All posts by Noob of All Trades

Shawn Lucas is the self identified "Noob of All Trades". He is married and the father of three boys, two of whom help with their own podcast every couple of months. Raised on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, he enjoys all games and will play all of them to the best of his ability, which is often average at best. Currently, he is most interested in Magic, Heroclix, and other games that he can play with Chris and his sons.
Digital Playground

Enter the Gungeon: Games I Love

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Introduction

Ever since discovering Unix based operating systems and then eventually Linux, I set up all of my computers as dual boot machines now. Honestly, I can’t think of a reason that I still have Windows on this laptop. In the past, I kept a version of Windows for gaming. However, most of my games that I play now are on mobile. What does any of this have to do with Enter the Gungeon?

Patience, my friend. I intend to answer that question. Since I never boot Windows on this machine, I downloaded and loaded Steam in Linux. It helpfully includes a list of Linux compatible games. Unfortunately, for some reason, you can only play 1 Screen Platformer on Windows. But, even though I miss one of my favorite games, Steam still offers quite a few others.

Bullet Hell? That Sounds Interesting

Because I purchased this computer mainly for updating this web page and the minor audio/video editing necessary to that end, I only trust it to run less powerful games. Sure, when I open it, Steam tempts me with games like Portal 2 and Left 4 Dead. But, I know my limitations. So, intrigued by the visuals, I loaded up Enter the Gungeon.

Even having lived through the various eras of gaming, I still can’t reliably explain what bit a game might be or why. I know the general go-to is 8-bit, which means the games run on hardware comparable to the NES. Even the font that I use for the page advertises as an “8-bit font”. But, I don’t remember any of the letters looking that detailed back in the old NES days. Heck, I worked the last couple of years to pick up some computer programming experience and I still can’t make heads or tails of it. But, I digress.

Retro. Enter the Gungeon is a retro style “bullet hell” game. What, exactly, is bullet hell? Well, after some research, I can finally tell you what “rogue like” and “rogue light” games are. So far, nothing inspired me to research “bullet hell”, but let me try to explain. Bullet hell games revolve around a randomly generated dungeon crawl with multiple enemies per level that you shoot using a variety of moves and targeting techniques. Man, that sounds good. Maybe I missed my calling as a marketing executive for small game designers.

Seriously, Though, What Does That Mean?

When you start the game, you get a choice of four characters. Having only played a couple of times and I chose the same character each time, I can only assume that the characters have different abilities. I can confirm in a future article about the game. After choosing your character, you get to play through a tutorial set of levels that gives you helpful hint of how to play the game.

If you are like me, you promptly forgot most of those hints. Either that, or you don’t possess the skill necessary to utilize them efficiently and effectively. I’m sure that with time my skill level will improve and I might even last until one of the boss fights to use the hints they gave me. Aside from all of that, you move your character and shoot your gun. I believe the bullet hell comes from the fact that you can constantly shoot and move yourself in full 360 with little to no penalty.

Enemies of various style and difficulty greet you with every new level. Again, if you pride yourself in being a noob like me, then it takes more than a couple of plays to figure out the best way to approach every type of enemy and style of room.

The Verdict

Even given my limitations, I enjoyed the game. I want to lead it up and play more. Who knows, with more free time next week, maybe I even get good, as the kids say. We all know stranger things happened. See you tomorrow for the next installment of Noob’s Book Club. Or, will I? That’s what we call a teaser in the biz.

On the Tabletop

I Entered a Painting Contest!

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Introduction

A few weeks ago, a post came across my Facebook feed from That’s Entertainment, the best local comic book store within 50 miles of my house. They said that they planned to host a miniature painting contest that was beginner friendly. I, very much a beginner when it comes to painting miniatures, immediately followed the link and signed up. And, so starts the story of how I entered a painting contest.

Technically, I actually entered nothing. They gave us 3 hours to start painting at the store. I took advantage of two of those hours and then wandered around the store for about 45 minutes to look for some back issues and find some new series to read. The latest TMNT story looks awesome and now I think I might order some older trades like the one for “The Last Ronin”.

