stare at the screen, not believing that after 25 years, I still can ‘t beat this guy. He takes the center of the ring and laughs at me as I talk myself out of launching my Nintendo controller through my new TV. Well, I was right; it didn’t get out of the 2nd round. God, I love this game.

Digital Playground

Currently Playing…Vol.7

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nblade

Ninja Blade (360)-I think the only way I can accurately describe Ninja Blade is by saying that it ‘s a cross between Ninja Gaiden, Devil May Cry, and an action movie. The story is as follows: You play as a ninja, Ken Ogawa, who is a member of an elite special forces team that the Japanese government has called in to try and destroy an infection of Alpha worms that is slowly taking over Tokyo, turning its residents into monster worm creature things. The graphics are decent (although a little on the dark side), the controls are easy to get a hang of, and the gameplay is fun ‘when you are actually playing that is. My only complaint is that there are just way too many of those damn ?push <insert button letter here> now ? QTE (Quick Time Event) challenges. Unfortunately it ‘s a huge piece of this game. This is where the action movie comparison comes into play. After pushing one button, a scene plays out, usually followed by a prompt to quickly hit another button, which is then followed by another scene..etc. After awhile, it feels like you are not playing the game at all, you ‘re just a monkey hitting a button (hopefully) fast enough to move the movie along. If you didn ‘t hit it fast enough, or pressed the wrong one, then the scene rewinds until you actually press the correct damn button fast enough. It ‘s not like you lose a life or anything, it just rewinds. It ‘s too bad that they went so heavy on this mechanic, as the game could have been so much better than it is. That said, it ‘s still a good action/adventure game with a Devil May Cry-like combat system, neat abilities like running along walls and super speed, multiple swords to choose from, and absolutely massive bosses that will make your jaw drop. Fun (sad) fact: In 2009, Ninja Blade made Gamepro ‘s “Top 5 games that no one is playing” list.

Digital Playground, On the Tabletop

Lessons from the Kitchen Table Vol.3: Get out of that Gaming Rut

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Most of you have been there before: the dreaded game rut. Everything you own sucks. Why the hell did you spend all of that money on a library of games that you have zero interest in playing? Why did you buy all of those booster boxes of (insert CCG title here)? Hey, hey, calm down, it’ll be alright! I’ve been there myself, quite a few times actually. (Although hopefully game ruts are a thing of the past now that Shawn and I run this website and produce the 2 Guys Gaming podcast. This job forces us to try ALL of the different games out there in order to write articles for you guys and gals. ) Earlier this year I found myself in the mother of all gaming ruts. All of my usual ?go to ? games were now boring and extremely unappealing. It felt like a chore just putting a disc into my 360, and when I did I found myself playing for only a few minutes before I would hit eject, put in another disc, play for ten minutes or so, hit eject again…rinse and repeat…until I finally would just shut off the Xbox. My rut didn ‘t just apply to video games either; even MTG became repetitive and stale. So how did I beat the rut? Well looking back, it actually wasn ‘t that difficult to do. First thing I did was stopped looking at my Magic collection. The more I looked at it, the more depressed and frustrated I became because I wanted to recapture the interest in the game that I had even just a few weeks earlier and that spark just wasn’t there. The only way I can possibly describe that feeling is that it ‘s like quicksand; the more you struggle and fight the faster you sink. By taking a break from even looking at the cards it felt like I had removed a source of frustration. I then started to research current CCG ‘s to get a feel for any game currently on the market that might be down my alley. Unfortunately, nothing really stuck out to me, so I started to look at discontinued CCG ‘s. I ‘m a penny pincher when it comes to games, so this is always a viable option for me since all product associated with a discontinued game is cheap as hell. And as I found out, discontinued doesn ‘t mean the game is crap. I ended up with 3 games bouncing around in my head: Rage, Marvel VS, and finally World of Warcraft TCG. Just like that the rut began to weaken. After talking with Shawn, he mentioned that he had actually purchased a box of Warcraft starter decks awhile ago and just had them sitting in a closet. That ‘s all I needed to hear, I went to dacardworld.com and purchased a booster box of the expansion set, War of the Elements (for only $18!!!!). After playing the game a few times, the ?CCG wall ? of the rut crumbled and I could see daylight. I found myself scouring the internet checking out deck lists and strategies. The game is so well-designed and fun that even in death, that still to this day people actively play it and write articles about it. It was only pulled off of the market because Blizzard decided to go with a bare bones digital version of the game, that we know as Hearthstone.

