All posts by Noob of All Trades

Shawn Lucas is the self identified "Noob of All Trades". He is married and the father of three boys, two of whom help with their own podcast every couple of months. Raised on Atari, Nintendo, and Sega, he enjoys all games and will play all of them to the best of his ability, which is often average at best. Currently, he is most interested in Magic, Heroclix, and other games that he can play with Chris and his sons.

Noob’s History With Silent Hill

Introduction

This year left me scrambling a bit. I kept current through the beginning of the year, but then a bout with (maybe) Covid plus homecoming threw me off my schedule. I finished the comics reviews for this month last week and then hastily crafted a plan for the rest of Spooktober, which may go into the first week of November. Oh well, time is relative. In any case, let’s start this trip with Noob’s history with Silent Hill.

As you know, Chris and I recorded last month. The recording came out less than ideal, but we enjoyed it so much that we planned for the rest of the year. Because I came up with the idea for Spooktober last year and more or less kept the page running for an entire year, I made the suggestion that we talk about horror themes in pop culture this month; video games, books, movies, and TV shows. We meant to record today, but that slipped my mind. Thursday, it is.

What’s the Deal with This Game?

Unlike Resident Evil, which dealt with my favorite horror sub genre of Zombies, or Fatal Frame, which brought my wife and I together as she watched while I played, I discovered Silent hill through other means. Way back in the ancient history of the internet, before social media algorithms threatened the very fabric of reality, you needed to search for things. As a result, many search engines populated the landscape. No Bing, but Google popped up pretty early. My engine of choice was Yahoo! until Google became the behemoth that we all know. There’s something to be said for algorithms.

I go to my grave arguing that Ask Jeeves is the best name and logo for a search engine.

Even with all those search engines, I still learned about gaming news from my favorite gaming page of the time. IGN. Now a meme, at the time, well it was a meme then, too. But, in addition, it was the go to page for entertainment for almost a decade. During one of my visits to the page, I saw an article about Silent Hill. A horror game based more in psychological scares? Sounds like my type of game.

Journey into Silent Hill

I Yahoo’d (doesn’t sound as natural as Googling) the game to get more information. Everything I found only solidified my desire to play the game. I rented it via Gamefly, and fired it up. At the time, I hooked my game systems to my surround sound and this game paid huge dividends. I have a core memory of hearing a sound go from the front speakers to the rear and it scared the daylights out of me.

I also remember my first encounter with Pyramid Head. He is the sword wielding boss of the game with a Pyramid as a head or covering his head. I’m not entirely sure which. Perhaps I should ask Jeeves. Then, just as abruptly, I have no additional memories of the game. I either played it just that once or only one or two more times and then never again.

The Verdict

Noob’s history with Silent Hill is shockingly short. Sometimes that happens. I don’t dislike the game, mind you. I simply never got into the game like I did Resident Evil or Fatal Frame. Sometimes the idea of something is better than the actual thing, if that makes sense. I still keep track of the new games. I consider picking one up every now and again. If that happens, keep an eye on the page for my thoughts.

DC Comics September 2023: Great, Good, Decent

Introduction

Catching up has proven more difficult that anticipated. I mean, I know from being a teacher that it’s often easier to just go into work sick and fake it as best you can instead of having to write sub plans and get back into the groove after being out. Also, I probably took this page lighter than normal. After all, I only maintain it as a labor of love. So, I put off the YouTube and updated it in chunks. I still haven’t finished writing my notes for the next episode of Noob’s Book Club. And, I meant to release this DC Comics September 2023 article yesterday or Thursday.

I skipped DC for a couple of months. That’s because I ordered all of the first issues of Knight Terrors. I forgot to update my DCBS order the next month and only ordered my main titles. I meant to go to That’s Entertainment to fill in the books I missed. At this point, I might need to go the Midtown route. They would have made a great Spooktober article. Oh well, there’s always next year.

Decent

Power Girl 1

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For some reason, even though I don’t remember ordering them, they sent 3 number 1 issues for the Dawn of DC non-reboot of a reboot. Why they couldn’t anticipate last month and send my Knight Terrors, I’ll never know. In any case, they sent Blue Beetle, Green Lantern, and Power Girl. Of the three, I liked Blue Beetle the best and I might keep collecting that one for a bit longer to see if it continues. I’ve never cared anything about Green Lantern and I just said to Christine, “Good to see horny dudes are still drawing comics.” Power Girl’s costume makes no sense.

