Introduction

You can tell I like this show. It took no effort to watch the episode, take notes, and write this Fallout episode 3 plot summary. I mean, I dedicated myself to one episode a week to stay honest. However, as we’ve seen with Noob’s Book Club, sometimes my schedules are compatible with real life. This one, so far, looks to be one that I can maintain. If you’d rather just watch the episode, head on over to our favorite multinational conglomerate.

The Beginning

Cooper shoots. He gets off of his horse and walks.

Villain: Please, sir. Please, sir, please.

tips cap There’s an old Mexican eulogy. Feo, fuerte, and formal. Means he was ugly, strong, and had dignity. Well, Joey, I’ll give you two out of three on that front. hesitates to shoot

Has a conversation with the director about killing the villain. Compliments his costar. Says he’s the sheriff and could arrest him. DIrector blames the audience. They want to see that even a good man can be driven too far. Someone named Bob gets fired for being a commie.

They go outside. The director gives him the ‘Merica pitch. Just you, your gun, and a code of honor cleaning up the wild west. Cooper sees a woman eating taffy and suggests they pick up later.

Fallout Episode 3 Plot Summary (Cooper’s Wife, Janey’s Mom)

Cooper goes over to talk to the woman. Gonna leave grape taffy for us. Not grape, lavender. If you’re want to eat lavender, drink some perfume. She gives him the spiel that it’s flirtatious. Tastes like someone touching you for the first time. Um, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth and she giggles. Janey comes in and we realize it’s Cooper’s wife. Nice little scene. 

She gives him a box and asks him to come. A costume change. They even made it in your color.

Where’s Wilzig(‘s Head)?

Wilzig’s headless body. The ghoul is inspecting it and the surrounding wasteland, ultimately coming up empty. He coughs and inhales a serum. He wheezes and sees a town off in the distance. A ghoul and his dog go to find “the rest of him.”

Lucy walks holding WIlzig’s head in her hand.

The Ink Spots, “Maybe” plays.

She comes upon another decimated city/town and pauses to overlook it. Sets a fire while she eats a deviled egg. “What is so special about you?” she starts a conversation with Wilzig’s head. It zaps her. “Okay, okay. Keep your secrets , sir. Just in case. To keep you extra safe.” She jams a tracking device up his nose. “There, snug as a bug.” Puts him off to the side and strokes his hair momentarily. She thinks back to meeting “the knight”.

Speak of the Devil

Max jacks up his armor and tries to repair it. He gets a comm on the armor asking for Knight Titus. He responds as Titus. Petty Officer Short Sight. You missed your check in. We were attacked by an abomination. My squire died in battle. He died with honor and glory. We’ll get you a replacement. No, not necessary. No problem. We have plenty of squires. Max panics and pulls out the comm link and goes into town to find a repair shop.

It will cost fix caps to fix. TItus hides his caps in his boot. Can you do it for four? No. Dentist sign, “We buy teeth.” Max comes back with the caps and an extra if you do it fast. One zap with the solder gun and it’s done. Hilarious.

When he gets back to the armor, some raiders are looting it. He gets their attention by throwing a rock at them. He threatens them and gets the quick upper hand trying to get to the armor. Eventually, they overpower him and kick the shit out him. Shades of the earlier fight in the Brotherhood.

Finders keepers, Milord.

Squish

RIghty-tighty, lefty-loosey. They get the armor opened as Max lies lifeless on the ground. When he hears it open, he stands up, grabs a blacksmith tool and a toilet seat and proceeds to beat the shit out of them to Johnny Cash’s “So Doggone Lonesome. The fight sequence is like a Jackie Chan sequence at first with him using the toilet seat to tackle a guy. They get the upper hand again and push him against the armor. The leader tells them to fuck him up. The armor’s hand twitches, grabs the leader’s head, and squeezes. POP They scream and run off.

A vertibird flies into the area. His replacement squire. They assure everyone that it is just a delivery. His new squire? Of course, it’s fucking Thaddeus. Max runs off to get into the armor just as Thaddeus shows up. Max moves to squish Thaddeus’s head. Thaddeus wonders why and begs for mercy. Max spares him and makes him clean the codpiece after smiling and telling him to rise. He’s gonna enjoy this.

I bring new orders, which I’ll humbly relay. We’re not the only ones. Whoever gets the target will control the wasteland. We are to kill whoever stands in our way. Understood.

Lucy, meet the Ghoul. The Ghoul, Lucy.

Lucy passes a Hollywood Blvd sign on her way to a submerged town. Howling in the distance faint.

She sees a fawn and goes to feed it grass. It approaches. The growling gets closer and ripples in the water. Something just ate that fawn. Lucy runs to hide. The thing grabs her from behind. She shoots it and it gets Wilzig’s head before going back into the water. She tracks it first above, then below (using the device). The ghoul comes up behind her with a gun to her head.

“Hello again.” a faint smile. He brains her.

“Where is it? The head?”

He empties her pack in the search and pulls the gun on her again. She lies. I don’t know where it is. I lost it! She repeats.

“A gulper got it, huh?”

Fallout Episode 3 Plot Summary (Norm the Badass)

Back in the vault. Norm hears someone crying. Chet is being reassigned for helping Lucy escape. Now, they ready to tell Norm his fate. They go on and on about his helping her. He suggests a demotion. Everywhere he’s worked, he “lacks enthusiasm”. What about this one? I lack enthusiasm. 

He comes back at them with “I’m just glad we punish people. Is that just for vault dwellers or those who come down to kill vault dwellers?” Norm is kind of a badass. They send him to feed the raiders in their cell. The raiders act like the animals they’re being treated as.