Ok, so one wall of the rut down, one to go. But you might be saying to yourself, ?Blondie, I don ‘t even play CCG ‘s, ya nerd! ? Ok, ok, point taken, so how did I beat the video game rut? I managed to crawl out of the rut by doing a few different things. First, I unplugged my 360. It was symbolic in a way. I was unplugging the source of my boredom. None of the games were doing it for me so why would I have it connected? In its place I plugged in my Playstation 2 which had been previously collecting dust on a shelf in my game room. Ok, so I replaced the console that was boring me with another console that I hadn ‘t played in a long time. What now? I turned to eBay to find some games that I hadn ‘t played yet. The kicker was that they couldn ‘t be games in the genres that I usually favor. So no shooters and no 2D fighters as that would just be like playing the same games that I already had. So I picked out Dragon Quest 8 and Odin Sphere. Usually I tend to not buy as many RPGs as fighters and shooters because of the time commitment involved, but in this case, I was desperate. Games are essentially my only hobby, so without that satisfaction of sitting down after a rough day of work and just unwinding with an hour of gaming, I was slowly becoming miserable. After playing DQ 8 (Dragon Quest not Dairy Queen), I felt the depression lift..I couldn ‘t get enough of the game, the gameplay was decent as well as the story. Once again, I found myself on eBay hunting down other Dragon Quest games. I ended up purchasing DQ 4, 5, 6 and 9. There was now a huge crack in the last remaining wall of the rut. Then I popped in Odin Sphere. The wall exploded. If you have never played Odin Sphere finish this article and go buy it. Now. You will not regret it. But I digress as this isn ‘t a review for Odin Sphere. (Seriously though, it ‘s an amazing game.)

Ok, so let ‘s review how I beat my video game rut. I removed the source of my frustration (aka my 360), plugged in another system that I hadn ‘t played in a really long time, went and found some games in a genre that IS NOT one that usually I dabble in. Now let’s review how I broke out of the CCG rut. I removed the source of my frustration (aka my MTG collection), researched other games that I have never tried before and picked one out. See the pattern? When you find yourself in a rut, take a step back from your normal gaming habits and think outside of the box. It’s important to get out of your comfort zone and try games that you ordinarily wouldn’t give a second look to. Whether it’s a game in a genre that you usually pass on, or a discontinued card game. Who knows you might find something worthwhile. I know I did.