The Miniature in Question

A few other competitors recognized this monster from their travels in Dungeons and Dragons. They also seemed to come in with plans and color schemes. Since I mostly just played with Quinn and the kids at school, I never encountered a hellwasp in game. I came in with the plan to try to make it look as much like the instructions as possible. To borrow a phrase from The Lego Movie, “I like to follow the instructions.”

I went with what I knew and primed the model black. Some others primed in their primary color and I think I might try that technique on some of my models because I like the look of their models. Also, the black base swallowed some of the highlights from the drybrush and made the model look dark. Another painter said the same thing about his.

Progress Pictures

Back View

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I like that the camera picks up some of the detail that my eye misses. Makes me feel better about my technique. Because, looking at it while I was painting, I felt defeated. Nothing worked out the way I wanted and I started to think that I wasted 15 dollars. Then I saw the pictures and I found the inspiration to keep going. I felt excellent after painting the wings. I really like how they look.

The Finished Product (For Now)

I still have to do some work. It looks too blue for my liking. The actual one has more of a purple look, but that’s not too big a deal. I also want to blend the wings better. But, when I showed it off to my family, Liam said, “That looks cool!” So, I felt even better about it. Join me in a couple of weeks so you can hear the actual story of how I entered a painting contest.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

Betting the Bowl 2023 *

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Introduction

Surely, you anticipated more being written about the big game this year. We gave it such an impressive title, after all. To be perfectly honest, until I got an email from both Fanduel and DraftKings this morning about their sportsbooks being available in Massachusetts soon, I planned no such update. But things move fast around here, and now I’m Betting the Bowl 2023.

Neither of the books is actually live yet. They legalized sports gambling in Massachusetts on my birthday, but I assume that the books in the state got some sort of dispensation to operate before the internet books get their chance. So, as of now, these bets are still only theoretical.

Stupid Super Bowl LVII Prop Bets

As they often do, Simmons and Sal inspired me a bit in this article, too. I listened to them as I half listened to online PD at work today. They mentioned how when they started the podcast, prop bets were still a novelty and not many existed. Sal said that one book listed over 2000 this year. A Google search only gets me about a dozen.

Quite possibly the dumbest bet is the coin toss. You’re either paying 5 dollars to be right or you are paying 105 dollars to be wrong. Both are equally stupid in my opinion. But, I saw they also have odds on winning the coin toss and winning the game. For both teams, those offer plus odds and some intrigue to the proceedings. Then again, if you put money on the coin toss in any bet, perhaps you need to call one of those numbers they advertise on the sites.

They also allow you to bet the Gatorade color. At least that requires some thought. Supposedly blue leads the last few years, but that seems unlikely given the two teams playing. If the Chefs win, they probably repeat orange (+250) from their previous win. The Iggs went with yellow last time. With a +350, you also get green on this bet. I think the best bet you can make every year is the over on the anthem. People always mug the anthem at the Super Bowl.

I expected this section to be longer. But, without access to an actual book, I encountered difficulty finding some of the wackier bets.

Single Dollar Picks

I also stole this idea directly from Simmons. But, while he makes million dollar picks, I thought it might be funny to have single dollar picks. I want to take a dollar, split it up among actual bets I might make before the game. Then, with a single penny, I want to try to put together a parlay that will pay over 100 dollars if it hits. This is how I’m Betting the Bowl 2023.

Most Sure Bet (but the ball bounces funny in this game): 0.25 to win 0.93. If the Chefs win, Mahomes wins MVP, so why not tack on the extra plus money. It just makes sense.

Most Sure Bet (even if the ball bounces funny): 0.25 to win 1.75. I call this one the “take out a second mortgage” bet. Kelce to score first.

Run It Back (who is the MVP if not the QB?): 0.05 to win 0.17. If the Iggs win (and anything is possible when Andy Reid Andy Reids it up) I’m not positive that Hurts is the MVP. But rarely does anyone but the QB win. More on that later.