Good

Wonder Woman 1

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Writer: Tom King, Artist: Daniel Sampere

Long time readers of the page know that I have little use for Superman. I always thought his character was simplistic and I prefer my heroes to have flaws. The Brian Michael Bendis experiment started off great and then, as he often does, he wore out his welcome. They sucked me back in by putting Williamson on the main title. I also like Phillip Kennedy Johnson’s take on Action so far. I enjoyed Williamson on Flash and that’s what got me to read Supes. The Si Spurrier era starts off decent and I’m willing to give him a chance. The same thing can be said for King’s Wonder Woman. Everything he writes ends up great, but he needs some time to figure out WW’s character.

Great

Batman and Robin 1

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Writer: Joshua Williamson, Artist: Simone Di Meo

I rolled my eyes so hard they may have stuck there (Mom was right after all) when I read “Gotham War”. We had Joker War. Now we have Gotham War. Well, I should have known that they’d not let us down with this one. What is surprising is that all of the supporting titles I read in the series supports the story in a logical and strong manner. Hell, it even convinced me to buy the Batman/Catwoman title that ties in.

The Verdict

DC Comics September 2023 takes a page from Marvel’s book. They go back to basics on a lot of their titles. Okay, it makes sense now. They kept saying this wasn’t a reboot. With every new announcement, Chris and I rolled our eyes via text and said, “Yeah, right. looks like a reboot to us.” But, by the gods, they actually pulled it off. Can’t wait to see next month.

Marvel Comics September 2023: Great, Good, Decent

Introduction

How have we made it two weeks into Spooktober and I am just now writing about Marvel Comics September 2023? Well, I got sick a couple of weeks ago. I had to take Tuesday off and spent the whole day in bed. Then, I tried to go in on Wednesday, but only made it two classes until I came home and spent the rest of that day on the couch, too.

I started to feel more like myself last Tuesday. However, last week was homecoming week. So, every day, we practiced lip sync. Then, on Friday, I marched in a parade and watched the football game. Saturday, I chaperoned the dance. Sunday and yesterday, I rested some more. So, overall, the illness and homecoming kept me busy enough to neglect 2 Generations Gaming.

Decent

Amazing Spider-Man #33 and #34 (Writer: Zeb Wells, Artist: Patrick Gleason) Rekrap finally did Chris in. He texted the other day to say that he can’t take it anymore. I said last month that I need to keep collecting, but nothing means that I need to keep reading. Well, I read these two issues. And, like last month, I like this story. And, following from last month, I want to put these in the good category, but I reserve judgement because just when things gain steam, something dumb happens.

Good

Dr. Strange 7

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Writer: Jed MacKay, Artist: Pasqual Ferry

Strange flirted with “Great” a few months ago. It lost some of its focus after the wedding issue, in my opinion. This issue finishes up the 5000 year war and brings us back to the main story. The end sets up a possible showdown between Strange and his evil doppleganger.

I liked J. Michael’s run on Spider-Man during and after Civil War. Seeing his name attached to Captain America made me happy beyond words. I texted Chris about it. He said he never liked any of the Captain America books. I enjoyed some of them. So far, this one is early, but I like what I read.

Panther took some time to get going, but I really enjoyed this issue. I’m not ready to put it into “Great” territory right now. But, if this keeps up, I might need to consider it. They finally explain key parts of the story and the action ramps up.

Since the “Just Another Avengers #1” issue, MacKay developed this story quite well over the last few issues. This one brings out the heart of the Avengers through their fight against the villains and a reveal about the entity behind them.

Great

Guardians of the Galaxy 6

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Writers: Collin Kelly and Jackson Lanzig, Guest Artist: Alex Lins

Fantastic Four continues a run of fun one or two shots in the style of the original title. Granted, I only read a few of those early books. But, I know the basic structure of the story. This one gives off all the goofy vibes and suspense that you can ask for.