Digital Playground

Currently Playing…Vol.6

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pxzoneProject X Zone (3DS) I ‘ve had my eye on this game ever since it was first announced. A strategy RPG with Capcom characters? Sign me up! Being cheap, I patiently waited until I could get it for under $20. Last weekend my patience paid off and I was finally able to find a used copy for only $15. I have to say, after having played it for a few hours, I was disappointed. It feels a bit slapped together. The storyline makes no sense. At all. In fact after the first 5 levels, I just couldn ‘t take the story anymore and rapidly hit A to fly through the cutscenes to get back to the actual combat. All of these characters from Street Fighter, Tekken, Darkstalkers, Resident Evil, Dead Rising..etc, who exist in ‘?different dimensions ‘? just happen to know each other?! Here ‘s an example: At the beginning of one of the Prologue stages Chun Li (Street Fighter) shows up, then Hsien-Ko (Darkstalkers) shows up, and then Frank West (Dead Rising) appears. Chun Li: ‘?You ‘re Frank West from the Colorado incident right? ‘?. Frank West: ‘?Yes, you ‘re Chun Li, agent of SIN, right? ‘? Now Chris and Claire from Resident Evil show up, ‘?Hey aren ‘t you Frank West from the Colorado incident? And you ‘re Chun Li, an agent of SIN ‘?. Wait,what?! What the ****?! And it ‘s not just this interaction; for the most part all of the dialogue is pretty uninspired and fails to carry the half-assed plot. It really feels like Capcom/Sega just wanted us to ignore the weak story and just focus on the fact that you can form teams of all of these cool iconic characters. If this was a Capcom 2D fighter and not an RPG, that wouldn ‘t have been a problem. But with an RPG, one of the things that separate a great RPG from a not so great one is the quality of the story. Ok, so storyline aside, the game play is actually not bad. Like a traditional strategy RPG, you form a team of characters and you take to the battlefield to beat on your opponents by performing super combos, ‘?X-over ‘? combos ‘etc. It ‘s actually pretty fun BUT the game does get slightly repetitive. I found myself getting bored after the first hour/ hour and a half. Bottom line: Unless you are a huge Capcom fan, I ‘d just rent this from Gamefly.

Digital Playground

He is the one who sacks

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(Note: Due to the missed deadline last week, I am switching my normal schedule of “On the Tabletop” on Tuesday and “Digital Playground on Thursday. Today, I will Break Madden in the digital playground and Thursday I will pit DC vs. Marvel Heroclix on the tabletop. This change is also necessitated by the fact that I will not own the Heroclix until tomorrow.)

As with most information over the last four years, I learned about Breaking Madden from a podcast. It was either a slow news cycle or they were trying to lighten things because of the heavy news out of the NFL. Either way, Slate’s sports podcast Hang Up and Listen did a segment on the series a couple of weeks ago. If they were trying to add more fun and humor to a suddenly morbid sports world, then they succeeded. I laughed through the entire segment, went to visit the page, and mentioned it to Chris during our nightly Facebook conversation.

Always on the lookout for new and fresh entertainment options since jettisoning cable, I still wasn’t sure that Breaking Madden would become regular viewing for me. Last year’s Super Bowl was an absolute abortion from the first snap, but do you wonder how bad it could have gotten if the Seahawks were 7 foot tall, 400 pound behemoths against 5 foot, 160 pound stick men Denver Broncos? Of course you do and so do I, but is that really enough to sustain over the long run? The Seahawks will destroy the Broncos even more, probably to the point where the game can no longer tally the score because the name of the series is Breaking Madden after all.

Aside from a title that pays homage to my favorite television show and the promise of an even bigger butt whipping in the Super Bowl, Breaking Madden did not seem to offer enough to warrant more than the few laughs elicited by the podcast segment. Then came the piece de resistance, the coup de grace, the “insert inappropriate French saying that clearly doesn’t mean what I think it means” of the segment. This Super Bowl of epic proportions broke Madden to such a degree that I need to keep watching now to see if it can ever be topped. Before I discuss that, though, and you go to the page to see it (and you will because nothing I say to describe it will do it any justice. You have to see it to fully experience the joyrror – a term that I just coined to describe both joy and terror), I will give you some background on the games and my experience breaking them.

In case you don’t already know, Madden is the increasingly realistic NFL game from EA Sports. Thy have also made a NASCAR, NBA, NHL, MLB, and golf game. Their slogan is, “If it’s in the game, it’s in the game.” Even with the focus on realism, it is still a computer program and subject to bugs and glitches. As the years have passed, the glitches have become less game breaking and more graphical or situational, but part of the fun of video games is finding the weird exploits and glitches.