I Got Nothing (who is the Iggs MVP?): 0.10 to win 36.08. I have no confidence in Hurts as the MVP. The Iggs could easily win with him having Roethisbergian numbers circa Super Bow XL. So, I went completely bonkers with this bet and wrote in Josh Sweat as MVP.

Throw Me a Frickin’ Bone! (I’m the regular season MVP!): 0.10 to win 0.80. Hurts, on the other hand, has good odds to be the first TD scorer.

Living on the edge (They converted one with Chad frigging Henne): 0.10 to win 0.08. -130 that over 1.5 4th down conversions are made. I think the Chefs hit that number before halftime and the odds reflect that.

Sevens Heaven (Unless they miss an extra point): 0.14 to win 0.13. Both teams score at least one touchdown in the first half. I needed something to throw the last 14 cents until I get to my penny bet.

Perplexing Penny Parlay

I thought of this idea as ridiculous. However, once I got going and putting in numbers, it actually became pretty easy to come up with a plausible parlay that pays out over 100 on a single penny bet. Here goes.

Chefs win (+105)

Mahomes MVP (+130)

Kelce First TD (+700)

Either team gets a 2 point conversion (+245)

Both teams score 30+ (+900)

Game goes into overtime (+929)

A single penny pays out 133.90 if this hits.

The Verdict

In all honesty, all of these bets are strictly fictional. I started keeping a spreadsheet with my bets starting with 1000 dollars. I fluctuated during the playoffs and came out ahead 6000 dollars during the Super Bowl. But, I’ll let you in on a secret from last year. Most of my bets from that Super Bowl came during the game and I lost a lot of them. Then, I cleaned up with a Rams win/Kupp MVP parlay. And, so Betting the Bowl 2023 exists only in fantasy right now.

*(Or, La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande, Part 2)

On the Tabletop

MTGONE Miscellany Edition Cards I Love

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Introduction

Friday during the week of our Magic the Gathering previews means that we pick up all of the miscellany; multicolored, colorless, and lands. Can I admit that, secretly, I enjoy this article the most out of the three that I write? When I open packs, I still act like a preteen when I see that golden border. Like Pavlov’s dog, I salivate regardless of how terrible the card. And, artifacts, even though they changed from the iconic brown to silver, it still offers just enough of a difference that I double take to see the card. With all of that being said, join us for MTGONE Miscellany Edition. But, first a story.

It also means that we probably played some of the cards in the set on MTGA. As it happens, I played Mondrak and it feels just as oppressive as I thought it might. My mono red opponent launched two lightning strikes at it, ignoring my face. That’s when I knew I picked a winner. However, I misplayed because the card plays more like a 5 mana drop because of the ability. In that case, one of those bolts most definitely would have found my face instead. So, who knows how the game ultimately played out in that alternate universe.

MTGONE Lands I Love

Phyrexian Swamp

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I usually only pick lands because of their jankiness. I know spikes like their fetches and enemy duals or whatever, but I have little use for them. Once in a while, like now, I choose lands with art that simply inspires me. These qualify in a big way. I love every single one of these. Maybe even more than the constellation art from Theros.

Infected Swamp

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Once upon a time, I wrote the Phyrexian language off as a gimmick. More recently, I softened my stance. Ever since I saw my beloved Jace compleated, I went so far as to search if you can cure the infect. It turns out that you can, but things end up grim if you do. Then, I saw these lands. I know they might fetch a hefty price tag, but I want them for my Mondrak deck.

MTGONE Colorless Cards Honorable Mention (Monument to Standard Lands, A Stupid Sword, and Skullbomb)

Monument to Perfection

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Monument to Perfection made me search whether Golos, Tireless Pilgrim got the banhammer. He did. Otherwise, that card, along with the new crucible, are just straight busted. Texting Chris and that one just might be anyway. Maro teased a new sword a couple of days before the reveal and, of course, the MTG community absolutely lost their shit. Other than a stupid name, the card seems pretty good. Not as good as some of the other swords, but every cycle needs the underpowered version. Speaking of cycles, they gave us a skullbomb cycle. I like this one enough to include one or two in the control deck I mentioned in the previous article.