Al Ewing ends his time on Venom with a bang. Doom vs. Venom becomes a battle through time and space. I will miss Ewing’s take on the Lethal Protector, but I’m excited to see what he brings to Thor now. Maybe after that, he can come to Spidey and resurrect whatever is left.

Guardians of the Galaxy finally gives some insight into Grootfall. It also teases that the Guardians are dead at the end of the book. Call me old fashioned, but it still hooks me to start a story with the death of your main characters. Can’t wait to see where this goes.

The Verdict

Marvel Comics September 2023 bring some light with the Spidey getting reinvigorated with some old friends. Most of the other books follow a similar pattern as previous months. A few are on the cusp of being great. I feel a bit like a shill here, but what can I say? The books are in a good place right now and I hope they continue.

Images from the mothership.

September 2023 Independent Comics I Love

Introduction

I mentioned, in a YouTube video that I still haven’t edited and released, that I spent the better part of the last week sick. I said to two of my classes today that I finally feel like myself again after a week. So, I’m digging out from under work at school and here on the page. Therefore, the September 2023 independent comics article comes at the beginning of Spooktober.

You probably noticed that I never changed the banner for Spooktober even. Again, bear with me over the next week, especially, because it’s a busy one. Last night, we had a soccer game for Aiden. Today, thankfully, nothing. But, tomorrow is dress rehearsal for lip sync. Then, Thursday is lip sync. Friday is homecoming parade and game. Saturday is homecoming dance. Plus, the muffler pipe on my car finally rotted out. So, yeah, I’ll get there. Give me time.

Gunslinger Spawn #24

Writer: Uncle Todd, Artist: Brett Booth. I wish I brought better news in this first article in almost a week. Last time, I wrote about how this title felt rushed. I even found a typo in the book. I saw at least one more in this issue. Not only that, but my copy doesn’t even have the Spawn part of the title. While not as bad as Spider-Man right now, I see cracks in the armor over at McFarlane productions. In addition to the production errors, the story just bounces all over the place. Too much for my ADHD. My verdict: Decent.

Scorched #21

Writer Sean Lewis with Uncle Todd on “Additional Script”, Artist: Dexter Soy with guest Carlo Barberi on the reporter’s page. More focused than Gunslinger, the story still bounces a bit at the beginning until it settles down. Once it does, the book resembles the fun that’s missing from Gunslinger right now. Maybe they only have enough juice to fill one book right now. Fair enough. My verdict: Good.

Spawn #345

Writer: Rory McConville with Uncle Todd on Additional Script, Artist: Carlo Barberi. I make no secret of my distaste for the Heaven and Hell war angle of the story. I’ve said over and over. I know that it is a key part of the book. It just personally does nothing for me as a storyline. I always preferred Al as the avenging angel of sorts who fights for the downtrodden on Earth. With that being said, I liked this issue a lot. They’re clearly focusing on this title as the main story. That explains the slight dip in quality in the supporting books. My verdict: Good, bordering on great. If they keep it up, it might be my favorite story since Dark Horror.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #143

Writer: Sophie Campbell with Kevin Eastman as Story Consulting, Artist: Gavin Smith. The most consistently good comic in the bunch right now. Even after the inevitable let down after the amazing Armageddon Game, it still brings a strong story. The pace continues to ramp up in this issue in all aspects of the story. Every single issue I read makes me sad that I never collected this book before now. My verdict: So close to great.

The Verdict

As usual, September 2023 independent comics brings a mixed bag. While the art on all of the Spawn books is amazing, the stories on the supporting issues are uneven. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, though, remains good. As long as that’s true, I look forward to the next installment of books.

Spawn images taken from the mother ship. TMNT from IDW.

Trucking Through Europe

Introduction

As promised in the outro to the latest episode of Noob’s Book Club, I’m covering a couple of simulation games that I’ve been playing over the last few months. I think I picked them both up as a Humble Bundle deal. But, I don’t remember exactly. I just looked it up. I received Euro Truck Simulator 2 through some Humble Bundle or another. And, so, I started trucking through Europe.