How Do You LIke Them Apples?

Back with Max and Thaddeus. Thaddeus climbs a dead tree looking for apples. Can’t find any. Max tells him to climb higher. It might not be an apple tree. Also, I think it’s dead. Keep looking. On my honor, I will find you an apple. Thaddeus falls and apologizes for not finding an apple. Max is no longer hungry when Thaddeus offers an option. Max informs him that he saw the target leave with a girl. Couldn’t because he got attacked by a ghoul. Thaddeus suggested that he killed him. No, Max, says, if we find the ghoul, we find the target. Great idea! Thaddeus gets a trail and they stumble on Wilzig’s body. Is that him? I don’t know. Hold up the picture. Who did this, the girl or the ghoul? The ghoul, definitely. Thaddeus tries to pick up a trail. Max finds the footprints. LOL

The Golden Rule

Back with Lucy and the ghoul. He has her rigged up and drops her into the water periodically. He tells her the study about torture and how it isn’t effective. Made sense. But, the practice failed to vanish. In fact, a decided uptick of torture. Also, Lucy notices that the water is incredibly radiated. Personally, I agree. Torturing don’t do shit. Then, why do this? Well, I”m not torturing you. I’m using you as bait. He drops her again and whistles off in the distance.

The gulper bites.The ghoul reels him in. The gulper jumps up onto the pier. It’s got fingers for teeth? The gulper tries to eat Lucy. The ghoul stabs it. It smacks the ghoul and grabs Lucy again. She smacks it with her pack. CX404 attacks and bites it. It screams and jumps back into the water. The ghoul is exasperated by this turn of events. Also, his meds are shattered. 

You can’t treat people like this. 

Why not

Because of the Golden Rule. Do unto others as those do unto you.

Well, the Wasteland has it’s own golden rule. Thou shall get sidetracked by bullshit every single time. He leashes her and they start walking, leaving the dog behind.

Fallout Episode 3 Plot Summary (Max and Thaddeus Share a Moment)

Back with Max and Thaddeus. Max freaks out when Thaddeus gets too close, but he’s just refilling the water so he doesn’t get thirsty.

He worked at a fly farm. He was a shitter. They feed them, feed their shit to the flies, and mulch em up for protein.

You knew him? Yeah, Say something. Well, he was a good guy. Say something negative about him. It feels weird because he’s dead. It’s an order. He tells the story about how Max got the target on his chest. He basically passed it on. But, he feels bad about how it all went down.

Norm and the 2-Headed Overseer (Not Really)

With the raiders in the vault.

What do we do about them? How you treat your enemy defines you as a society. It’s the goshdarn truth that we should treat them with respect. We need some actual ideas. The gentleman who showed Woody his butthole is showing a willingness to communicate. We should rehabilitate them and integrate them into our vault society.

THe people are not happy about that

It may take years. But we can do it if we put our minds to it. They suggest teaching Shakespeare, morals, or calculus.

Norm scoffs. It isn’t our place to rehabilitate them. Let’s just kill them.

Everyone else is shocked.

Norm apologizes. 

Someone intervenes about the water chip. It’s destroyed. We only have enough water to keep us hydrated for two months, not accounting for the prisoners. The co overseer thing isn’t working out so well.

Meeting adjourned.

He gets an ally who says his father “would do the right thing”.

Ew

Max and Thaddeus at the river.

The ghoul’s this way. Or, is it. We’re tracking an abomination. Just not sure it’s the right one. Thaddeus offers to lead the charge. Instead, Max sighs and does the right thing, sending him back to shore. He tries to shoot the gulper and misses, looking at the gun. A craftsman and tools, anyone?  LOL

The gulper attacks.

Max retreats. Thaddeus shoots the thing. The gulper looks at him and attacks to “In the Mood” by Glenn Miller orchestra. It starts eating Thaddeus. Max comes back, cursing the whole time. Thaddeus’s screams are hilarious. Understandable, but hilarious. Max tries to pull him free, finally screaming “Victoriam” and tugging. A low growing and a groan and the gulper vomits out its stomach and everything it ate. Dead

You saved me. You saved me first. 

CX 404 is licking the head clean. They got their target.They both celebrate their turn in fortune.

Fallout Episode 3 Plot Summary (Not a Drop to Drink)

The ghoul leads Lucy through the Wasteland. They pass a studio tour bus with several dead passengers and bones on the ground. He stops to drink water, further torturing the parched Lucy.

She asks for water, practically begging. He ignores her and dumps some on the ground before giving her a look that says, “Eff your water, girlie.”

They continue. Hey, is that the statue from the studio lot?

Lucy’s rad meter goes off. “Water, water everywhere. But, not a drop to drink. Everything gets dirty up here, Vaultie. You’ll see.” Is that what happened to you? Radiation? Something like that. 

As they walk, they see a Vault Boy billboard complete with the thumbs up. The ghoul blasts through the head of the cartoon.

I think I know where they’re going with this.

A Star (Vault Boy) is Born

Cooper comes out of his trailer in a Vault suit. Barb offers to introduce him. He says he will try not to embarrass her. He also reveals he never did another advertisement, but his wife never asked. They go through a variety of poses. 

“This suit is tight. Does it block radiation?” At Barb’s nod, they confirm. Hmm. “If I may say, you’re all doing God’s work here. Thank you.” They applaud and go back to the photo shoot.

Again, poses. Cooper has an idea. What if I do a thumbs up? Go for it, Coop. Yep, there it is. Cooper is the face of Vault Boy. Complete with the goofy smile.

Fade to black. Song continues.

And if you couldn’t figure that out, they show a billboard with Vault Boy and Cooper side by side.