I remember a football game, probably on the Atari 2600, that allowed you run through your own end zone to circle back onto the opposing end zone for an easy touchdown. Playing Monday Night Football on my Commodore 64, I discovered a similar issue where during kick returns, you could run your player 10 or 20 yards behind where he caught the ball and then rush to and up the sidelines for a touchdown every single time. If you ever played Mutant League Football, you know that you could win every game without scoring a point by tackling the opposing quarterbacks until they exploded and the other team had to forfeit. Madden, and EA’s other sports titles, have heralded a new age in realism in computer sports games. As a result, it became more of a challenge to find those oddities like Bo Jackson being able to run twice as fast as every other player in the game. More often than not, you have to manufacture those results through manipulation of the settings in the game.

I don’t have much experience in that aspect. Sure, as the Noob of All Trades, I play against the game on Rookie level and turn the more boring penalties down to make the games as easy and quick as possible. As a result, most of the glitches that I’ve witnessed in the game revolve around a polygon arm or leg reflected across the wrong axis or a ball being magically attracted to a receiver’s hand due to a faulty collision system. I haven’t figured out how to replicate the strange happenings of Monday Night Football or the Atari game that allowed you to wrap the whole screen. I’ve certainly never been a part of the bizarre behavior in Breaking Madden.

I said that I would never be able to describe it to give you the appropriate level of joyrror. The guys on Hang Up and Listen used the word totem, an offering by the game to the player that it had been well and truly broken. Earlier I described the game as an abortion. I worried about using that word for obvious reasons, but it is the only appropriate word given the outcome. During the game, an abortion appeared at midfield. It looked like the game birthed a half Seahawk/half Bronco fetus like figure at the 50-yard line. The thing is an absolute abomination and it stalks my nightmares to this day. My curiosity proved too strong. So may yours. You have been warned.

Life has gotten in the way and I have to catch up on the latest episodes to see what comes next. Breaking Madden has definitely found a place into my schedule as regular viewing. I recommend that you check it out, too, just avoid last year’s Super Bowl. In addition to the monstrosity at midfield, the page should be investigated by Amnesty International for crimes against humanity for what the virtual Seahawks did even though they are computer models.

Digital Playground

5 Wii Games That You Should Be Playing

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“What?! Who cares about the Wii?” you might be asking..well first, nice attitude buddy, and second, well, you should care, because there are actually some really great games that don’t have “Mario”, “Kirby” or “Zelda” in the title and you might be missing out on them. Here are my personal 5 favorite Wii games:

hodscreenHouse of the Dead:Overkill: It’s House of the Dead. It’s shooting zombies in the noggin using Wii light guns. You just can’t go wrong. ‘Nuff said.

 

warioscreenWario Land: Shake It!: I didn’t have high expectations when I bought this game, but for 10 bucks I figured I couldn’t go wrong. Long story short, Wario receives a globe and telescope that allow him to travel to the Shake Dimension. He has to rescue all of the Merfles (little guys who live in the Shake Dimension) who are prisoners of the Shake King, beat the bajeezus out of 5 bosses and finally the Shake King himself, and rescue Queen Merelda. For doing so he will get a reward of a bottomless sack of gold (greedy lil’ bastard). The general goal of each level is to rescue the Merfles, but there are tons of hidden treasures and side missions to keep the game entertaining.

 

tatvs cap screen Tatsunoko vs Capcom: Ultimate All Stars: This is, in my opinion, the best fighter you will find on the Wii. There are over 20 characters between Capcom and Tatsunoko(an anime studio), to choose from. Although the gameplay is slightly less hectic than Marvel vs Capcom, it’s still really fun. The controls are really simple and special moves are a snap to pull off (ultimate combos can be pulled off by simply shaking the wii-mote). There are a good amount of mini-games to play as well, which gives the game a decent amount of replay value. If you are a fan of any of the Capcom Vs titles, definitely pick this one up.