Point of fact. We took Liam to Germany for his graduation present. Actually, we ended up traveling to Prague in the Czech Republic and a couple of places just over the Austrian border, too. But, we spent most of our time in Germany. I enjoyed the trip so much that I seriously considered moving to Europe in 6 years or so. Christine eloquently said, “You want to live anywhere but here.” To which I responded, “Yep.”

Top is my in game shot of Allianz. Bottom is my trip to the stadium over the summer.

Wait, that’s it?

I know what you’re thinking. Because, honestly, I thought the same thing. You just drive trucks? Through European countries. And, to answer the question, at the heart of the game, that’s it. You pick a base of operations to start. Since we went to Germany and I liked Munich, I picked there. You take different jobs to make money. Eventually, you buy a garage, a truck, then another truck, then hire some drivers, and buy another truck. I’m currently at the point where I want to buy a new garage to expand my operation some.

Because of the basic premise, I skipped this game for a long time. I played much more of the train simulation game because I thought it might take more skill. In fact, it does. So much so, sometimes, that I get frustrated why my train isn’t acting the way that I want. In the truck game, I get in, drive to a job, take the job, and off I go across the European countryside.

The Verdict

Don’t be fooled by the basic premise like I was. This game takes skill. Sometimes you even have to think a little bit. Do you rest now or try to make it to the next spot to rest? If you do that, will you get tired and find it harder to control your truck? What happens when they land a helicopter on the highway, blocking every single lane? Yes, that happens. Quite often, actually. Those are just some of the scenarios that you’ll face when you come trucking through Europe with me.

Note: I meant to release this yesterday. But, I’ve felt crummy for the last 24 hours or so. Expect delays on all content this week while I get caught up. Sorry!

Dreams and Machines Tutorial

Introduction

A game came across my Facebook feed. I don’t know what made me click the link this time around, but I did. I also don’t know what the click through to purchase percentage is. But, they got me this time. The game came in the mail a few weeks ago. With Quinn and I unable to sit down for the next installment of our duets adventure, I played through the Dreams and Machines tutorial this evening.

After Christine yelled at Liam at the dinner table for being on his phone, he pointed out, “You’re the only one eating. Dad’s playing a game.” Quinn asked, “Is that a role playing game?” Then, Liam again, “Is that a new game?” I replied, “Yes” to both questions. So, perhaps, I will have an updated article in a couple of months after we play the game as a family.

The Story

They write an introduction with illustrations in the first four splash pages of the book. From what I can gather, the society’s technology advanced too rapidly. They became murder machines. The society eventually triumphed over them. And, now, some of them rely more on nature to fill that void. Others hope to be able to salvage the technology. I may be completely off with that analysis. But, that’s my interpretation so far.

Character Creation

They streamline the process quite a bit. Your background, class, temperament, and talents all come on different cards. They suggest each player picks from the cards in that order. I like this approach because it makes things easier. At the same time, I prefer being able to roll dice, assign my stats, and figure out who my character is during creation. Granted, the only part missing from this game is the dice rolling and assignment of stats. However, being an old school RPG guy, that’s the best part for me. It doesn’t ruin the experience. It just detracts some from my enjoyment. So, for this character, I just picked things at random.

Quick Adventure

Once I put together the character, I decided to run through the first part of the introductory adventure. I like the style. It relies on narrative. Those who are fans of the page know that I love my gaming stories. In between, everything is settled with some skill checks. You roll a number of d20s and any that come underneath the requisite ability or skill counts as a success. If you exceed the number of successes, then you pass the skill. Otherwise, you fail. I passed one of my checks and failed the other. I ended the session right before I got to combat because I knew it would work better with more than one player. But, it works the exact same way.

The Verdict

Overall, I enjoyed the experience of playing through the Dreams and Machines tutorial. I think this might be a game to try with Quinn and Liam since they both showed interest during dinner. Christine also mentioned that the time for family game night is upon us. We usually play during the fall and winter. It helps to pass the time during those dark nights. Come back in a couple of months for an update.

Giants in Phandalin

Introduction

My history with Dungeons and Dragons is checkered. I wonder if it is the same with many other players. I started playing in high school. We put together a regular play group that contracted to just two of us after we graduated. However, some of the best stories and campaigns for me came out of those duo sessions. It takes a little bit of time, but this all leads directly to Giants in Phandalin.