MTGONE Colorless Card I Love (The Filigree Sylex)

Yes, I understand that artifact and enchantment hate abound in every format of Magic the Gathering. With that being said, if I can resolve both the wrath and the “ultimate” of this card just once, I can die a happy man.

The Verdict

Overall, the MTGONE miscellany edition disappoints. But, as I mentioned, with every pack I open that contains a golden or silver card, it takes me back to being 12 years old and thinking that those colors meant something special. Also, those lands are just absolutely gorgeous. Plus, that Sylex gives me something to attempt every time I play my control deck in Arena.

Card Images taken from Mythic Spoiler. Banner image from Hipsters of the Coast.

On the Tabletop

MTGONE Gruul Edition Cards I Love

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Introduction

I wrote about the white, blue, and black cards I love in an earlier article. As became tradition a few years ago, today I review red and green cards. Normally, because I almost strictly cast blue or black spells in the game with the occasional white splashed in, I consider this article the most difficult to write for every set. But, tradition beckons and besides, my fictional (at this point) Commander deck runs green, so time for some MTGONE Gruul edition cards.

By the looks of it, the page gets actual viewers now and not just bots. So, for those of you who are new, first welcome! I hope you enjoy the page. Let me know what you need to make yourself comfortable. Secondly, let me explain this article. I choose cards that I love, hence the title of the article. Often, that means that I choose jank or otherwise “fun” cards. Then again, more often, I am in agreement with others and end up picking the more powerful cards from a set in spite of myself.

MTGONE Red Cards Honorable Mention (A Walker, Act of Treason with a Stick, and a Possible Tiny Leader)

Slobad, Iron Golem

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I know I said I’m not the best at picking red cards, but these seem especially bad. Awaken the Sleeper reprints one of my favorite cards and gives me the versatility to melt some equipment in the process. Other than that, these cards more or less stink on ice. So, I picked a terrible Koth and a possible commander for a Tiny Leader goblin deck.

MTGONE Red Card I Love (All Will Be One)

They named this one after the set or vice versa. Therefore, you know it has to be good. I considered texting this to the group chat with Chris and Jason, but remembered that Jason shuns new cards in the name of crazy shit like playing only cards produced during a full moon in years that are a prime number. I kid because I love. Also, he can’t sue for libel because a judge will argue that no reasonable person would believe that after seeing that he, in fact, texted the group chat a copy of the card. I considered splashing red or going 5 color good stuff to include this in my deck, but that’s excessive jank, even for me.

MTGONE Green Cards Honorable Mention (Thrun, Green Crucible with a Bonus? Holy Shit, and Cankerbloom)

Conduit of Worlds

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Cankerbloom already gives you a grizzly bear plus for 1G. Plus, it adds the bonus of one mana and being able to absolutely wreck your opponent’s day. Thrun has what I called “almost opposite pro” where nothing non green affects it but it still takes damage if you block. Very weird wording on the card. Magic certainly came a long way from Serra Angel. Maybe I see now what Jason means by new cards. I need glasses just to play the stupid game now.

MTGONE Green Card I Love (Contagious Vorrac)

Speaking of text creep. Not only does this card have 55 words (not including reminder text), but it also has an ETB trigger, a may clause, and an if clause. In addition, it bears three different creature types. What are you doing to us, WotC?

The Verdict

Even among green cards, I found little from the set to put into my fictional deck. I told you these colors always gave me trouble. But, I still got a kick out of looking at the cards and I look forward, as always to seeing what cards I get from the MTGONE Gruul edition in my booster box and bundle that I ordered. Come back on Friday for the third and final installment that sweeps up all the miscellany!