madworldscreenMadworld: This game is something that you would never expect on a family friendly console like the Wii. It’s literally non-stop gore and violence. Definitely not for the little ones you may have running around. The visuals are all black and white (think Sin City) EXCEPT for the blood which is splattering everywhere at all times. The story is as follows: A terrorist group called the Organizers take control of Varrigan City and being the no good sonsab*tches that they are, force the citizens to participate in a really, really ****** up game called Death Watch. You play as Jack, a mysterious contestant whose main goal is to eradicate the Organizers. To do so you have get through all 6 sections of the city by brutally dispatching your opponents. You use any weapons you can find from signposts to chainsaws to mangle and mutilate your opponents. My personal favorite fatalities include throwing a tire over an enemy, impaling him with a sign post then slamming him into a spiked wall and the always fun throwing your enemy into a passing train. You actually get bonus points for doing sick crap like that. Yeah. It’s that kind of game. Oh, and the “game show” announcers are actually pretty funny and for the most part don’t get too repetitious or annoying and add to the overall psychotic feel of the game. The controls take a little bit of getting used to (uses both the wii-mote and the nunchaku), but once you get comfortable it’s not a big deal. If you are okay with intense violence and gore, this game is a must have.

murascreenMuramasa: The Demon Blade: This game is, simply put, beautiful. I can’t say enough about the visuals on it. It’s a 2D hand drawn (to look like a watercolor painting, I might add) side scrolling beat em up action RPG, produced by Vanillaware, the makers of Odin Sphere (PS2). You have your choice of 2 playable characters, a ninja or a princess, and they have different stories, different bosses to fight, and different abilities to unlock. You collect swords, (all told there are over 100 swords to collect and forge together) and can equip up to 3 at a time. There are no motion controls with this game, just good ol’ fashioned button-mashin’. Words don’t do this game justice, just go and buy it.

Digital Playground

Currently Playing…Vol.5

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mvc3

Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 (360): I was a huge fan of the first two Marvel vs Capcoms’, so I was practically kicking in Gamestop ‘s door to get my hands on MVC 3: Fate of Two Worlds when it first came out. Little did I know that I had just fallen right into the classic Capcom trap. Yup, those clever bastards suckered me with their infamous multiple versions of the same title trick (although this was forgivable)*. 8 months after the release of Fate of Two Worlds the Ultimate Edition was released with 12 new fighters and being the weak, weak, gamer that I am, I couldn ‘t resist the call of all that shiny new-ness. Mainly because I was disappointed with the initial selection of fighters they had chosen. So I gave my copy of Fate of Two Worlds to Shawn and rushed off to buy the newest version of MVC3. With the Ultimate Edition I had nothing left to complain about. It ‘s essentially perfect and rates right up there with MVC 2 (which is my favorite 2D fighter of all time). I really love the updated graphics, the gameplay is actually faster and more frantic than the second game, and the super combos are practically seizure-inducing. On a side note, Deadpool ‘s super combo (BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!), is hilarious. Speaking of combos, this game is really geared towards combo fanatics. With the one button strike that launches your opponent up into the air the game engine makes unleashing massive combos a LOT easier than MVC 2. Last night, I hit my personal best combo: 78 hits using Nova ‘(clears throat) ‘.against an AI opponent that wasn ‘t fighting back. Or moving. Don ‘t judge me. I’m not proud. I learned long ago that there is a big difference between practicing combos on a dummy and fighting a real opponent like Shawn. Even after hours of studying my strategy guide (Q: Who the hell buys a strategy guide for a 2D fighter? A: This guy), practicing air combos and chaining together super combos; I was no match for my buddy ‘s thumbs of button-mashing fury. Needless to say that strategy guide is in a box somewhere and Bradygames made my list.

 

*To be fair, Capcom was planning on releasing the 12 new characters as downloadable content, but because of the earthquake and tsunami Japan suffered in 2011, it significantly delayed the release of the content to the point where Capcom said ?Screw it ?, and just released a revised edition of the game. Although, in my opinion, I think they would have ended up doing it anyways. It is Capcom after all.