When i had kids, I tried as much as possible to pass my nerd passions on to them. Some of them became life long passions like Liam and Quinn with Pokemon. Others, like Dungeons and Dragons, maybe still have potential. Because, to be fair, we only tried playing once as a family. The boys were all young and, on that particular day, I just wasn’t feeling particularly patient. So, I think I poisoned the well a little bit. In spite of that, I hold out hope that maybe one of these days we can try again.

Bigby Presents Glory of the Giants

I planned to cover this one last month in a Dungeons and Dragons week. However, Quinn and I never sat down to play the next episode in our Duo campaign. So, I moved Dungeons and Dragons to this month and decided to cover the two latest source books in this article. I never know how to properly cover something like this. But, that’s never stopped me before.

For this one, I read through the character creation parts of the book. I always try to build different characters for the game just to see how their peculiarities might show up in an actual game. This book goes one step further and talks about how to run an actual campaign built around giants. You might think, cynically, So, D&D but with big people? Yes, I suppose that’s one way to look at it. But, I feel like there’s so much more potential there.

Phandelver and Below: The Shattered Obelisk

Well, things come full circle now. The adventure we tried to play as a family was the Lost Mine of Phandelver. And, now, Wizards of the Coast release a new source book building on that. I’d be lying if the release of this book didn’t make me feel nostalgic for that time and the desire for a do over. Just have to figure out a time to do it. Everyone’s older and busier. Cats in the Cradle, indeed.

The Verdict

Giants in Phandalin brings two fun new books to the Dungeons and Dragons pantheon. One gives me an idea for how to build a new world and campaign. The other makes me want to recapture some of that fun of being young again for all involved. I’m sure we can find some time during Thanksgiving or Christmas break. Be on the lookout for a Lucas-Mullen D&D adventure in a few months.

Baldur’s Gate 1 and 2 First Impressions

Introduction

In anticipation of the release of Baldur’s Gate three, I got the idea to talk about various Dungeons and Dragons properties. I chose the new source book about Giants, my duets adventure that I wrote for me and Quinn, and Baldur’s Gate 1 and 2. When I missed my deadline last month, I moved it to this month and added the new Phandelver source book as well.

Even with the extra time, I only played through about 15 minutes of both games. Hey, what can I say? I’m still a busy gamer dad who can’t always drop everything to play these games. But, I always make an effort. Besides, if I only play through enough for first impressions, that gives me a chance to revisit sometime in the future. It’s all about content, y’all!

Baldur’s Gate 1

The first thing I noticed after starting the game was the full featured character creation system. It felt just like rolling a new character in paper and pencil Dungeons and Dragons. You pick a race, class, roll your stats, set your profile picture, and pick your proficiencies. If you are a magic user (I usually pick mage/cleric), then you get to pick your spells.

After character creation, you start the game. It starts with an involved narrative to set the stage and prepare you for the adventure to come. This one starts off a bit slow. You go through the opening area, picking up basic quests and fighting off minor enemies.

Baldur’s Gate 2

I much prefer the beginning to the second game. Less initial narrative means the action starts much more quickly. And, boy, is there some action to start! You wake up in a dungeon after being tortured by some sadistic jailer. When I first played through, I sped out of that cell and to my death.

The second time, I explored the prison more and found two additional companions. Surely this barbarian can only help me survive longer during this game. I did survive longer, but that’s only because I explored longer to find the key to release one of my companions. Once I got to the same spot as earlier, I died again. Admittedly, I died slower, but still dead. So, I have some figuring out to do on this one.

The Verdict

Baldur’s Gate 1 and 2 reminded me just how unforgiving early level Dungeons and Dragons can be. You roll some dice and if you roll badly, you end up in the dust bin of history. Roll well, though, and eventually all the power of the universe at your fingertips. I’m willing to go back and risk it all again for that.

NFL Week 1 Wild Overreaction

Introduction

In the past, I’ve done a “completely ignorant” preview of the NFL. Sometimes I branch off into college football, too, during the bowl and championship season. This year, the beginning of the season came and went and I never wrote my preview. Well, inspired by my text chain with Chris and Jason, I bring you my NFL Week 1 Wild Overreaction.