Card Images taken from Mythic Spoiler. Banner image from Hipsters of the Coast.

Digital Playground

Marvel SNAP in Quantumania

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Introduction

We last covered Marvel SNAP as our mobile game of the year at the end of last year. I think they either just released the new “season” at that point, so we went a couple of months without any real news about the game. Marvel Studios obviously considers the new Ant-Man and Wasp movie to be the launching point for Phase 4?5?6? and worked a deal with the game to promote it. As a result, when I opened it today, the game greeted me with Marvel SNAP in Quantumania.

I struggle with a way to properly preview a game like Marvel SNAP. I see people online sometimes denigrate it for the simple game play as too easy. While I admit that sometimes it puts me off that they took any “difficulty” even from a game like Hearthstone, I appreciate the quick games. But, without an actual set “release” and no way to craft cards yet, the game gives no guarantee that you will play with any of the new cards. Nevertheless, I already bought the season pass plus (14.99, the additional 5 bucks gets you 10 levels on the track) so let’s just dive in.

New Locations

Image from Marvel.com

Love them or hate them, Marvel SNAP remains committed to the concept of locations. Granted, they need something to add another level of strategery and I like most locations, but some are just gamebreaking and, as always, I feel like those ones always favor my opponent’s deck. Enough whining, what do we have?

Camp Lehigh: Gives each player a 3 drop in hand. As someone who already draws 3 drops at an alarmingly high rate, this one is a pass for me, dog.

Quantum Tunnel: Playing a card here swaps it out with one in your deck. This seems hella fun and prime for shenanigans.

Quantum Realm: When you play a card here, set it’s power to 2. Either they have a combo in mind that I haven’t considered, this is troll, or you can steal a win from big decks because they won’t want to play here.

The Sacred Timeline: First to fill this one gets a copy of their opening hand. When played with MODOK (more below), this opens the game for all sorts of ridiculous combos.

Featured Card (MODOK)

Image from Marvel.com

On Reveal: Discard your hand.

Oh great, more disco decks to deal with on the ladder. I now have a dumb trigger every time I see Apocalypse discarded from a hand. I don’t have a reliable way to play around that stupid card. Oh well, time to research control options. I already have Cosmo and Armor in my deck. Might as well go full lock down and find a card that prevents discards.

Other Cards

On Reveal: See your opponent's turn and replay the turn (without Kang)

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I doubt I will ever play Ghost, but who knows? At least in my most played deck, my Ongoing, I need to flip first especially with Cosmo and Armor. Armor made more than one destro deck retreat by himself. Kang seems like an autoinclude in almost every deck. Who doesn’t want a late game do over? Speaking of disco tech, I like Stature. 1 cost, 7 power? Quite versatile, for sure.

The Verdict

In addition, Marvel SNAP in Quantumania give us variants (no more pixels, please, most of those are just bad), bundles (I saw some one person saying the price points in this game are off and based on the first bundle, it seems way overcosted), and some ideas of how to utilize the “Battle Mode” against your friends with weird rules. I love this game and I love what I see from this update. See you out there, SNAPers.

On the Tabletop

MTGONE Esper Edition Cards I Love

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Introduction

We last wrote Magic the Gathering content in December when we named it the card game of the year for last year. Before that, I questioned my commitment to the game, changing my mind in the process of writing the article. I bought new product for the two most recent sets and recommitted myself (not to the nut house, though I appreciate your concern for me) to the game. Now, a new set looms and I actually find myself researching Commander decks to bring to our next play session. I even mention some of those cards in this MTGONE Esper Edition article.

Since our last preview article came all the way back during the Forgotten Realms set, let me explain the process. I break the set into three subsets. As you can see from this article, I first review white, blue, and black cards. On Wednesday, the Gruul edition brings red and green cards. Then, to finish on Friday, I pick up all of the miscellany. Join me now for MTGONE Esper Edition.