And, yes, I realize that one game of week 2 already played last night. Several people asked me if I watched the game. Apparently, I look like a football guy again. Either that, or people just start their conversations with questions about the NFL now for some reason. In any case, no I didn’t watch the game. I saw the score was something like 27-14 and checked again this morning to make a smart assed comment about the Vikings still sucking, but laid off because they came back and lost only 34-28 with Kirk Cousins throwing 4 TDs. Oh well.

This man had one hell of an NFL week 1 wild overreaction.

AFC East

Even without Aaron Rodgers (or maybe they rally around his injury because he was that great of a leader in his short time), the Jets run the table and enter the playoffs 17-0 and the #1 seed in the AFC. Rodgers comes back to lead them into the Super Bowl as only the third team in history to enter that game undefeated. They play against the Green Bay Packers. You see where I’m going with this. Needless to say, Miami still pops their champagne. Tua stays on the field and challenges Peyton’s single season touchdown record. He has to settle for 50 and the Dolphins record. Bill Belichick placed a voodoo curse on Foxboro during Brady’s celebration that transferred his mojo into Mac Jones and the Patriots will start another dynasty next year. Josh Allen, after a career low year, signs with the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL. This causes a merger of them and the Bills and eventual merger of the NFL and CFL. America is forced to adopt the metric system and 110 yard football field.

AFC West

The Raiders hold on to their division lead for the entire year. Raiders fans get excited about being the first team to have a home Super Bowl and purchase all the tickets. They scalp them for record amounts when the Raiders get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. Kansas City misses out on the playoffs for the first time in 8 years. Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes make 17 State Farm commercials during the playoffs. I finally remember that the Chargers moved to Los Angeles from San Diego. This is the most unlikely scenario in this whole article. When they fail to turn around the Broncos, Sean Payton and Russell Wilson found a women’s soccer team in Denver.

AFC North

Deshaun Watson keeps his hands to himself and the Browns win the division. This is probably equally as unlikely as me remembering the LA Chargers. The Bengals celebrate not having to face the Chiefs again in the playoffs a little bit too much and flame out in their first game in the playoffs. The Ravens surprise and confuse everyone by wearing Browns throwbacks in their game against the team they used to be and take on the old losing ways of that team. The Pittsburgh Steelers hold a funeral for Kenny Pickett in week 3 after the Browns and Raiders follow up the 49ers and sack him a total of 20 times in the first three games. Even Tru believers need to admit at the end of the season that Mitchell needs to just retire.

AFC South/NFC South

Both divisions move to Europe to start the NFL expansion to that continent. Brady buys the Buccanneers, who become one of the German teams. The move proves surprisingly popular among American fans and several fan bases lobby for their teams to move, as well.

NFC East

The Cowboys don’t allow a single point all season. However, they tie 3 games 0-0, two against Philly and one shocker against a quarterbackless Washington Football Team. In spite of the sale of the Commanders by Dan Snyder, the fans are so disgusted with the play of their “quarterbacks” and eventual demotion of all of them in favor of running a T-formation/wildcat hybrid offense that they are the first to petition to send the team to Europe. The Eagles, elated by their two ties against the undefeated Cowboys, try that strategy in the playoffs. After 5 overtimes, their patented 4th down play fails them and the Cowboys take the game. The Giants play 17 games. While you might not think that’s much of a stretch, after that first game, I fully expect them to announce they’re folding the franchise any minute now.

NFC West

The Rams only win two games, both against the Seahawk by a score of 30-13. When asked about the anomoly in a post season interview, coach Sean McVay disappears. Nearly a hundred years later, they tell the tale of a football coach that came from the past to dominate the game for a decade with a strategy he calls a “running back”. The 49ers, in deference to fallen Steelers quarterback Kenny Pickett, record exactly 5 sacks in each game. They say, “We feel bad for the kid. After week 1, we knew he had no offensive line and could have petitioned the league. Instead. Rest in power, number 8.” In spite of the petition by Washington fans, Seattle announces a move to Europe shortly after the South divisons. “We are mostly European anyway, so it won’t be much of an adjustment for us or our fans.” Climate change ravages Arizona and when the Cardinals realize that nobody cares that they won 5 in a row, they shift their focus to combatting the destruction of our environment. The billions put into the fight helps to slow and eventually reverse the damage.