White Honorable Mention (Elesh Norn, the White Sun, and Vindicator)

White Suns Twilight

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Vindicator finally gives us a white “brother” to Obliterator. I hate that card. While Vindicator seems less annoying, it still gives you another way to stonewall your opponents and/or ping off their threats.

I just texted Chris to talk about some investment strategies. Since I also have this article open at the same time, I mentioned to him about the Bant counters/tokens deck I plan to build. White Sun’s Twilight works perfectly with that strategy. Plus, poison really tilts Chris, so I get that added bonus from the card.

I love the original Elesh Norn. I draft the card every time I see it and splash white, if necessary to play it in my deck. People say that this one breaks Magic in fundamental ways, so I want a chance to play it before the ban hammer inevitably comes down.

MTGONE Card I Love (Mondrak, Glory Dominus)

This card immediately caught my eye when I first saw the spoiler. I think I even texted Chris and Jason and said that I wanted to build around this card. Then, I saw a blue card that doubles proliferate and I researched UW options for proliferate. Not finding many, I branched out into green, too. Green is lousy with counter generators. And that’s the story of how my first non net decked Commander deck is coming into shape.

MTGONE Blue Honorable Mention (A Drake, A Mermaid, and Jace Walk Into A Bar)

Jace, The Perfected Mind

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Jace got leaked before being spoiled as we now seem to have leak season (that sounds messy) and official spoiler season now with Magic the Gathering. Initially, I thought Jace might be nice, but not my favorite iteration of the character. I might put one in my deck as an alternate win condition. However, milling 100 cards takes a while.

The drake can get out of hand pretty quickly with the right combination of counters and proliferate cards. The mermaid gives me the opportunity for all kinds of silly blue shenanigans that no doubt will have my opponent flipping the table at some point in the game.

Blue Card I Love (Tekuthal, Inquiry Dominus)

Here’s the card I mentioned earlier that put me on UW and eventually Bant for my new deck. With this, Mondrak, and Elesh Norn alone, win conditions abound in the deck. I need to get onto xMage and start building this deck. The new cards aren’t implemented yet, but I can at least start to get the shell of the deck and add the new cards when they release on the program.

MTGONE Black Honorable Mention (Feed the Infection, Sheoldred has an Edict, and the Black Sun)

sheoldredsedict

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Since black no longer fits the theme of the new deck, I looked for cards that I might include in my UB control deck that I build on MTGA. Black Sun’s Zenith might take the place of flunk because of the added ability to bring things back from the graveyard. Edict is just a good removal card with versatility. I’m not 100% sure that Feed the Infection fits. I like the draw card I already have in there, but maybe I will test 2/2 or 3/1 to see which I like better.

MTGONE Black Card I Love (Not Really. Rats Piss Me Off)

I featured this one because as soon as I saw it, I thought, I’m going to start seeing this stupid card in those rat decks that people sometimes run. Way back when they released the Sanctum cycle, I wrote about a jank deck using all of them. Periodically, I see that deck and wonder if it just entered the zeitgeist or if I inspired it. The first opponent to play this stupid thing will have me thinking the same.

The Verdict

MTGONE Esper edition inspired me to plan and build my first non net decked Commander deck. Be on the lookout for the update posts over the next few weeks. As soon as I press schedule on this article, I plan to open xMage and start building the shell. See you on Wednesday, when I release the Gruul edition of the set!

Card Images taken from Mythic Spoiler. Banner image from Hipsters of the Coast.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande

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Introduction

I used many of the superlatives that I often use for the previous 2 rounds. For example, in the past, I wrote the Super Bowl Extravaganza. This year, I applied that title to the conference championship round. Yes, datear reader, not even we at 2 Generations Gaming are immune to the effects of power creep. And, so we arrive at La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande a week before the big game.

Honestly, though my interest in the NFL grew over the last few years, I think it peaked last year during the Chefs/Bills playoff game. Everything after that felt anticlimactic. Now, given the sour taste that both conference championship games left, I doubt I will even pay attention to the game this year. Nevertheless, I made a solemn vow to you, dear readers, and I intend to keep that vow.

Why I Want The Iggs to Win

As I Pittsburgh fan, I inexplicably hate everything having to do with Philadelphia. Never mind that, as a red blooded American, I love everything to do with my country, including Philadelphia. I find sports fandom and patriotism confusing and sometimes infuriating. In spite of all of this, I came up with this format for the article, and I intend to see it through to the (possibly) bitter end.

Honestly, I can only come up with one reason to cheer for the Iggs. Those of you who follow the page know that I went from hating the University of Alabama football team to openly and actively loving them all because of one man. No, not Jalen Hurts, though I can appreciate his story and wish him the best. Tua converted me from Bama hater to loyal subject. He’s like a modern day Jesus. But, given that Hurts played for the Tide and got Judased by Saban and Tua, I owe it to him to cheer his team on in the Super Bowl. Plus, I forgot all about Devonta Smith. Go Iggs!

On the negative side, the last play in the Bungs/Chefs game initiated a visceral reaction in me against Patrick Mahomes. I’m not saying that I don’t like the guy anymore, but with Brady “retiring”, I need a new heel to inject with my venomous hatred. Burrow, even though he qualifies by playing for the hated Bungs, is honestly too nice. Mahomes might be, too, but I can hate him tangentially with my overall NFL hatred.

Why I Want the Chefs to Win

I’m sorry, Patrick. I didn’t mean it. I just came up with an idea for an article and went with it. Sometimes things get out of hand. I love you and everything that you do. Except for some of those State Farm commercials. Some of those are just dumb.

And, honestly, how can you hate this?

So, like the Iggs, and virtually every other NFL team. the only reason to cheer for them is their quarterback. In a sport where all of the guys wear helmets and most of them toil in obscurity for their entire careers, the NFL finally figured out a way to give some faces to the names of their quarterbacks.

On the negative side here, my Pittsburgh heritage far outweighs any debt I owe to the United States of America, so eff Philly and eff their stupid football team. The entire city can fall into a sinkhole for all I care. I hope the Chefs bury you and your loved ones in a shallow grave in the Arizona desert. Woah, that got dark.

The Verdict

Again, those who follow the page know that I’m the only one in the house who even cares a little bit about this sport where the ball bounces funny. As a compromise, I came up with the idea to watch a movie franchise as a marathon during the Super Bowl. Of course, that year, my Steelers played the Cardinals, so I snuck away several times to check on the game. We haven’t chosen the series for this year, yet, but I know I will be cooking all day that day regardless of what we watch. La Fiesta de la Super Bowl LVII Mas Grande de Lucas-Mullen will feature many of the traditional Super Bowl appetizers with a Dad twist. Come on over if you don’t care a thing for the game.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Digital Playground

February 2023 Battlegrounds Update

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Introduction

I wrote an article about Battlegrounds at the beginning of the Lich King set release. I came away from that update severely underwhelmed. They gave us nothing in Battlegrounds aside from a new hero. I honestly don’t know why they waited to release the update because it certainly wasn’t to properly balance. They turned nerfs and buffs around so quickly, we can cover them in this February 2023 Battlegrounds Update.

Improvement #1: New Hero

Granted, they gave us Enhanc-o-mechano with the set release. And, I played him a couple of times and enjoyed every time. But, I expected an undead theme in Battlegrounds and, with it, a new undead hero. That never happened until this update. But, boy oh boy, did they give us a hero.

Because I play in 4-8k plebeian territory, the cries of “OP! Plz nerf” went right over my head. I tried playing the new Putricide and failed miserably both times. But, he utilizes my favorite mechanic in the game, Discover, and I think I can have some fun with him eventually.

Improvement #2: Rewards Track

I wrote in that December update that one of my biggest problems with the release of the new expansion was that nothing reset. I knew a new season of standard loomed on the horizon. No such luck with Battlegrounds. As far as I knew, they killed the mode without telling anyone.