NFC North

The world mourns a second gentle football soul, Justin Fields. He’s not dead, just not very good at football and Chicago continues to search for answers. Turns out the kids just misses Matt Nagy and follows his old coach to Kansas City. Mentored by Mahomes, he turns his career around and leads the Barcelona football (real football, not soccer) to a European championship. After realizing that the Madden curse leaked some of its bad juju to the Netflix documentary, only Kirk Cousins returns for the second season. As a result, during filming in week 5, a sink hole opens and swallows the entire Minnesota team. Nothing of value is lost and they are later found wandering the Amazon. Detroit raises a banner after defeating the defending champs and declares, “The king is dead. Long live the king.” They are eventually devoured by a pack of hyenas.

The Verdict

In all honestly, this NFL week 1 wild overreaction started with good intentions. I quickly lost the thread and became more and more unhinged. Even so, I enjoyed writing the article and made myself laugh a couple of times. I hope you feel the same. See you next week for Dungeons and Dragons.

Note: All teams and the single logo used on this web page are the property of the NFL. They are used without consent (written or otherwise), but only in good fun. If you’re feeling litigious, please refrain from throwing your vast legal resources at this small page that caters to my kids, Chris (Hi Chris!) and about 25 Russian bots (Hi Sergei!).

Completely Ignorant Mortal Kombat 1 Preview

Introduction

Those who follow the page regularly recognize the gimmick. I started writing NFL profiles every whenever I remembered and got around to it. Because I don’t follow football nearly as closely as I once did, I got the idea for the gimmick. Because I wrote an article about the Street Fighter 6 Demo (and uploaded a short game play video) and Mortal Kombat has no such demo, I am left writing the completely ignorant Mortal Kombat 1 preview.

Of course, part of the gimmick is that I’m not completely ignorant. I spent a good 5 minutes skimming a game play video that I found on YouTube. The video clocks in at 19 minutes. I found maybe 30 seconds that I consider relevant to my discussion of the game. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a perfectly good video, but there’s a lot of repetition of the Kameo fatal blow moves. The first time, you say, “Wow!” or “Ew!” or both. By the third time, you find yourself skipping ahead to find the words, “Finish Him!” for some fatality fun.

Fatality Fun

I saw a Kenshi and a Kitana fatality. I clicked through twice to see a Johnny Cage one. Either they haven’t programmed it into the game yet or they told the individual in the video not to give too much away. Seeing as how Johnny Cage somehow became one of the faces of the franchise, I understand their reticence around the finer points of his move set.

I mean, I always liked Cage, but understand how he grated on some fans.

As for the fatalities, they don’t disappoint. Rarely since the conversion to 3D has a fatality failed disappointed me. Some of the ones in MK3 were just awful. Then, in MK4, we got perhaps the greatest fatality ever envisioned with the Quan Chi leg rip. I still laugh hysterically every time I see that one. From what I saw in the video, MK1 brings the pain and maybe some laughs with the fatalities.

Mortal Kombat Mario Party

Sometimes I love living in the future. Don’t get it twisted. Sometimes living in the future absolutely blows, too. But I remember seeing an article with the tagline, “Mortal Kombat’s new play mode is like Mario Party with blood.” So, when I couldn’t remember that they actually called it “Invasions”, I searched Mortal Kombat Mario Party in Google to find a video showing off the mode.

From what I understand, it replaces the Krypt. If they made this choice after Mortal Kombat X, I might like it more. However, I liked the Krypt mode in Mortal Kombat 11 a lot. I played that mode until I unlocked every single thing available and then I played it more because I refused to search a Wiki to see what the secrets were until I was convinced there was nothing left to find.

The Verdict

You will have to wait for my thoughts on actual game play, fatalities, and story until after I buy the game. Unlike Street Fighter 6, I wanted to play Mortal Kombat 1 from the beginning. For whatever reason, I’m more of a Mortal Kombat fan, so I will probably end up buying this one for full price. Hell, I considered buying a PS5 just for this and the new Spider-Man game. So, look for an completely ignorant Mortal Kombat 1 preview update in the coming months.