There is precedent for such a thing after all.

Without a new season and no Battlegrounds specific quests, only weekly quests kept me playing the game. I got so bored, I even tried Mercenaries. Actually, pretty fun, and I worked it into my daily rotation. Who knows how long that lasts.

Thankfully, Blizzard released the new Battlegrounds season and, with it, a new rewards track. I get to earn new strikes, hero skins, and other cosmetics that make the game worth playing.

Improvement #3: New Tribe, New Minions

Last, but certainly not least, they gave us the new minion type I hoped for back in December. Yes, undead crashed the party big time. Many of the nerfs involved undead and I swear to god, somehow lobbies for a couple of weeks showed 7/8 playing undead. I admit that I tried playing undead a few times, but also farmed them a little bit with elementals, mechs, and the occasional pirate build. Some players, as they do, pissed and moaned about the monotony. In spite of the repetitive gameplay, I found the games mostly fun. While, I don’t have a problem with the balances, it made no difference to me.

A final bonus in the whole ordeal surprised me but, at the same time, I saw it coming. You might even argue that I inspired them to make this change. Blizzard introduced dual type minions! Actually, they created one dual type minion a while ago and I extrapolated then that more were on their way. Well, they’re here. There’s dragon murlocs, undead mechs, and an elemental murloc that warms my heart.

The Verdict

Overall, I like the update to Battlegrounds. As I said, some people cried until Blizzard rolled out the nerfs, but I found the game fun in spite of the fact that every game looked the same. We know the new tribe always ends up overrepresented in the beginning. But, yeah, it was pretty damn ridiculous with undead this time. I hope you enjoyed my February 2023 Battlegrounds update and I’ll be back with more Hearthstone content around the release of the new standard season.

Snap *censored* Pop Culture

2023 NFL Conference Championship Post Mortem

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Introduction

I unintentionally ended up writing and posting this on the same day that Brady announces his retirement. In the text chain with Chris and Jason, I admitted to being a petty dick about the announcement. When Chris said it sounded genuine, I replied, “Well, good for him for coming to the realization a year too late.” And, then when Jason mentioned that Favre retired twice, I replied with a goat GIF and “Gonna break that record, too.” So, knee deep in all that salt, let’s get going on this 2023 NFL Conference Championship Post Mortem.

Gonna break that record, too.

There, now you can feel super cool like you are a part of our epic text thread. It’s a cool place to be. I refer to it more than once in this article, so the hits keep coming. Okay, enough self aggrandizing. Let’s dig into the fun from the weekend.

Iggs Bury 9ers (and their quarterbacks), 31-7

If you remember, I put together a fake future of the Bungs/9ers at the beginning of the playoffs. That bet looked damn good for most of the playoffs and then came crashing down in this game. I paid little attention to it until the aforementioned text chain brought news of every single 9ers quarterback getting injured. The texts made it sound serious, too. Then, the Iggs poured on the scoring. And, it got worse from there. Purdy ended up back in the game after what sounded like a very serious injury. No way for the season to end, but honestly, did you expect any differnt?

NFL Preserves Their New Golden Boy, 23-20

For most of the first half, it looked like the Chefs might have just enough to keep the Bungs at bay. Chris said something about them being a second half team and, sure enough, they pulled that horseshoe right out of their asses again and I feared I might have to listen to two solid weeks of Joe Burrow fellating. The Bungs left just enough time on the clock for Mahomes to do what Mahomes does. Then, the refs did what the refs sometimes do. I texted, “I like Mahomes, but that was a Premier League flop right there.”

The Verdict

Overall, chalk won this 2023 NFL Conference Championship Post Mortem. A bit boring from a gambling point of view, but I guess sometimes Vegas has to win, right? The old place is just falling apart at the seams, right, fellas? In any case, join us later in the week (probably Sunday since that marks a week until the game for our Super Bowl preview. I don’t have a witty superlative yet, but I’m workshopping a couple and will have a decision by this weekend.